Page 72 of The Girlfriend Goal
The answer was never. Brad had treated my ambitions like an inconvenient phase I'd grow out of once I realized being his girlfriend was enough.
"It doesn't matter," I said weakly. "I can't afford distractions right now."
"Babe." Jared took my hands. "What if he's not a distraction? What if he's motivation? You've been playing better since you two started your 'casual' thing. You're happier, more balanced. Maybe having someone in your corner isn't the weakness you think it is."
Before I could respond, Lance appeared in the doorway, hair still messed from sleep and wearing joggers that should be illegal. He hesitated, clearly reading the serious mood.
"Sorry, I can come back."
"No, stay," Jared said, popping up. "I need to go check on something in Matt's room. For an hour."
He practically ran out, leaving Lance and me in loaded silence. He moved to the coffee maker, giving me space while the tension built.
"Jared's not subtle," he said finally.
"He really isn't." I watched him move around the kitchen, noticed how he automatically grabbed my favorite mug for a refill without asking. "He says you have my interview date on your calendar."
Lance froze for just a second before continuing his pour. "Matt has a big mouth."
"Is it true?"
He turned, leaning against the counter. "Would it freak you out if it was?"
"I don't know," I admitted.
"I want you to get it," he said simply. "The Seattle job. Even though it means you'll be across the country. Even though the thought of not seeing you makes me..." He stopped, seemingly remembering our rules. "You've worked too hard not to get everything you want."
"What if what I want isn't simple?" The words slipped out before I could stop them.
Something flared in his eyes. "What do you mean?"
This was dangerous territory, but Jared's words echoed in my head.What if?
"I grew up with nothing," I found myself saying. "Not poor like 'we can't afford name brands.' Poor like 'the electricitygot shut off again' and 'breakfast is sleep because there's no food.' My parents worked three jobs each and it still wasn't enough."
Lance set down his mug, his full attention on me in that way that always made me feel seen.
"Soccer was my ticket out. First with scholarships, then the possibility of going pro before I tore my ACL junior year of high school." I touched my knee absently. "When that dream died, I pivoted to sports management. New plan, same goal—success that means my parents never have to choose between groceries and keeping the lights on again.
"I send them half my scholarship stipend. They don't know. They'd never take it if they knew. But I make it work because that's what you do. You sacrifice. You focus. You don't let anything derail the plan."
"And I'm derailing the plan?" His voice was carefully neutral.
"You're making me want things I can't afford to want," I admitted. "When I'm with you, I forget about the plan. I forget that I can't have both. That something always has to give, and it can't be my career. Not again."
Lance crossed to me then, stopping just outside my personal space. "What if I don't want you to give up anything? What if I just want to be there while you conquer the world?"
"Everyone says that."
"I'm not everyone," he interrupted, rare frustration bleeding through. "I'm not Brad. I'm not going to make you smaller or ask you to choose. Your dreams don't threaten mine, Rachel. They inspire me."
My eyes burned with unexpected tears. "You don't understand."
"Then help me understand." He moved closer, voice dropping. "Tell me why it has to be either or. Explain why caring about each other means you can't also care about your career. Because from where I'm standing, you're already doing both. You're just torturing yourself about it."
"My brother had a full ride to play hockey," I said quietly. "Then Greenfield recruited someone better and pulled his scholarship last minute. Hockey killed his dream, and nearly killed him when the depression hit. He's better now, but for years..." I shook my head. "I watched what putting all your faith in someone else's system does. What happens when you let feelings override logic."
"That wasn't feelings, that was business."
