Page 60 of The Girlfriend Goal
"Having the conversation you've been running from for three days. Again."
"I'm not running."
"You changed your entire routine to avoid places I might be. That's literally running."
She turned back to her laptop. "I needed time to think, about how stupid I was. How I let emotions override logic. How I compromised everything I've worked for because you looked at me with those stupid beautiful eyes and said you liked me."
"So you regret it?"
"I regret losing control."
"That's not the same thing."
"Isn't it?" She stood, pacing in the small space. "Do you know what I did after leaving your place? I went home and tried to update my five-year plan. Tried to figure out how to fit 'fell for a hockey player' into my carefully structured future."
"And?"
"And I can't!" The words exploded out of her. "I can't make it work. The math doesn't add up. You'll get drafted, probably this spring. You'll go wherever they send you. And I'llbe here, finishing my degree, then who knows where for my career. We could end up on opposite coasts."
"So?" I pushed off the door, moving closer. "People do long distance. People make sacrifices. People choose each other despite inconvenient geography."
"In fairy tales, maybe. In real life, distance kills relationships. Seventy-three percent of—"
"Stop with the statistics." I caught her hands, stilling her movement. "This isn't a case study. It's us."
"There is no us!" She yanked free. "There can't be. One night doesn't change reality."
"Months of falling for each other changes reality. You saying you like me changes reality."
"I was high on adrenaline—"
"Don't." My voice came out harder than intended. "Don't diminish what happened. Don't pretend it didn't matter."
"It did matter, and that's the problem!" She was crying now, angry tears she kept wiping away. "It mattered too much. You matter too much. And I can't lose you." The admission seemed to surprise her. "I can't fall for you only to lose you to the draft, to distance, to some woman in whatever city claims you."
"You think I'd cheat?"
"I think you'd leave." Her voice went quiet. "Everyone leaves eventually. Ryan to his demons, Brad to his ego, my parents to their work. Even my grandma left. And you'll leave too, for your career. And I won't blame you, but I also can't survive it."
"So you're leaving first?"
"I'm protecting myself."
"You're being a coward."
Her head snapped up. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me." I stepped closer, crowding her space. "You're so scared of maybe losing me someday that you're throwing away what we have now. That's not protection, that's cowardice. You think you're the only one with fears? You don't think I'm terrified of not being enough for you? Of you realizing you could do better than some dyslexic hockey player who might not make it to the NHL?"
"You'll make it."
"Point is, I'm scared too. But I'm here anyway. Because what we have is worth the risk."
She stared at me, tears still falling. "I don't know how to choose hope over fear. To trust that something good won't turn bad."
"Then let me show you." I framed her face with my hands, thumbs wiping away tears. "Every day, let me prove that we're worth fighting for. That I'm not going anywhere unless you're with me."
"You can't promise that."
