Page 27 of Creature
Harry blinked at him. “No I ain’t.”
“Of course you are. Youwere left on your own at an age when you should have been nurtured.You were called foul things. But you survived and found a dream andpursued it.”
“It was a stupiddream.”
A heavy realization hit John: Harry, in hisown way, was as alone in the world as John, and perhaps nearly asvulnerable. John had always thought that being human meant havinglove and connections to others. How heartrending that it wasn’tso.
“I don’t know if anyonehas ever treated you with kindness, Harry. But you’ve been nothingbut kind to me, a monster. You didn’t have to. I suspect youweren’t expected to do so. But you did. That proves how strong youare.”
Judging from Harry’s astonishment, he’drarely been praised. “You’re easy to be nice to,” he whispered.
John traced fingertips over one of hisscars, a thick raised one that circled his neck like a collar. Itwasn’t painful, but it felt ugly. He wished he were beautiful, oreven just plain. For Harry’s sake and for his own. An ache hadspread from his heart throughout his body, filling him with a typeof want he’d never experienced. Desire. Oh God, this wasdesire.
Would Harry be disgusted to know that Johnyearned to touch him? Perhaps. But John owed him an honesty inreturn for the one Harry had given him.
“If I were a man, I wouldvery much want to… to make love with you.”
Harry swallowed audibly. “Shit.”
“I know what I am. I knowI’m not—”
“Stop.” Harry put a handon John’s knee. “You’re going to say you’re a monster again, and Iwish you wouldn’t. You need to hear the rest of what I have to tellyou.”
“All right.”
“You say that like it’s soeasy. It ain’t.”
“Then take your time withit. I’m not going anywhere.”
Harry nodded, his hand still heavy and warmon John’s knee. John almost wished he were still terribly weak,unable to even sit unaided, because then Harry might hold himagain. Might once more clean him with a soft wet cloth. Might eventouch John’s skin with his own.
After a long time—four different songsplayed on the radio, interspersed with advertisements for a cardealership and an appliance store—Harry shifted position. “TheBureau sent me here. You know what the Bureau is?”
“The cell.”
“Yeah. They’re the oneswho killed the man who made you, and then they took you away, and….Fuck, John. Theytorturedyou.”
John couldn’t suppress a shudder. “I supposethey wanted to see what I am. How I’m made. You took me away fromthat place.”
“But I can’t keep you.Told you that from the start.”
“You did.”
After a quick squeeze of John’s knee, Harrypulled his hand back under the blanket. “Here’s the whole story.It’s ugly.”
“Like me,” John said,attempting a joke.
But Harry didn’t smile. “You’re notugly.”
An odd thrill swirled through John, makinghis skin tingle. But he warned himself to concentrate—Harry wasabout to reveal John’s purpose and his future.
“The Bureau thinks a guyhere in Portland, named Swan, is trying to make… more likeyou.”
“Why would he wantthat?”
“I don’t know, John. Whydo people want to do stupid things? Because we’re fools. Anyway,it’s illegal, and the Bureau wants to catch him. But they don’thave enough of the goods on him yet, so they sent me here to see ifI can get him to spill the beans.” Harry went silent, perhapsgiving John a chance to process that.
“You work for theBureau?”
