Page 36 of The Trauma Response
She says something but it’s muffled, so I tap my ears. She rolls her eyes and slides the helmet on. It’s already synched, and somehow she knows that. “I said, Chantelle must have a lot of these for you to borrow.”
Whits hoists her leg over the back and settles in behind me. “Nope. It’s yours, unless you ghost me again.”
“I told you, I was trying to do what I thought was best for you. I don’t want to hurt you, Cai.”
I start my bike and head toward the rink, praying she sees that she’s not doing what she claims she’s doing. “I think you’re scared, that’s true, but it’s not because you’re going to hurt me. You’re going to have backslides, and that’s fine. I get it, but us reconnecting and spending time together where you enjoy yourself, does not suddenly mean you are taking advantage of me to distract yourself. We used to have a lot of fun, and you weren’t using me back then.”
Things go silent for a while until we’re about halfway to the rink. Whits squeezes me a little tighter. “I’m sorry, Cai.” Her whispered, choked reply tells me she’s holding back tears.
I reach behind and squeeze her thigh. “I know, but I’m still here. I’m always going to be here.”
“For what it’s worth, it’s been hard ignoring you. A girl can get used to flowers and chocolates and books dropped at her door daily. You spoil me.”
“Not even close. If you thinkthatis spoiling you, you haven’t seen anything yet. Gimme time.”
She leans with me into the last turn and into the parking lot. Once the bike is off, she raises her leg and slides off the back so I can get off. I grasp her hand and tug her back to me so I can grasp the bottom of her helmet. I flip up my visor and hers so I can stare into her eyes. She freezes with her arms at her sides, her helmeted forehead pressed to mine.
“I want you to know that I intend to smother you with things you love not just because you’re healing, but also because you’re my friend and I care about you. The only thing you can do that will hurt me, is to cut me out of your life. Anything and everything else can be worked out, but silence cuts deeper than a knife, Whits.”
Her eyes go wider and wider, but she nods so I release her. I don’t expect her to fall into my arms, but she does and our helmets slam together.
“Ouch,” she whines.
I chuckle. “Lesson learned.” I wrap my arms around her and tuck her head under my chin, a feat with these bulky things on our heads.
“I’m sorry.”
“I know. You said that. Let’s let it go and move on, okay?” She nods. “You still like the Dragons, right?”
“Ofcourse.”Her sassy tone is back, and I know we’re past this hiccup. I can only hope she took me seriously, because if she disappears on me again, it’ll kill me.
Chapter nineteen
Watching Caius cheer for the Dragons, who are rocking the playoffs yet again this year, I want to kick myself. I should have talked to him about my issues, voiced my concerns, let him have an opinion about it. Guilt makes me sick to my stomach. He’s such a good friend. A good man. And he’s not going to have any of my nonsense.
He turns to look at me, a broad smile lighting his face.
“I can’t believe he made that save. This game is intense,” he says. “You hungry?”
I shrug. “I could eat something. Maybe a drink, too?”
Cai slides from the seat and heads up the long set of stairs—because he got us seats on the glass—to the concessions area. Meanwhile, I enjoy the first period break, spy a few embarrassed people on the kiss cam, and take in the arena. It’s been a long time since I’ve attended a Dragons game, but something gnaws at me. Is this a date? It feels a lot like a date, but Cai didn’tspecificallyask meona date. He merely showed up at my house and whisked me away, but that’s not unusual. It’s something we did in the past. I grumble to myself. This friendship with himmakes sorting out my feelings and his actions a lot harder than it would be if we were never close.
Ten minutes later, while I’m still deep in trying to decode him, Cai returns with a giant soft drink, two pretzels, two hot dogs, nachos, and funnel cake.
“Cai, this is a heart attack waiting to happen. How do you think I’m going to eat all of…” I fade and add, “Never mind. You still eat like a starving lion. That Chinese food the other week didn’t stand a chance.”
“I can’t help that my metabolism is high, plus I have to work out a lot. Job requirement, you know.” He hands me a hot dog while biting his in half.
Yeah. He works out a lot, all right. His forearms bulge with every move and I can’t stop staring at him. He’s gorgeous. Okay, I can admit that the years have served him well. Gone is the spotty facial hair and goofiness that were both signature Cai. In their place is a sturdy, strong, impressive specimen of a man. I bite my hot dog and look away before he catches me admiring his profile. The team is back on the ice, and the goaltender performs his usual routine prepping the crease.
“Evander absolutely crushed it last period. I hope he can keep it up.” Cai nods toward the Dragons goaltender. “I wonder if Greer is here tonight?”
“Greer Morgan, his wife?” I might have had a serious and busy work life, but I still managed to keep up to date with all the celebrity news. Okay, maybe they aren’t exactly celebrities, but that whole social media, fake dating, falling in love charade they pulled last year was amazing.
“Yeah, she’s usually here.” He says it so casually, it’s almost as if he’s besties with the goalie and his wife.
“How do you know that? Are you a closet Denver Darlings fan?” I ask, remembering that he likes soccer as well. Since Greer played pro soccer, I assume he follows her team as well.
