Page 4 of Forgetting Rafe Thomas
“I refuse to believe that you know what you’re talking about. You’re overlooking something. Maybe misunderstanding again, but there has to be something. She wouldn’t pay attention to you if there weren’tsomethingyou can do,” Mav says. “You know, we miss—”
I groan, interrupting the five hundredth time he and the rest of my family has reminded me that they also miss Luna, their lives have been equally as impacted by the loss, and I should do something about it so they aren’t sad. Well, news flash, I’m more torn up about losing the love of my life than they could ever be, and I do not appreciate them stealing the depression that should be all my own.
But I don’t tell them that. No matter how mad I get, I can’t brush their emotions under a rug and pretend they don’t exist, even if they do make everything harder for me.
Rather than get angry, I sigh. “Yeah, you mentioned it a few times.”
“Well, I’m sorry if us missing a woman who has been a sister to us for years bothers you.” Mav drops the remote on the coffee table and crosses his arms. “The least you can do is be honest with us about what happened at Beck’s wedding. We thought you were back together by the way you were dancing and whispering in her ear, and then, nothing happened. She’s still gone and now you’re a stinky old man.”
I drop my head into my hands and rest my elbows on my knees, willing my brain to avoid any and all memories of that night. Yeah, dude, I thought the same, but when she drove off and left me standing in the parking lot without an answer to my question—can we go on a date and try to repair our former relationship—the reality of life hit me all over again. I can’t fix this, not now, not then, not ever. The wedding was a fluke, probably an accident in her mind, and now comes the real grieving process.
“I asked her on a date, she didn’t answer me, got in her car, and drove off. That was the last I heard from her. Call me crazy, but I’m not keen on chasing after a person whose answer is clearly no. I think they call that stalking in most societies.”
Silas and Mav share another glance. “She didn’t say anything? At all? That doesn’t seem like something Luna would do. Could she have misunderstood you?”
I lean back, ready for the interrogation to end. The sooner I give in and answer all their questions, the faster it will. “How would I know if she misunderstood me? She won’t take my calls either.”
“What did you say, exactly?” Mav asks. I’m still trying to figure out what he thinks he can do. The guy has had one girlfriend, and when she moved away for college, she dumped him.
“I said I had a great time and we should do it again sometime.”
Silas chuckles. “You think that was an invitation to a date? Dude, you made out with her in a closet. She probably thought that’s all you wanted. No wonder she didn’t answer you.”
“There is no way she thought that. She knows me better than that.”
Silas’ eyes go wide. “Does she? She sure didn’t know you were about to propose to her. She has no idea you bought her a house that still sits completely devoid of human occupants, just outside of town. You didn’t even tell her you sold an app. I think she knows the guy you used to be, but nothing about the man you are now. You keep too many words in your head when they really need to exit your mouth.”
“Silas, you let too many words come out when you really need to keep that fat mouth of yours shut.” I stand and head upstairs where I can brood in peace. There is no way Luna would ever think the only thing I wanted from her was a physical connection. I’ve always told her how much I love her, tried to show her with my actions, but when it came to our future, I always felt like I had toarriveat a certain point in life before we could get married. A stable income, a house, the works. She deserves them all, but when I reach the top step of this cramped townhouse, my confidence in that opinion wavers.
Actually, it falls all the way back down the stairs and crashes in a heap ofoh noas realization dawns on me.
Maybe shedidn’tknow?
I grip the railing and let my mind flood back over the years, even all the way back to our first date when we were kids in high school. I’d bought her flowers, then proceeded to shower her with surprises for years until college when it became a little harder to hide them from her. Still, I tried to do things for her but…what if those gifts were all empty gestures in her mind?
“You okay?” Mav asks. He had followed me up the stairs, and now stands two behind me, waiting for me to decide my next move.
I swallow the rock in my throat that says I’m definitely not okay. “I don’t know anymore.” With another sigh, I try to put into words my problem. I’m not a man of many words, but I do have feelings, and they are aplenty. “I tried to show her. I did all the things men are supposed to do—flowers, chocolates. You know, stuff Dad does for Mom.”
Mav inhales deeply and ruffles his hair. “Listen, I don’t know much about women, but I do know one thing about Luna. Things don’t mean anything to her. She needs words, and you, my big brother, are plenty short on them. It’s not like Mom. Mom reads Dad even when he doesn’t speak, but that’s not how every relationship is, right?”
“I told her I loved her all the time. What else could I possibly have said?” I take the final step and head down the hallway, my mind reeling.
Mav follows me as usual.
“You could have said that you bought her a house and an engagement ring and that you wanted to marry her. That’s what you could have said. Rafe, you can still do that,” he argues.
I turn just before my bedroom door and throw my hands in the air. “How? How do I tell her those things when she doesn’t want anything to do with me? She doesn’t answer my calls, my texts, emails, or messages on social media. I’d send a carrier pigeon, but I worry she might shoot it down too.”
“She never said she doesn’t want anything to do with you! When did she come right out and say she doesn’t want anything to do with you?” Silas has joined him again, but this time, I might be willing to listen to them.
“I thought I just spelled that out. She literally won’t talk to me.”
“Look, we’re not trying to make you feel worse. Let me help you. I can help, Rafe,” Mav says. The desperation in his voice aches of missing a woman who was, as he said, like a big sister to him for years. It hits me that the kid was barely out of elementary school when Luna came into the picture, and that kind of time truly cannot be so easily let go of for anyone.
“How?” I mumble. “What on earth can you possibly do that I haven’t already tried?”
“Leave that to me. I’ll make the plan, you just…go make yourself human looking.”
