Page 29 of Forgetting Rafe Thomas
Rafe
Talking to Luna thisway, with openness even through the fear and worry of it, is more freeing than I could have ever dreamed. Who would have thought such a thing? I let fear and a preconceived notion of success blind me to a lot, but worst of all, it blinded me to what she really needed. Just me. She neededme.And knowing that now makes all the difference. It’s like my mind and heart have opened up, forcing my mouth to let it all out.
When we reach the cottage, there’s a distinct change in the air between us. It wasn’t bad before, but there were still so many questions. Now, I’m more confident. She’s more relaxed. We’re both getting a feel for this again.
“Feel like going into town and browsing the shops?” I ask.
Luna shakes her head and clings to my arm as we walk up the stairs. “No, I want to be with you.”
“I’m pretty sure I’ll be there,” I tease.
“Oh stop, you know I mean in the quiet. My cottage has a stash of board games. Do you want to play with me for a while, then have some lunch?”
“Anything you want, baby girl.” I almost freeze when I realize I let that old nickname slip out. She doesn’t say anything, but hums her approval. Good. Wonderful, but I’m not sure I want to fall back into the old routine. There’s a good chance we fallallthe way back, which would be terrible.
Luna leans in and whispers, “Don’t think so hard. I like when you call me baby girl.”
I breathe a sigh and try to relax again. “It slipped out.”
“Doesn’t matter. I said it’s okay, and it is. I like it, Rafe. I want to be your girl again. I want more than that. Keep talking to me, telling me the truth, and there’s no reason to believe we won’t work.”
I unlock and open the door to my cottage, forgetting we were supposed to go to hers to play games. She follows me in and sheds her jacket, draping it over the lounge chair.
“Let me grab a few things from the pantry, and we can walk up to your place,” I say, and head to the kitchen, more to catch my breath than anything else. While I had hoped this trip would rekindle what we lost, I wasn’t anticipating it going so well so fast. In many ways, I worry it’s fleeting, and once we return to real life, it’ll disappear or disintegrate back to the mess we had.
The mess I had is probably more accurate. I’m not so sure she was as miserable as I was while we were apart, but I wouldn’t wish that on her. Rummaging around in the kitchen gives me some time to get my head screwed on straight, but when she enters to help me gather things for lunch, I’m all mixed up again.
“You okay?” she asks.
“Yeah…uh…not sure what to make for lunch. Any ideas?”
She peers around me into the sparsely filled pantry to see what I have. Her proximity stirs all those old feelings again, the oneswhere I think she’s way too good for me and there is no chance at a real future for us. I’m pretty sure I spent the first six months of our relationship waiting for the other shoe to drop and for everyone to admit it was all a joke. Or for her to realize she had a momentary lapse in good judgment and ditch me for someone else.
She runs her fingers up my back and leans against me for what amounts to a side hug. “I don’t know about you, but I could be satisfied with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I’m not starving.”
“That would be great if I had peanut butter. Or jelly.” I peer deeper into the pantry. “Or bread.”
Luna chuckles and slides her hand down my arm to take my hand. “I have all three at my cottage. We’re going there for board games anyway, so we might as well go.”
“Sorry. Maybe I can make you something for dinner.” I shrug and lead her back to the living room area to grab our jackets.
The walk back up the hill is quiet, but not uncomfortably so. I’m lost in thought, and one glance in her direction is all I need to see that she is too. Luna chews on her bottom lip and stares at the ground while we walk. As we approach her cottage, I pause.
“Do you think we should go ahead and take some more logs in?”
She chuckles and swipes her hair behind her ear. “I think we have plenty for now.”
Heading up the stairs, my heart stutters. I have no idea why I’m so nervous right now, not after the spectacular morning we’ve had together. Still, my nerves are in overdrive. I try to convince myself I’m overreacting while Luna heads to the kitchen and gathers things for us to eat. Spying the stack of board games, I decide to set something up while she works.
There are several of the well-known games, but I decide to go with a favorite—Clue. I arrange everything and double-check formissing pieces. I’ll never forget the time half the Thomas family was in an uproar because one card was missing. It threw the whole game and had everyone thinking poor Silas was a cheater for a solid week. Then Mom found the missing card in the Monopoly game box.
“Almost done!” she calls from the kitchen, then emerges three seconds later with triangle-shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, fruit bowls, and slices of cheese. She puts the tray in the middle of the coffee table then flops on a chair opposite me. “Oh, Clue. Are you ready to lose?”
I shrug, accepting my position in the family—Family Game Night Epic Loser. I’ve never, not once, won a family game night. It’s not for lack of trying. I’ve teamed up with all nine of my brothers in different combinations, with Luna and my parents, and so many other friends it’s ridiculous. No arrangement has ever helped me to a win. I’m the black cloud of family game night.
“Won’t be the first time.”
And I’m not wrong. Twenty minutes in, and it’s clear that Luna is going to discover who the murderer was, where it was done, and how in about three more moves. Meanwhile, I’m still not sure I didn’t do it.
