Page 1 of The Trauma Response
Chapter one
Three months ago…
Exhaustion pulls at my mind. Not for the first time today, I chase it away with an espresso and sheer determination. Therealworld is always a shock when I emerge from the operating room after an eight hour surgery, but I manage to refocus my thoughts and tired eyes on my work. Once I finish updating my patient’s record and ensuring the nurses know when he should receive his next dose of medication, I can finally head home for the night.
Trauma surgery wasn’t always my top pick, but after watching my mentor reconstruct an entire chest cavity after a crushing accident, I was hooked. There’s something about holding a patient’s heart in my hands that puts life into perspective. Its fragility. Its fleeting span in the grand scheme of things. We are but a whisper in God’s timeline, and those few hours spentexploring and repairing the bodies of his creation are always surreal to me.
“Dr. Whitmore, it’s getting late,” Dr. Frasier checks his watch and frowns. “I don’t want you staying too much later. I need you at your best tomorrow.” Technically, he needs me at my best every day.
I finish the sentence I’m typing and nod. “Yes, sir. I’m about to head out as soon as I close out this report and double check the prescriptions.”
“Be careful. There’s a storm with heavy rain forecasted. I suspect the ER is gearing up for the usual accidents, and I don’t want you to be one of them.” My mentor adjusts his tie and brushes his gray hair back over his balding head. He’s like the grandfather I never knew, always ensuring his residents are in good shape mentally and physically. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a boss as thoughtful.
“Will do.” I close out the file and check the nurse’s notes. Everything seems in order, especially since my choice nurse is on the case. I can head home knowing my patient will be in good hands. “I’m all set. Have a good night.”
“You as well, Dr. Whitmore.” He smiles and heads down the long corridor leading to his office.
Before I can get caught up in the chaos of shift change, I dart to the doctors’ lounge to change and grab my things. Inside, it seems I’ve beaten everyone else and might get out of the parking garage without getting stuck in traffic.
Once I pull off my dirty scrubs and put on a comfortable pair of lounge pants and a sweatshirt, I check my phone. A grin spreads across my lips when I see my boyfriend, Jay, has left a message. I don’t bother checking it before calling him back. No doubt, he’s updating me on his progress. Living in different states has put a strain on our relationship, but since he’s decided to move to Denver, we’ve been doing so much better. I expect him to arriveany time now, but with the incoming storm, it might take longer than anticipated.
The phone rings while I drape my bag over my shoulder with a grunt.
He answers with an oddly suspicious tone. “Tulip? Um, did you get my message?”
I laugh and head out into the maze of hallways leading to the parking garage. “I didn’t. I just got off shift and figured I’d call you instead. Are you close? Will the storm delay you?”
“Uh, no actually. I wish you’d listened to the message before calling me back. I don’t think this is going to work out like we hoped.”
“Oh, no. I thought you said the storm wasn’t a problem. Did you have trouble with the moving truck? Can you come next weekend instead?” Disappointment deflates my previously happy mood.
“That isn’t what I meant. I mean, I don’t think moving to Denver is going to work out. And I definitely don’t think this relationship is going anywhere if I can’t even commit to relocating to be with you. Look, it’s been two years. We had a good run, but you and I both know we’re heading down different paths in life.”
I freeze in the hallway. “Wait, are you breaking up with me? Over the phone on the very day you’re supposed tomovehere?”
“You had to see this coming. You’re not willing to leave Denver—”
“Because I have ajobas a trauma surgeon, Jay. What part of that sounds like it’s an easy transfer? Besides, you are the one who said it would be easier for you to find work here than for me to try to get a position at another hospital.”
“You never miss an opportunity to rub your success in my face. I get it. I’m just an electrician, but you know I’m trying to start my own company. I have a reputation here, and if I up andleave then I’ll have to start all over.” The irritation in his tone is apparent. My feet are glued in place. We’ve had this same fight a dozen times already, but I can’t seem to convince him that I don’t care what he does for a living.
“Jay, I’ve told you so many times that I’m proud of you for starting your own business. You deserve to be the boss and run things with how hard you work. I’m not sure how else—”
His sigh interrupts me and my heart sinks. The truth is, Ididsee this coming. When he offered to relocate to Denver I was surprised, but elated. Now, the reality hits me. It was a pipe dream to think he’d drop everything, move away from his family, quash his business prospects, and marry me.
He doesn’t love me. This proves that’s true. I swallow what’s left of my pride and accept my fate.
“Listen, Tulip, I don’t want hard feelings between us. I think if you sit with this for a while, you’ll see it’s for the best. I have too much respect for you and what you do to ask you to move here, and I’m just…not interested in Denver. I tried. I really did, but when the truck arrived this morning, I couldn’t do it.”
I glance out the window and notice that the rain has begun. And the traffic. Part of me wants to say the heck with it and go sleep in the lounge, but I’ll regret it in the morning. I need to get home, sleep, refresh my mind, and try to work through how I feel about ending a two year relationship over the phone.
“Sure. I guess you’re right,” I admit, though I can’t mask the frustration in my voice. I clench my jaw to hold back words that will only make this worse.
“I don’t like it. I hope you know that. I thought through this a lot, and I guess leaving a message or doing it over the phone was a bad idea in hindsight, but I didn’t see the need to drive all the way there only to get into a fight or something.”
In his own way, I suppose Jay did the right thing. I can’t fault him for what he wants for his life, but it hurts. Love isn’tsupposed to be like this, and knowing I’ve failed in yet another relationship doesn’t make me feel much better. I’m thirty-one, and I’ve had three long-term relationships cave like a cheap wedding cake.
“I’m not mad. It’ll just take some time, you know?”
