Page 38 of The Girlfriend Goal
"Hey," he said, smiling like I hadn't been a disaster just hours ago. "Feeling better?"
"Yes. Thanks for..." I gestured vaguely at myself. "Everything."
"No big deal. Want breakfast? I'm making smoothies."
"I just came to return your hoodie."
"Keep it. Looks better on you anyway." He turned back to the blender. "Seriously, you should eat something. Big game today. You told me I have 'stupidly pretty eyes' and that you think about our kiss when you're supposed to be studying."
"I did not!"
"You did. Right before you made me pinky promise not to tellsober youwhatdrunk yousaid." He held up his pinky. "Oops."
I groaned, sinking onto a barstool. "This is why I don't drink."
"I thought it was cute. Especially the part where you said my ass was 'aesthetically pleasing.'"
"Stop talking."
"Never." He slid a smoothie across to me. "Banana, peanut butter, protein powder, and some other healthy stuff. Matt's recipe for hangover recovery."
I took a tentative sip. It was surprisingly good. "Thanks."
"Stop thanking me." He leaned against the counter, studying me. "So, we kissed again. And you ran again."
"I didn't run. I made a strategic retreat."
He moved closer, bracketing me against the counter without touching. "How long are we going to do this dance?"
"What dance?"
"The one where we pretend we don't want each other. Where you kiss me like your life depends on it, then act like it meant nothing. Where I respect your boundaries while slowly going insane." His voice dropped. "I meant what I said last night. I like you."
"You can't just say things like that."
"Why not? It's true."
"Because I have plans. Because you're supposed to be a meaningless hookup guy, not someone who brings me coconut water and remembers my game schedule and makes me want things I shouldn't want."
"What things?"
"You know what things."
"I want to hear you say it."
I met his eyes, seeing my own want reflected back. "I can't. Because if I say it, it becomes real. And real things can hurt you."
Understanding softened his expression. "Like your brother."
"Like everyone who's ever wanted something too much." I looked away. "It's easier to not want anything at all."
"That's not living, Rachel. That's just existing."
"Existing doesn't hurt."
"It doesn't feel good either." His hand came up to cup my cheek, turning me back to face him. "Take a chance. On feeling something real."
"I don't know how."
