Page 5 of Saving Little Jenna
I wondered if Jenna was a Little without herself knowing it. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part. She probably didn't get to play with toys as a child. That would explain her fascination with toys. Besides, a lot of women liked cute things like stuffed animals.
"Why don't we take home a couple of things from here?" I asked, picking up the stuffed dog she hugged earlier and handing it to her.
She looked at the stuffed toy longingly for a few moments, as if enchanted into a trance by its cuteness, finally shaking her head to dismiss temptation. "No, Clark. I can only let you buy me bare necessities. I'll feel guilty if I make you spend even a penny more than you need to. Besides, stuffed toys aren't for adults. I've just always liked dogs in films but I never got to see one."
She had slipped up once again. The panic in her face was apparent as my eyes widened in surprise. How could anyone live their life without ever seeing a dog? Was she one of those runaways I occasionally saw on news? The ones who manage to escape after being locked up in a basement all their lives? Why would anyone want to mistreat such a gentle soul as Jenna?
"I've nevertoucheda dog is what I meant," she corrected nervously. "Because my parents are allergic, and so are my siblings. Yes, yes. That makes sense. Of course, I've seen plenty of dogs before. I mean, who hasn't?"
Her shoulders relaxed when I smiled. I wished she didn't have to lie to me, but it was understandable since it was hard for her to trust strangers. Hopefully, with time she'd tell me everything about her past, but I was afraid it would turn out to be horrific.
"Fine," I said and shrugged. "But next time we're here, I won't let you say no."
I made a mental note to remember everything she touched in the store. That way I could buy her everything she liked and gift them as a surprise. She couldn’t refuse a gift.
As I drove us back home, I noticed her checking me out from the corner of her eyes. She was trying to hide it but was failing. She probably didn't get to socialize a lot. When I turned my head to smile at her, she shifted her eyes from my muscled arms to my face before smiling back.
"You should smile more often, you know." I swiftly turned back to the road. "I like your dimples. You look very cute when you smile."
She giggled and her cheeks turned red as she blushed. Could she get any cuter?
"That came out wrong," I corrected. "I didn't mean it like that. You have a nice smile is what I meant."
"I like your smile too," she said quietly.
Now her ears were turning red too.
"So what do you do for a living, Clark?"
She was trying to change the subject. That or she was trying to get to know me, which was a relief. I wanted to know everything about her life but she hadn't asked me anything about mine.
"I'm an entrepreneur and I own a couple of businesses." I looked at her to see if she was genuinely curious, which she was. "After my last breakup, I realized there was more to life than work. Growing up in poverty meant I worked hard to get out of it, but I kept working long after I was making more money than I'd ever need. So I decided to go public and cash out while I still could. Now I can focus on important things in life and live the life I've always wanted."
She gaped at me as if I was speaking gibberish.
"In other words, I arranged for others to take over most of the responsibilities and control while I get to relax."
"Yes, yes." She nodded knowingly. "I think I've seen something like that in a film once."
I didn't want to fall for Jenna. Just like my previous relationships, I knew I'd ruin things by being overprotective and controlling. It wasn't my fault that I had these instincts to protect and take care of someone. It was simply who I was as a person. I had to at least try to stay busy until she stayed at my place. I didn’t trust myself to not make a move. Resisting her would be a hard task considering how sweet she was. She was a lost and hurting soul, and it only made me want to take care of her more.
Chapter 3: Jenna
I’d been surprised when the handsome stranger from the supermarket came out to check on me. When he gave me a hug I melted into his arms and for the first time in my life, I felt safe and protected. When he offered me to live with him, I realized there was still kindness in the world and not everybody was like the people I'd known all my life. Smoking hot or not, it was a risk to live with a stranger. I wasn't good at judging people but there was kindness in Clark's eyes that I'd never seen before. I was used to being mistreated all my life, so it was nice to meet someone caring for a change.
I didn't want Clark to know about my past, so I scolded myself every time I slipped up before him. I couldn't blame myself, though. I’d never had a friend before so I never had to filter my thoughts before I spoke. Hopefully, with time, I would get better at hiding my thoughts.
It was a strange feeling to talk to a man you were attracted to, something I had never done in my life before. Every time Clark as much as looked at me, it was arousing. I found myself rubbing my legs together to try and not get wet each time he looked at my lips when he spoke. His deep voice saying my name was a dopamine rush and I was beginning to explore my sexuality as I had never before. Watching his broad shoulders sway from side to side and his muscled upper body threatening to rip out of his shirt had quickly become my favorite pastime. I even found myself checking out his big butt, something I never imagined myself being into.
Ever since I met Clark a few days ago, life was the best it had ever been, and yet I couldn't escapehimat night. Every night I dreamt thathehad found me and dragged me back to a life of hell. On the other hand, I felt safe in Clark's presence during the day. Even if temporarily, Clark made me forget about all my worries.
I would probably sleep much better if I slept in Clark's bed but that wasn’t going to happen. I found it difficult to stay asleep at night, for every time I drifted into sleep, I jolted back awake by the thought thathehad probably found me. There was no time to lose and I had to keep moving forever if I didn't want to be found. That was the only way to stay safe, but the mere thought of bidding Clark goodbye one day and never getting to see him again gave me terrible anxiety. It was ridiculous considering how I only knew him for a few days now. Was I only attracted to him because he was the first man I’d ever spoken to who wasn't family?
I remembered the days I spent over the last few months, secretly fantasying about having a Daddy one day while I played in my bedroom and hugged my teddy bear. I knew love was always going to be a distant dream, and as a coping mechanism, I told myself I didn't need a man to make me happy. Yet I became obsessed with the first man who cared for me. Maybe I liked him because he told me what to do. He liked making decisions for me and I found it arousing, like the time he decided I needed more clothes or the time I ate too fast and he told me to slow down. Clark wasn't a Daddy but he knew what was best for me like my ideal Daddy would.
Now it had been a week since I started living with Clark and every time he was at work, I found myself having imaginary conversations with him in my head. I'd come up with ways to thank him for being so kind to be, where I'd finally manage to put into words how attractive I found him. I'd smile every time he reciprocated the feelings in my head, but when he came home from work the words just wouldn't come out of my mouth. I'd been a lone wolf all my life, so I hated that I was so desperate to impress someone for the first time.
I was beginning to think my obsession with Clark and the imaginary conversations I had in my head were unhealthy. I felt like a crazy stalker but I couldn't really blame myself. I'd been starved of male presence for far too long.
