Page 22 of The Boyfriend List
“Too busy screaming in pain?” Reggie asks, nodding like he knows exactly how it feels to be hit in the stomach with a golf club.
“No, I couldn’t hear it over her yelling when a wasp flew down her top.”
I bust out laughing at the mental image. “Giorgio, how do you manage to get so many women to go out with you when you have such horrific stories of your time with them?”
“Oh, it’s not over yet. She was running around, trying to get the wasp out of her bra, so I pushed her into the pond.”
“Youwhat?“ Reggie and I exclaim at the same time.
“Yeah, I figured in the movies, the actor always dives into the lake to avoid the bees chasing him, so I thought it would work for her.”
“You didn’t think she would be a little mad? Or that she might hit her head and drown?”
“She was fine.Reallyfine.” Giorgio smirks. “If you know what I mean. Especially when she was soaking wet.”
I shake my head. “There’s no second date, is there?”
“No, but that’s because she’s terrified of how strongly she’s attracted to me and worries that if we go on a second date, she’ll end up mauling me.” Giorgio gives a confident nod. He’s certifiably delusional. “At least, once she calmed down from cursing at me and saying she hopes I never sire children.”
“Oh, she’ll maul you, alright,” Reggie mutters. I chuckle.
“So, that was my exciting weekend. What did you do with yours?” Giorgio looks expectantly from me to Reggie.
Reggie repeats his weekend activities. I tell them about my horseback riding experience with my nieces.
“Babysitting, huh?” Giorgio arches an eyebrow at me. “Are you practicing for when you have kids of your own?”
I try to dodge the question, since I’ve never told them I don’t want to have kids. In fact, Gloria is the only person who knows that aside from my brother Troy.
“I’d have to find a woman who wants to date me first,” I say.
Giorgio perks up. I swear, he’s like a bloodhound when it comes to the topic of dating. I have a feeling it has to do with his hand in pairing up his cousin, Prince Kostas, and his wife, Raina. Deep down, he’s a mushy romantic. On the surface, he believes he’s a matchmaking genius.
“You know, I’m always here to help with any matchmaking you need. I did find a wife for my cousin,” he says as he waggles his eyebrows.
“Telling him to get married to the first woman he saw doesn’t strike me as sound matchmaking advice,” I retort.
Giorgio and I start squabbling about what counts as matchmaking success. Reggie just shakes his head and goes back to work, reminding me that I should also get back to work, since I have a case to figure out. A company was withholding bonuses to their employees but accruing them so they could deduct them from their income and pay fewer taxes.
“I’m not going to take matchmaking advice from a man who comes to work and tells us a fresh dating horror story every weekend.” I roll my eyes and walk back to my desk, my tea now lukewarm.
“Okay, but you’ll regret it when you’re sad and lonely this weekend!” Giorgio calls out, loud enough for the whole office to hear.
Rolling my eyes, I sit down at my desk and open up my computer. By noon, once I’ve finished drafting several legal documents and have called two clients, I see him again in the break room, eating a Greek salad with chicken.
“Have you considered my matchmaking services?” He arches an eyebrow at me. He looks like a mischievous elf, sans the pointy ears.
“I haven’t considered your so-called matchmaking services.”
“Too bad. I think you and Gloria would make a great couple.”
I pause in my tracks as I walk toward the Keurig to make myself a second cup of tea.
“Ha! I knew that would get your attention.”
Darn. I should’ve known better than to show him he affects me. I say nothing, hoping he gets bored and goes away. I enjoy working with Giorgio, but when it comes to my personal life, he can be exhausting.
“You two have been friends for years. Are you really telling me you never hooked up? No accidental drunken kiss at a house party?”
