Page 64 of The Girlfriend Goal
This was such a bad idea. We'd already hooked up thrice this week, and each time made it harder to pretend this was just physical. Every time he kissed me, went down on me, looked at me like I was the only thing that mattered, another piece of my carefully constructed armor cracked.
But I followed him anyway, making excuses in my head about stress relief and endorphins while knowing the truth—I was addicted to him. To the way he made me feel, not just physically but emotionally. Like I was more than my accomplishments, more than my goals, more than the next thing on my to-do list.
In his room, he kissed me like he'd been starving for it, even though we'd been together just two nights ago. I meltedinto him, all my rational thoughts dissolving under the heat of his mouth, the sure strength of his hands.
"Thought we were being casual," I gasped when he moved to my neck.
"This feels pretty casual to me," he murmured against my skin. "Just two friends helping each other out."
Friends didn't look at each other the way he was looking at my naked body now. Friends didn't hold each other like the world might end if they let go. Friends definitely didn't whisper each other's names like prayers in the dark.
But I let him call it friendship, let myself pretend that's all this was, even as he took me apart with a thoroughness that felt anything but casual. Even as he held me afterward, breaking our no-cuddling rule for the fifth time this week. Even as I fell asleep naked in his arms, knowing I'd hate myself in the morning for staying but unable to make myself leave.
My phone lit up with an email notification just before I drifted off: Seattle Storm interview scheduled for next Friday.
I should’ve been thrilled. It was everything I'd worked for, everything I'd sacrificed for. Instead, all I could think about was how Lance's arms tightened around me in his sleep, like even unconsciously he didn't want to let go.
Jared was right. This wasn't just physical. I was so screwed.
Chapter 26: Lance
Winter break loomed like a power play I couldn't kill. Two weeks without seeing Rachel stretched ahead, an impossibility I refused to accept. We'd been doing our casual thing for weeks now, and the thought of fourteen days without her presence made my chest tight.
"You're moping again," Matt observed from his spot on the couch, where he was definitely not texting Jared despite the dopey smile on his face.
"I don't mope," I said, checking my phone for the dozenth time. Rachel had been weirdly quiet about her break plans, deflecting whenever I brought it up.
"You've been staring at that same page in your textbook for twenty minutes," Matt pointed out. "Either you've suddenly developed the ability to absorb information through osmosis, or you're moping about your 'casual' girlfriend going home for break."
"She's not going home," I said without thinking, then immediately regretted it when Matt perked up.
"Oh? And how do you know that?"
I shrugged. "She mentioned staying on campus. Budget stuff."
The truth was more complicated. Rachel had let it slip during one of our post-hookup conversations—those dangerous moments when her walls came down and she shared pieces of herself she'd normally guard. Her family couldn't afford her flight home, and she was too proud to admit it to them. Thethought of her spending break alone in her empty apartment made something fierce and protective rise in my chest.
"So invite her to Vermont," Matt said, like it was obvious.
"To your family's ski cabin?"
"Why not? I'm already dragging Jared along." He grinned at my shocked expression. "What? We're friends. Friends go on ski trips together."
"Friends," I repeated skeptically.
"Shut up." But he was smiling. "Look, it's perfect. Four friends, hanging out, definitely no romantic undertones whatsoever. Very casual."
The idea took root immediately. Rachel couldn't object to a group trip, right? It wasn't like I was asking her to meet my family or anything serious. Just friends hanging out in a winter cabin. Friends who happened to have seen each other naked. Repeatedly.
"She'll never agree to it," I said, but I was already planning my approach.
Chapter 27: Rachel
"Absolutely not," I said for the third time, but Lance had deployed what I'd secretly termed his ‘puppy eyes of doom’ and my resolve was wavering.
We were in my apartment, ostensibly so he could return a textbook but really because neither of us was very good at staying away from each other. He'd brought up the ski trip casually, like it was no big deal, but I could see the hope in his eyes.
"Come on, Rachel. It's just a few days. Matt and Jared will be there as buffers." He was using his reasonable voice, the one that always made me want to agree to whatever he was saying. "Better than staying here alone."
