Page 24 of Borrowed
She had to be okay.
Tabby.My twin sister.
“I love you, Sister.It’s okay.Just get out of here, okay?Stay away from Mother.”
“Are you leaving me, Toby?”
I tried to hold back my sobs, anger, and desperation.
“Stand back, Tabitha.”
With all my strength, I smashed the door again and again.Finally, my foot went through the wood, and I could squeeze myself free.
I pulled off my shirt and wrapped it around my sister’s mouth, keeping her low to the ground, trying to navigate to find the door.
But it was hopeless.There was so much smoke, so much fire.Everywhere I looked was a bright, blurry end to death.
“Fuck.”I panted, coughing and spitting up from the black clouds above us.
“Tabby,” I said, no other way out of this hell.“Go under the house like the bunnies.Find a way out.”
She looked at me, her bright, icy eyes curious and glassy.“I like bunnies.”
“Yes, Tabby.Follow the bunnies.Go find the bunnies.”
Tabitha smiled, and I felt relief from my pain.
She had to survive this.
For both of us.
They didn’t tell me she was gone.
Not in words.
But I knew because her bed was stripped.The mattress sat naked, sagging like a used mouth.All the colors from her side of the room were gone.No slippers.No dumb purple blanket.No chipped mug with cartoon cats.Mila liked cats.I didn’t notice all the cat stuff until now.It was gone, just like Mila.
I stood in the doorway while the nurse, a new one with tight braids, humming under her breath like I was a toddler, patted me on the back.“Let’s get you settled for Group, Tabitha.”
“Tabby,” I wanted to say, but my lips stayed shut.They liked the long version.Made me sound less like a pet and more like a patient.
The others didn’t look at me.
Not the girl who tore the paper into smaller paper all day.Not the one who counted ceiling tiles with her mouth open like she could taste them.Not even the boy who cried over his pills.Especially not him.
They knew.
I crawled onto the rug and looked at the people.They were too clean.Everything smelled like bleach and mint.Mila’s chair was empty.But I could still feel the ghost of her warmth where she used to be.It made my stomach feel funny, like I swallowed cotton balls that were growing teeth.
I turned my face away to look at the quiet white walls and waited.
He came then.
Toby.
His weight beside me was strong, like a shadow swallowing the sun.His breath tickled the back of my neck.Cold.Familiar.
“You were good, Zusje.You said all the right things.Now we can have more play time.”
