Page 42 of The Boyfriend List
"No, but I don't want kids," I say. It's something I've only ever told Gloria. Telling my brother makes me question whether it’s the right decision, something I've been doing more and more lately.
But hearing my parents complain about each other constantly—that just cements it for me. I can't just get married and move on with my own family. Someone has to be there for my mom, to pick up the pieces of our broken home, and it'll have to be me. Savvy is getting married, Brooklyn has his own family, and Troy will probably propose to his longterm girlfriend any day now. Perry is never around.
It'll have to be my job to hold my parents’ marriage together.
Troy doesn't argue with me, which I appreciate. "I think you're a great uncle."
"Thanks."
"But you'd be an even better dad." Never mind. There goes his acceptance and non-judgment.
"Well, I'm not going to be one, so you'd better have eighteen kids to make up for it."
"Come on, London. Why don't you want to have kids? You can't tell me that practicing tax law satisfies your every need in life."
"Marriage and children wouldn't satisfy my every need in life, either."
"Do you have, like, a health issue?” His voice drops at the last three words.
"I'm not impotent or infertile," I say. At least, I'm pretty sure. The doctor would have mentioned it at my last physical. Not that I want to discuss my reproductive health with my brother.
"Okay, geez, no need to be so testy." A grin lights up his face. "Get it,testy? Because—"
"Troy," I say in a warning tone.
He holds up his rubber-gloved hands in a posture of surrender. "Why don't you want to have kids? You're not terrible-looking, you know, if you're worried they'd be bullied for their looks."
I sigh. "Why would I be scared of my children looking like me?"
"You're not giving me any other reasons."
Staring into the damp dishtowel in my hands like it will give me answers, I look up again. "Because the last thing I want is for my kids to grow up watching their parents fight like ours did."
Troy shrugs. "I really don’t think their marriage is that bad. You have to remember, they had their happy moments.”
“Not that I remember,” I mutter.
“They used to go on dates and stuff. Life just gets busy with five kids. But now that Dad’s retired, I’m sure things will be different. They’ll have more time for each other,” Troy says reassuringly. “We already talked about this last time, remember?”
“Right.” But it didn’t assuage my worries last time, and somehow I don’t think any more conversations will.
Troy sighs. “Every marriage goes through a rough patch.”
If that’s the case, my parents’ ‘rough patch’ has lasted twenty-seven years. But I don’t say that. Maybe he’s right, and I was just too young to remember when our parents were happy.
Maybe it's true that they were happy once. But it still scares me to think that means even happy marriages can disintegrate the way theirs has.
Chapter Fifteen: Gloria
At half past eleven, I've pored over every word of this contract, trying to find a loophole for my client. So far, it seems ironclad, and I'm more than ready for a break.
Rummaging through my oversized tote to find my lunch bag, I realize I left it at home.Shoot. The thought of my pork adobo with rice, abandoned on my kitchen counter, makes my stomach growl. A text dings on my phone.
Raina
Lunch in twenty minutes? We could get tacos at the food truck in front of your work!
Gloria
