Page 2 of Forgetting Rafe Thomas
“So of course, I swoop in and save the day as usual. I took out the lookout, and just when my partner was about to get shot, I jumped on the dude’s back. I’m honestly not sure how this department runs when I’m off duty.” He sips his water with a satisfied smirk. I’m not sure how the departmenttolerateshim when he’s on duty.
“Your partner must just love having you on the job with him,” I deadpan, but this guy doesn’t get the hint. My words only add fuel to the fire, and he leads right into the next story. His dinner is going cold on his plate because he won’t be quiet long enough to eat, which means we might be here until next week. I will not survive another tale of adventure, which is undoubtedly wrought with flourishes and falsities.
Thinking fast, I manage to slip my phone from my pocket and onto my lap, where I can discreetly message Natasha and beg her to come rescue me…again. She’ll get me out of this, and I’ll worry about herI told you so’slater. I manage to hastily type something akin to SOS before taking another bite of overcooked chicken. When my phone vibrates, I glance down. She’s on her way. Heaven only knows what sort of chaos my friend is about to cause, but I’m not sure I can bring myself to care if it gets me out of the most monotonous hour of my life.
Even watching Rafe code all day was more stimulating than this constant droning and self-absorbed storytelling. Worried I’ll have to wait forever for Natasha to arrive, I’m about to excuse myself to go to the restroom when she pulls open the door and hurries in, fully frazzled.
There is a good chance Natasha was already in her car, parked outside the restaurant waiting for me to message her, because that was one heck of a response time. Probably better than Parker’s.
“Thank goodness I found you. I’m so sorry to interrupt, but Luna, I just got word that your nannie passed away.”
I gasp and press my hand to my chest. “What? Nannie is…gone?” I ask and gather my things. I work to shed a tear, but it’s impossible. Nannie is what Natasha calls the ceramic paperweight on my desk. It’s a replica of an early American woman, wrought with wrinkles and gray hair, knitting while rocking. It was a gift from my mother, a gag gift, really, but I love it all the same.
“I’m afraid so. She was knitting and…Well, she just…fell over dead!”Natasha makes a flopping motion with her hand and slams it palm down on the table, startling Parker.
He blinks a few times and shifts his gaze to me. “Who…who is this?”
I swipe a nonexistent tear and grasp Natasha’s forearm to steady me. “This is my Nannie’s neighbor. I’m sorry, Parker. I’m going to have to go.”
The genuine concern on his face almost makes me feel bad for doing this to him.Almost.But I cannot suffer another tale of heroism. “Oh, no, I understand. This is awful. Luna, I’m so sorry. Do you need a ride or—” He makes a motion to stand and digs for his wallet.
“Oh no, no need to take you away from your meal. I’ll take her to be with the family right away,” Natasha grabs my arm and yanks me toward the door without uttering another syllable to my date. He sits bewildered behind us, and I try to muster a wave while she shoves me onto the sidewalk outside.
“I kind of feel bad leaving him with the bill,” I admit, but it only earns me a scalding glare from my friend. I grin. “Well, tell me you didn’t actually off Nannie to get back at me for going on a date you told me not to go on. Is she in one piece?”
“She is.” Beside her car, Natasha finally pauses for a break. “Just be glad I was already out and about, or it would have taken me more than a half hour to get here.
“I owe you one for sure. And no more dates for a while. I think I need to focus on my work and getting this exhibit—”
Another glare cuts me off midsentence. “We both know the exhibit is almost done. The pieces are on the way now. I got the shipment paperwork via email after you left. Once it arrives, you can put it together in two days. Stop lying to me about this. You know as well as I do that you’re avoiding what youactuallyneed to do. Go home, call Rafe, work this out, and stop pretending you two aren’t meant to spend the rest of your lives together.” She opens her driver’s side door and pauses before getting in. “Oh, and you might want to move unless you want to keep up the ruse that your paperweight dropped dead every time you see that guy.” She points toward the restaurant.
I roll my eyes and fall into the passenger seat with a groan. “I don’t think I’ll need to move. I’ll just leave early and come home late every day and avoid him altogether.”
“Oh, yeah, because that seems like a solid plan. Why don’t you ever listen to me?” She glances at me and starts her car. “I do give good advice, you know.”
She’s hurt. It’s the unmistakable tone in her voice and the way she grips the wheel as a lifeline that clues me in. She’s trying to help me, and I do the total opposite every time. She pulls from the parking space while I stare into my lap and toy with a loose string on my cardigan. After a few minutes, I look out the window.
I watch the city go by and try to come up with an answer that will satisfy her. I know she gives good advice. And her suggestion to make things right with Rafe isn’t crazy, but if she knew how hard it was for me to face him at Vivien and Beck’s wedding, then she’d understand why I can’t do it again now. I’m ashamed to admit, but I’m embarrassed by my behavior. I’m embarrassed that I let it go so far without a second thought, and in many ways, I led Rafe on to believe that there was another chance betweenus. I let my desire to have physical affection from him outweigh my morals. I should have controlled myself.
And the truth is…I’m not so sure there isn’t another chance for us. But I’m scared.
My heart is still so broken and fragile that I’m not sure I could handle getting back into a relationship with him. Only to discover nothing has changed, and I’ll never achieve my ultimate goal of becoming his wife, having his kids, and living out our dreams together.
Natasha sighs. “You know, you will never have answers if you don’t at least answer his calls.” Her tone is softer now, almost soothing. “You don’t have to get back together with him, but you should at least take his call, hear him out, and then decide. Otherwise, you’re always going to be right here in my passenger seat, regretting yet another date because it isn’t him. Always wondering if you could have done more. Always comparing every other guy to what you really want.”
It hits me hard…too hard. Because I know she’s right. Every single date bombs because the man sitting across from me isn’t Rafe Thomas. No date will ever go well until I know, without a doubt, that things between us are over with no hope of going back.
“I know,” I whisper as she pulls up to my building.
After she parks, she reaches across the center console and squeezes my hand. “Want me to come in for a bit? Make you some tea and we can talk through this? I’ll be nice, I promise.”
I shake my head and take a deep breath, ready to do the big girl thing and tackle my problem once and for all. “No. I think I need to do this on my own. Thanks though.” I shove the door open and step out into the cool evening air. “Thanks for being the best friend a girl could ask for.”
Natasha smiles and shrugs. “About time you admit I’m your best friend. Took you long enough.”
I chuckle and shake my head again. “Night, Nats.”
“Good luck, honey. I’m only a phone call away if you need me.”
