Page 44 of The Trauma Response
I drag her closer to me and palm both cheeks while her hands wander up my back to settle behind my neck. I’ve put out a lot of fires, some so big it took hours. I’ve performed feats of rescue that most people would be terrified of attempting. I’ve spent my life seeking out danger, if only to save people from death’s dark hold. And none of that,noneof that ever scared me. But the thought of messing up this first kiss with Whits is terrifying.
“Cai,” she breathes and her eyes flutter closed. “Don’t overthink it. That’s my calling card.I’mthe overthinker. You are brave and charge into things when other people run away, remember?”
“I’m not running away, I can promise you that.” I press a little kiss to her nose and nuzzle her cheek. “I just can’t believe I get to kiss you after all these years, and I want to savor every second of it.”
I tilt her head back and stare into her eyes. Where I expect to find trepidation, I find trust. Complete and full, unquestioning trust. There is not an ounce of Tallulah Whitmore that does nottrust me implicitly, and that is a gift I find I treasure more than anything else in the world. Her lips spread into a sweet smile, and she absorbs the moment with me.
But sometimes beautiful moments have a way of getting interrupted, and there isno chanceI’m letting that happen to this moment, one I’ve waited for half my life.
I claim her lips with mine and my heart soars when she melts into me. Her soft and gentle touch, the way her fingers run through my hair, it all takes me into a euphoria I don’t want to leave. Everything about this kiss, the sweetness in the air, the darkening sky, it all falls into place for me. God’s timing is perfection. Whits might suffer still more with the aftermath of the accident, but I’ll always be here for her. I know, deep in my heart, I need her too. I need her to fill the void and cold in my heart whenever I enter my empty home. Whenever I need toholdsomeone to ease my pain after a hard call. We need each other, always have.
Whits sighs into our kiss and allows me to deepen it, falling and falling more into our own little haven. She drags her hands from my hair and presses them to my jaw, down my arms to my hands. When she squeezes them, she releases from our kiss.
“Wow,” she whispers. “Way better than I imagined it.”
I can’t stop myself from laughing. “You did not imagine kissing me. Don’t try to flatter me.”
“Didn’t I? You weren’t the only one who thought about that, beforeandafter the CPR incident.”
Resting my forehead on hers, I groan. “Tell me you are joking because I’m not sure I can take it if you admit you wanted to kiss me, and I missed out.”
“Well, I did.”
I pull back and shake my head. “Figures.”
“I wish I had never let you get away, and kept you in my life at all costs,” she admits. “I was crazy for putting school and workbefore you, and I want you to know…” Her cheeks flame and she lowers her gaze. “Ugh, I’m so stupid.” She turns away from me, slides off the bench, and wanders off but I manage to slip a finger through her belt loop before she gets too far.
“Hey, where are you going? Are you blushing? You never used to get embarrassed with me.”
She turns around and covers her face with her hands. “I did too, I just hid it well. And I’m incredibly embarrassed right now.”
“Why?”
“Because I just admitted I have feelings for you and did back then too. I don’t know. It seems so weird to be embarrassed, but I can’t help it. I feel like a teenage girl again.”
“Yeah, well, I have feelings for you too. Then and now, Whits. Deep feelings and I’d like to explore them with you if you’re interested.” I offer my hand palm up for her to take. She slides her hand over mine and releases a heavy sigh before connecting her gaze to mine.
“I am. Definitely, I am.”
Chapter twenty-three
Riding with Cai feels almost second nature now. I’m still giddy after our confessions and the multiple kisses that happened during the aurora, but there’s something calming and satisfying knowing that we have a plan. We’re on the right track, and for once, on the same page.
“You all right back there, beautiful?” He reaches back and runs his hand up my thigh to squeeze my waist.
“I’m good. I trust you.”
Cai chuckles. “I’m glad. Still, I’m taking it slow. Lots of reckless drivers out tonight.”
“Yeah, nobody needs another accident. That said, I want you to know that despite the setbacks, I’ve never been happier. I can honestly say that I’m past the worst part of grieving, and I’m not even sorry it happened now. It brought you back into my life, and I can never regret or hate anything that did that for me.”
I hear him swallow over the comms. “I hate that it happened to you. I know there will be times that you get frustrated and a little sad, but I’ll be here for all of that. I do need to ask though,are you…I mean, my job is a little dangerous. Are you okay with that?”
“Ha, a little? A warehouse almost fell on your head, Cai.”
“I think you know what I meant, Whits. Is my work going to be a problem for us?”
“I do know what you meant, and I understand. I’d never ask you to give up what you love for me. I know what it’s like to lose something like that. I know it’s dangerous, but I also know you are careful and smart. More than that, I know God is in control. I can’t say I’ll never be scared, but I’ll support you, too.”
