Page 34 of Down the Aisle
I had her in my hands, so I had to charm her some more.
Tucking the knife topic back into the recesses of my mind, I glanced at her tenderly and sympathetically. "And I also see the hesitation in your eyes, which I'm not mad or upset about." Shehad every right to be wary of me, considering my actions thus far.
Turning my head, I gave her a reassuring look. "And I just want to let you know that you have nothing to worry about." Holding our hands against my chest, I basked in the blissful warmth filling me as I spoke, "All that I have done, the new normal for us, the way I dote on you and Asher, everything good that seems too good to be true, is not some ploy to get you. It's not some stupid honeymoon phase for us."
Bringing her hand up for another kiss, I looked at her fully to show her the intense conviction that stemmed from my soul. "It is our life."
Fuck I wanted to grab her cute face and turn it stupid with a kiss. I wanted to plant my lips against hers until her eyes would go dopey with a matching smile. But no, I couldn't because I was fucking driving!
"As I said before, I will never treat you any differently or less just because we are officially together. I'm not the type of man to trick someone into a lie of a life." Cruel mafia boss or not, I was always upfront with people.
I never hid anything from anyone, as shocking as it may sound.
Now, if someone got into shit with me because they didn't read the fine print or asked the right questions, then it was on them.
"And I know you may find it hard to believe, and I don't blame you one bit for that. But just know you can trust me and the life I am promising you," I said in such a tender and teeth-rotting sweet way as if I was giving her any choice in the matter. Of course, she had no idea who she was agreeing to.
She already lost the game the moment I decided to have her.
A long and soft sigh dragged out of Eliza before her deflated words followed. "I know, and that's what scares me." I could feelher resolve weakening. "I want to believe you, let you in, give you that chance, but I'm just so scared because of what's happened in the past. I've been promised so many things and tricked down so many paths that I just don't want to trust anyone now."
"Understandable, and I don't hold anything against you for your feelings toward this whole situation because of past experiences," I told her with full belief. "But, I'm just reassuring you that I'm not a two-timing bastard, promise."
An understanding silence floated between us for a while until I ripped the band-aid off. "Speaking about past experiences…" A quick glance and guilt swallowed me into an endless pit when I saw Eliza's slight panic as she withdrew from me. "I didn't bring it up that night because it didn't feel right, but I can't let it go, and I completely understand if it's too much for you. Just tell me so, and I'll drop it. But the thing with the knife, you really worried me, and I just want to know what happened for you to react like you did."
And I needed to know who to kill for mentally scarring her like that.
I didn't feel too confident about getting an actual answer from her because I had a strong feeling about the subject being an iffy one. So, I couldn't help but smile proudly at Eliza when she gave me something.
"It…" I didn't push her when she struggled to get her words out. She needed to do this on her own, and all I could do was stand right beside her as support with a listening ear. "An ex of mine… He… Uhh… He… It was…" Her fingers picked and pinched at my hands nervously as she trembled in her seat. "I got into an argument with him, and he didn't like it. So, he grabbed the kitchen knife I'd been using to prep dinner and lashed out at me…"
My tongue ached with the desire to press her for more details—get the whole truth. There was truth to her words, but I couldsense a lot went unsaid. Her voice was too empty and shaky as if she was avoiding things.
Prodding would have to wait for another time, though. I didn't want to make her more uncomfortable or, God forbid, set her off. As much as it bothered me, I couldn't for her sake and ours. Though, also, this brought up another problem…
"Did you drop-kick the asshole across the ocean? Did you have to go to the hospital or anything?" I tried to jest with my words, but they came out a little harsher than intended with my scoffing.
Chuckling dryly, I caught the slight movement of her head shaking. "I wish I had the guts… And it was bad enough I ended up in the hospital, but nothing serious enough where I had to be admitted."
Where the hell was that visit in her records then? The only medical records I had in her file were her annual visits, pre and post-natals, well-child checks with Asher, and of course, her hospital visit for Asher's birth. There was nothing about any emergency or urgent care visits. Trust me, I had her whole life on paper memorized from the moment she came into this world to now.
There was no way Max, or I, missed something, especially something so significant. So, what the hell was going on? How did we fuck up that badly? What else had we missed?
"Does it bother you? How I am?" Her small voice cracked at the thick tension in the air. "I mean, it's been what? Three weeks or so, and I haven't even let you kiss me yet." I hated how bothered she sounded, as if she was blaming herself for some nonexistent fault.
I never indicated being irritated or upset about the lack of intimate contact between us. Hell, I was more than elated with the hugs and short cuddles she allowed, and I nearly popped like an overinflated balloon from being so overjoyed when shestarted kissing my cheek in the recent week or so. Honestly, I took what I could get and never complained or whined for more.
Letting go of her hand with a sigh, I traced along the length of her arm to her nape, gripping it softly until I felt her body give under my hold. "My little rose, if I was bothered, then I would have left long ago. I already told you before and all the other times you've asked, but I will keep telling you until you get it through your pretty little head; I will never be bothered by you setting boundaries and sticking by them."
She still had some issues with digging her feet in sometimes, but she got better at voicing her own thoughts and opinions and sticking by them. Although, if I pushed hard enough, sometimes she caved—this was still a work in progress.
"I know the road to recovery and shit isn't easy or fast, and I accepted that fact before I decided to chase you. If I couldn't handle it, then it would've been a shitty move on my part to butt into your life," I remarked with a chuckle while rubbing the back of her neck with my thumb. "So, what if you haven't kissed me yet? Not like I'm going to die if you don't. Besides, there's no law to dating that you have to kiss within a certain time frame."
Soothing her with subtle squeezes and strokes of my fingers, I kept my hand around her nape as I drove. "Also, it's very bad practice for a man to not respect his girlfriend's boundaries." An amused smirk spread across my lips at the feeling of her shuddering and the sight of her cheeks blushing. "Especially if the relationship is more of a Dom and sub dynamic." Probably not the best time to bring up her not-so-sneaky Googling the other day.
"D-do we have to bring that back up? It's so embarrassing, and I honestly can't believe you peeked over like that." She flustered with a huff.
My stifled laughter slipped into a light chuckle when I couldn't hold it back. "I'm sorry, your face was too cute to notsee what was causing it." She sat there for a good while with a scrunched-up face and pouted lips.
