Page 18 of Down the Aisle
Looking down at Asher with a natural smile, she reached down and poked at his chubby cheek with a giggle before turning her gaze up at me. "I love it here, so if I can stay here forever, then that's the plan." Though genuine, I could hear the slight dip in her hopeful voice.
Keeping my voice light and curious, I pressed, "What would stop you from staying? I mean, you might be hustling a little, but you're getting by okay from the looks of it." I wanted to see if she would let slip any information I could use. "And you seem pretty content here." I sweetened things a little with a hopeful smile.
Her hopeful smile saddened with her dry chuckle. "Well, sometimes life just kind of happens, ya know?" There was that distant and broken look to her brown orbs again. "Never know when shit crashes into your life."
There was definitely something going on; I just had to figure out what it was. And if I couldn't, then I had to figure out a plan B real fast. Well, I could wait around for her problem to come and deal with it, but then I'd risk her running.
Sighing internally, I softly shook my head to throw the thoughts out. "Well, no shit will come your way while I'm around," I assured her with a determined grin.
Squeezing her hip firmly and reassuringly, I leaned over and placed a brief kiss against the side of her head. "I'll take all the hits, and as long as it means I get to see your beautiful face every day, then bring it on." They'd only get one hit before their body ended up in pieces in the ocean and eventually in some shark's stomach.
Rolling her eyes at me, she gave me a light shove with her shoulder. "You're too much, you know that? Giving all your efforts to someone like me with nothing special going on."
Before I could help it, I found my hand slipping around to her bubbly butt cheek, pinching it and making her jump and yelp in response. Eliza tried to jerk her body away from me, but myhold locked back around her waist and hip, preventing her from inching away.
Growling softly with a scowl, she glared up at me. "What was that for, you pervert?" Her hand lightly whacked at my arm in a pouting manner.
Amused by her cute face and reaction, I chuckled in response. "That's for saying you don't have anything special." I loved the way her cheeks blushed up with her wide eyes as she stared at me in wonder. "Keep downplaying yourself and putting yourself down, and you'll find yourself over my knee eventually."
Eliza instantly dug her heels into the ground, forcing us to stop. "W-whoa, wh-what?" Her soft face was twisted in shock, horror, and slight excitement. "W-why would you do that?" Her head bowed as her hands covered her ass. "I thought you said you would never hit me." Okay, I felt like a bit of an ass when I heard her voice crack with those words.
Turning to face her fully, I slipped my arms around her waist, pulling her close. "Eliza." Keeping one arm secured around her waist, I brought the other up to her face. Running a finger along her neck, I curled my finger under her chin, tilting her head up. "Spanking you to punish you for putting yourself down is not the same as flat-out hitting you for the sake of physically abusing you." Though, I could see why the two concepts could be easily mixed up.
Her frown deepened along with the scrunch of her eyes. "You're still putting your hand on my body," she retorted with fear clouding her once shiny eyes.
Keeping my mouth shut, I mentally debated how to explain this to her. It was obvious from her extreme reaction earlier that she had suffered at another person's hands, so she probably saw physical impact as abuse either way. Though, I wouldn't fault her for the misunderstanding because the line between abuse and certain BDSM activities was very blurry.
"Yes and no." I struggled to get my words out confidently. "Yes, in the sense that I would be putting my hands on you, but no, in the sense that it won't be to harm you." Okay, how the hell could I word this without scaring her into the next state?
Dragging out a sigh, I ran a hand down my face and held it across my jaw in thought for a good moment. "It's the intent." Was that the right thing to say? "I'm not going to 'hit' you because I want to hurt you or find some sick joy out of it. I'm not some woman beater." I didn't mean to sound a little accusatory toward her with my last words, but my anger slipped out.
"If I were to take you over my knee…"
Or a spanking bench.
"It'd be to help you to grow better." Or maybe I should shut my mouth because I might very well be digging my grave; too bad I was already digging. "For example, just now, with you downplaying yourself. I'd punish you, within reason, so that you will think twice about doubting yourself next time."
Pursing and twisting my lips in thought, I sorted my words as best as possible in my mind before spewing them. "There is a purpose to it all." I probably sounded like some serial abuser gaslighting their victim. "I don't want you to discredit yourself or talk yourself into a negative headspace, so the punishment is for your benefit. Seeing you lower your self-esteem like that displeases me because of the impact it has on you."
I let out a sigh of defeat when her face remained twisted with confusion. "I'm sorry if I'm not making much sense. It's just a little tricky to put it in a way that won't scare you off."
Sliding my hand to the back of her head, I tightened my hold on her to hug her firmly. "I don't want to harm you like whoever did in your past, and it might be better if you just Google it and looked into it yourself on your own time because there are others out there who can do a hell of a better job explaining it than I can."
I might be involved in the community and scene, but I was not an instructor or informant about it. If Eliza needed a simple explanation, then I could, but her situation had so many layers to it that I didn't want to uncover them too fast and end up harming her. If I knew more about her situation, then I probably could work my way with her, but I was blind. Trying to talk to her about it was equivalent to walking around a field of landmines with no idea about the amount or general location of the explosives.
One wrong step was all it would take for my chances with Eliza to blow into space.
Humming softly against me, she let me hold her for a somewhat awkward moment. "Sorry if that was a little confusing and much for you. I promise I'm not trying to get in your pants and to get my hands on you in a harmful way." Said the killer before stabbing their victim to death—it seriously felt like it.
"Space and time, Adam," she reminded me with a weak sigh and chuckle. "Space and time." A few soft pats hit my upper arm, indicating my cue to release her and resume our journey for food.
Both of us continued the rest of the way in a—surprisingly—peaceful silence. Thankfully, it wasn't awkward because I put her off by trying to explain myself. And if she did feel awkward around me, then she didn't show it.
The moment we came to a stop at the restaurant, Eliza's face instantly lit up. "Oh, I've picked up for this place so many times, and it always smells and looks so good! I also hear a lot of good things about it," she beamed, her body trembling with excitement.
"And you've never set foot inside for yourself?" I questioned with a quizzical look as I opened the door for her to push the stroller in first.
After muttering a quick 'thanks' to me, she busied herself taking in the warm place with a big smile. Then, she looked at me with a flat and sad smile. "No, I just never had the time and money," she replied with a downward turn of her eyes.
