Page 22 of The Sinner and the Gunslinger
“Maybe.”
His confession sends us into a fit of laughter. Keeping these kinds of thoughts to myself has always been difficult, but if it wasn’t for Wesley, I think I’d have gone insane. He gets it. He’s not tied up in shame and angst by his lustful thoughts like the other two. We can have a joke without judgment. And the Monsignor... he was hilarious. Sometimes he joined in with the jokes.
My laughter dies out. The Monsignor was a good man. I’ll miss him.
Wes glances at the church behind us with a frown. “I know we lied to them about the gospel, but Cisco is more connected to the higher-ups at the Vatican than we’d thought. Honestly, before Thea, I wouldn’t have cared if they were coming to dismantle this organization. But now... it’s not nameless people we’re ruining. Nuns and women have risked their souls to save innocent people. The Entity won’t care.”
My upper lip curls at the implied threat. Even if Leila’s changed since she was Lei Ling, even if she’s a cold, heartless killer now, she’s still my wildcat.
“Do you really think we’re in danger?” I ask, lighting the end of my cigarette until it blazes. Because it won’t just be the girls at risk. Wes and I are a liability now.
He plucks the cancer stick from my lips and stomps on it. “Absolutely. I’ve studied the history of the church, Zeke. They’ve got too much to lose. They’ll send people here to investigate, and it won’t be a friendly chat.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because Cisco knows,” Wes answers. “Why else would he send us away to get our tattoos fixed?”
I still. He’s right. By all intents and purposes, we should be here at the abbey, working our asses off to find that relic and prepare for demon warfare. Maybe even invite a tattooist here to fix the spells on our bodies. But to leave...
“What do we do?”
“Simple. We find that second relic and use it to stop Asmodeus. He’s the horseman of war. It’s only a matter of time before he starts trouble, but if we have a way to stop him, no one can claim that finding the first relic was luck or a coincidence. It will be holy prophecy.”
“Yeah, sure. Simple.”
He gives me a deadly look. “If I catch you smoking again, I’ll make Thea reverse the healing.”
I blanch. “She can do that?”
“I guess we’ll find out.” He stares at me long and hard. “You’ve been given a second chance, Z. Don’t blow it.”
I put my lighter away and pick up the stomped butt. “You’re right. I’ll try.”
“I wasn’t just talking about the smoking.”
“Yeah, I know,” I answer quietly.
“Do you?” He narrows his eyes. “I mean, just look around us. Tell me what you see.”
A beautiful lake. Mountains. An incredible estate. A church. Leila is still training with Mercy on a grassy spot near the back of the abbey. I take a deep breath and exhale. When I don’t answer, Wesley continues. “I see a man who’s suffered just as much as the rest of us, yet somehow is standing before me, healed from the brink of death and within fifty feet of a childhood friend he thought was dead. With everything going on in the world, God decided to give that miracle toyou.”
“Way to make me feel bad, Wes.” I halfheartedly punch him in the shoulder.
“I’m trying to make you feel special. You were chosen, Zeke, and she needs you.”
Feeling my cheeks heat, I nod and look at Leila practicing with a katana. I’ve never stopped loving her, but Wesley doesn’t understand. She wants nothing to do with me. Miracles are a matter of perspective. If I can’t get her to forgive me, then this could be my damnation. I guess God isn’t done punishing me yet.
Twelve
Leila
My neck cracks as I stretch it side to side on my walk back to my room after training with Mercy. The workout was intense. I’m dripping with sweat and exhausted, but the sun is getting low. I have to get my rounds in before night falls.
I usually start and end in my room.
In every foster home I stayed at, something always burned. I look back on those nights and wonder if I had set the fires... had I sleepwalked or blacked out? Was I exactly what they said I was: a naughty, lying child?
But then Zeke told me his sister had been taken by a fire demon, and no one believed him either. Unfortunately, knowing this both comforted me and renewed my sense of fear. I didn’t cause the fires, but something following me did. Something that couldn’t quite reach me but never stopped trying.
