Page 14 of Forgetting Rafe Thomas
Even God’s glorious landscape cannot fill this aching need to be needed that suddenly overwhelms my entire being—mind, body, and soul. Guilt settles in, and I realize I’ve done it again. I’ve tried to see things my way instead of trusting the process.
With a sigh, I resume staring out the window.
A car door slams, breaking my moody introspection. There’s another small cottage hidden behind some rocks and trees that I didn’t see when I arrived. If I hadn’t heard the car door, I would never have known it was there at all.
“Okay, thank you again! I think I’ve got it now,” a man calls as the car in the drive backs out.
“No problem at all!” a woman calls back.
The man watches as the car backs out and turns onto the road, then he kicks a pebble and turns around. He’s tall with dark hair, and I’m pretty sure he has a beard, but it’s difficult to tell fromthis distance. He shivers and lifts his eyes to the sky, spying me staring out the window in the process. He raises his arm high in a wave, while stuffing the other hand in his pocket. I say a silent prayer that he doesn’t head my way, but it’s too late. He’s already halfway through the yard and directed toward the house.
“Drat,” I whisper while I turn my back as if I hadn’t seen him heading my way. I haven’t even sent Rafe a message yet, and getting caught in a conversation with a random stranger definitely won’t help my focus.
I check the time on my phone and notice I have an email from Natasha. I’m not expecting her to check in so soon, so immediate worry floods me once again. I tap on the message and focus on the opening line. My bestie knows me well…
Luna,
Don’t panic. You’re panicking, aren’t you? Well, I said don’t. Everything here is fine. The shipment came and everything was packaged beautifully. These pieces are even more exquisite in person, and I can’t wait for you to see them.
In the meantime, I wanted to keep you appraised even though Mr. Drake insists he trusts me. I’m sure that has more to do with you convincing him than anything I’ve done. Still, I appreciate it.
Attached are pictures of the first three pieces. I wasn’t crazy about the signage for the others, so I’m having them reprinted. They were too big and overwhelmed the scene once the bowls were placed. I hope that is all right.
I also confirmed the invitations with the printers for the pre-show with the board. Don’t forget you have to finalize your speech and pick up your gown. I can pick it up for youif you need me to. I hope you’re doing well and this works out best for you and Rafe.
Love you and best wishes,
Natasha
I tap on the images she attached and agree things look good. She’s right about the display signs, and I can’t wait to see how it looks with her new vision. Part of me is a little jealous she got to see the pieces before me, but this, my time here with Rafe, is more important. Yes, my job means something to me, but I’m not happy. Not fulfilled like I thought I would be.
Once I’ve inspected all the photos, I shoot a quick email back. I totally forgot about the pre-show with the board, but I’ll have plenty of time to pick up my dress from the alterations shop when I get home.
There is one thing I don’t have, though. A date. I bite my lip and wonder if, by the time I leave Ireland, I’ll have one. There’s only one way to find out, so I take a deep breath and send Rafe a message. Short, sweet, and to the point.
I’m here. I came. Resting, and we can talk soon.
Maybe it’s too short? Does it seem abrupt? Angry? I don’t even know anymore. My brain is too scrambled from the long hours and the jet lag, so I tie my dark hair into a ponytail, add one more log to the fire, and stretch out on the sofa. Hopefully, everything will be clearer after a little nap.
Chapter Six
Rafe
There are worse thingsin the world than getting locked out of your cottage in Ireland for the third time in one day—like having the woman you invited arrive and completely ignore you when you wave at her. But she’s here, which has to mean something. I can’t fathom she would get time off from work, fly all the way across the ocean, and stay in the cottage I got her if she only intended to ignore me for a free vacation. That’s not Luna. She’s here because she accepted my offer, and I try to keep that at the front of my mind while I wait patiently for the right time to reach out to Luna and try to strike up some conversation.
I scratch the now properly groomed beard covering my chin and sigh before turning back to the cottage. I hadn’t anticipated the other two homes on the property, but so far, I haven’t been bothered by anyone renting them. I can only hope it stays that way while I work my rear end off to get Luna back.
I still can’t get used to the view, and I find myself staring out over the coastline for the fifth time since I arrived. Fortunately,I’ve got the key and I won’t lock myself out again by accident, so I can try to relax and unwind a little before heading over to confront—no, not confront. That seems too harsh. To…whatever it is when you want to throw yourself at a woman’s feet and beg her to take you back.
With a sigh, I settle into one of the lounge chairs in the rear yard. I can’t help thinking this sunrise is perfect for a romantic walk along the coast, but we’re not there yet. I’m not sure wewillget there, but I remind myself once more that Luna is here. She didn’t call or come to the cottage to greet me, but she’s here. Itdoesmean something--a positive something.
Unless it’s goodbye. Would she fly all the way here for a romantic goodbye? I doubt that. That wouldn’t be like her either.
Cold, salty air fills my lungs. I should go inside, but inside the cottage is too closed off. Out here, I’m closer to God…closer to a simple life…closer to nature…justcloser.I glance at the little house up the hill once more. The lights are off now, and on this cloudy morning, only a faint glow from one window indicates Luna has a fire roaring. That, and the copious smoke billowing from the chimney. I love this little place. It’s peaceful, quaint, and unimposing. Three things my family has not been since Luna and I broke up. They try to fill my days with activities, get me out of the house, when all I want to do is grieve what I lost a little longer.
On one hand, I get it. They love me and worry about me, but pushing me into a phase in my life where they think I should be doesn’t help me get there. In fact, all it does is make me want to stick to my guns, stay in this stalled position for as long as possible. But here? Here makes me want to take a step back and reevaluate everything I thought was wrong. Here makes me want to move forward, finally, into something resembling a functioning adult human being.
I sigh and lean forward, clasping my hands the same way I do every morning and every night. I pray for serenity, for peace, acceptance, and some sign that this will work out. Or a sign that it’s okay to move on if it doesn’t. My prayers are punctuated by the dinging of my phone.
