Page 29 of Down the Aisle
The pressure in my chest eased a little when I caught a glimpse of Eliza's cracking smile and stifled laughter.
And since my silly little plan seems to be working...
"I know you probably might have heard it all before and that you haven't known me long or much, but you can trust me when it comes to your safety and wellbeing," I assured her with a warm and comforting smile, taking her hand into both of mine. "I was raised better, and if my sister or parents caught wind of me hurting a woman, even if it's just with my words, they would drag me out back by my ear and beat my ass." I tried to sound confident with my chuckle, but it shook at the thought of my pissed-off parents having a go at me.
I learned the hard way when I said something mean to a girl in grade school and made her cry. My mother really instilled the fear of God into me, and I was pretty sure I met him for a split second before she dragged me back to the land of the living, only to rip me a new one. Hell, I could feel the phantom pain on my backside still, along with the taste of the rancid soap in my mouth.
I shuddered at the memory and quickly shook it out of my mind, not wanting to dull the moment with Eliza.
Taking a deep breath, I softened my curious eyes at her. "So, please elaborate on earlier," I urged her in the smoothest and calmest voice I could manage. "I want to know if something triggers you or upsets you in any way to avoid it in the future, but I can't read your mind. So, please, let me in just a little so I can avoid passively harming you." If I went off her reactions alone, I could easily take everything the wrong way, become overly cautious, or end up walking around on eggshells.
Eliza hesitated for a moment with some heavy sighs before relenting, "It's just… The way you were looking at me, it kind of… I don't know how to exactly put it into words, but you looked like a hungry wolf preying up on an injured rabbit…" Her body squirmed a little in her seat while her teeth chewed at her bottom lip. "A-and like, it wasn't in a bad way?"
Her hand balled up into a fist as her fidgeting increased, causing the chair to shift and creak under her weight and movements. "You looked like you wanted me… Bad… Like you wanted to tear into me and take your sweet time with me." She didn't sound too comfortable with how her voice wavered, but she didn't sound opposed to it either.
With a deep breath and a kind smile, I reached up and cupped her face with both my hands. "Do you want me to be honest with you?" I should have worded that better. The way she frowned and winced at my question made my stomach sink.Chuckling sheepishly, I bowed my head apologetically. "Sorry, that came out wrong," I said with a nervous exhale and lick of my lips. "What I mean by that is, do you want me to be honest with what went on through my head just then? Why I looked at you like that?"
I really wanted to slap myself again because I didn't think I helped my case any. Backpedaling, I smiled flatly. "I mean, I'll always be honest with you, but obviously, there are some things I won't be so open to divulging because they aren't the most appropriate."
God damn it, stop digging your own fucking grave! Just shut up!
Backtracking some more, I smiled nervously. "N-not to say I always think inappropriately when it comes to you because I don't. I think about cute things too, like what color roses will bring out the best smile or what drinks you might like or if you like candy or how bright your face will light up if I get you a cute little gift." It was the worst time to lose my cool, but my mouth would not stop running. "I mean, I'm not going to deny that I don't think about you in other ways because it would be impossible. I mean, you are so cute and sexy that I can't help but think about how lovely you feel in my arms and against me."
Someone kill me and put me out of my misery.
God, this was so embarrassing, but I couldn't shut my damn mouth! The chilling fear of rejection clawed at my body from the inside out when Eliza's eyes grew wider and wider with astonishment. On the bright side, she hadn't slapped me across the face and shouted for me to get out of her life, so that was a win, I guess.
Still, I watched her with bated breath as her face twisted with confusion and concern for a long while. Her trembling tongue darted out as fast as a snake's, wetting her nervous lips that shook like leaves with her heavy breath. When she finally spoke,her voice came out so small and shaky that I barely caught it. "I… I don't know what to say…" Not exactly the answer I expected or wanted, but I'd take it over 'get the fuck out' any day.
Unable to help it, I looked at her with squinted eyes and a small frown of confusion, causing her to let out a breathy chuckle. "Not in a bad way." Her reassuring smile lightened the weight against my chest a little, making it easier for me to breathe. "I'm just kind of surprised you see me like that, and it scares me a little, but I am really flattered that a perfect man like you desires someone like me so much," she admitted with a red face.
The sweet moment didn't last with her crestfallen expression. "But… If you're just after my—"
"No," I tersely cut her off. Tightening my hold on her face, I looked at her with steeled eyes. "Little rose, I amnotpining after you just for sex. I genuinely want you because my world is bright with you in my life. There is so much to you deep down, and I just know it and see it every time I look deep into your eyes. I want to help you bloom to your full potential, be there for all your smiles and tears, and be your person."
Alright, don't fuck this up, Adam. Don't. Fuck. It. Up.
I forced my mouth shut so I could properly sort my thoughts out. Otherwise, I'd go down the hill, and this time, I wasn't sure if there was a way back up if I fell. "Yes, sex is nice, and I'm not going to deny that I want you in all the sinful ways of the world, but such acts and wants don't come before your heart." Alright, it sounded much better in my head, but it was too late to say it better.
Taking a deep breath to reset myself, I nervously licked my lips before continuing, "I want you for your beautiful heart, the one that drives you to wake up every morning to work late into the night for you and Asher. The one that makes your eyes light up seeing each new day. The one that makes you unique."
Should I have shut up before I started to make less sense, or just make myself sound utterly stupid? Probably, but I couldn't. "I know you have baggage, and I really don't give a single damn about it, except that it hurts me to know you’re hurting. I want you for all of you, chains with weights, baggage, and all. The moment I decided I wanted you, I accepted the fact that you will come with all the bad along with the good."
Pausing, I collected myself and gave both of us a peaceful moment to digest everything. "But despite seeing everything you're dragging around, I couldn't ignore how much I wanted you in my life. I knew I'd help you carry it, if you'd let me, after thirty days." I gently cupped her cheek, my thumb brushing softly over her skin as a smile pulled at my lips. "And before you argue it's not my place—I know. I know it's not my job, and you'll probably say it's unfair for me to take on your burdens, but I don't care. The moment I chose you, I chose all of you—every part, every piece. No one, especially someone as incredible as you, should ever carry it alone."
Letting out a choppy chuckle, Eliza hesitantly reached out and wrapped her arms around my head, bringing me into a stiff hug. Well, it was more like bringing my head into her midsection because I was still kneeling on the floor. "Thank you." Her voice vibrated against the top of my head. "I promise I will take you seriously over the next month, but like I said before, I just need time," she reiterated, almost somberly with how flat she sounded.
Her body pressed against my face with a heaving breath right before she leaned back and smiled at me appreciatively. "I will take all you said into consideration, but we should shelve this conversation for a lot later." Then, her lips curved into an awkward smile. "For now, you should check the pasta before it overcooks."
"Oh shit!" Immediately, I scrambled to my feet, darting over to the stove to turn it off.
Thankfully, it was salvageable. The pasta noodles were a little more done than I'd like, but they weren't mushy. A few quick tosses later, and the nearly perfect carbonara was plated and on the table. "Bon appetit, my little rose." I couldn't help but grin excitedly when I saw her face break out in a huge smile and her wide eyes light up like a starry night sky. "Just a nice little Caesar salad with some creamy carbonara, a Santini family special straight from my mama's recipe book." Offering her a little wink to make her giggle, I carefully poured some white wine for her. "Some nice oaked white wine to pair it all off."
Looking up at me with smiling, teary eyes, she covered the lower half of her face in disbelief. "Adam," she squeaked. "This is too sweet and too much!" She finished with a soft sob. "I can't even begin to thank you enough."
Chuckling, I waved a hand at her dismissively. "Oh, it's nothing to thank me for." Using her own words against her with a smug smirk, I grinned at her cheekily. "I am only doing the bare minimum and giving you what you always deserve."
There wouldn't be a day went by where she'd be treated any less than like a queen because that's what she was.
