Page 11 of Caroled
“Shh. They are not important. I flew from where they held me, and I hid far away. I was like a wounded rabbit cowering in its burrow. I did not think I would have the strength to emerge. I had once been so proud, but I had become nothing. Those men had stolen something vital from me, and they had destroyed it.”
“Ten—”
“Hush. This tale has a happy ending, mymitting. Because as I hid, I gradually realized that whatever they had taken from me had been replaced with something new. Something… soft and fine and cool. Like silk against overheated skin. Something that soothed. And I realized it came from you.”
Still wrapped in Tenrael’s arms, Charles huffed. “I have nothing like that to give.”
“You are wrong, my heart’s gleam.”
Secretly pleased with the endearments, Charles shook his head. “I spent very little time with you at that carnival. I jerked you off and burned away the spell that bound you, and that’s all.”
“That is all,” Tenrael parroted with a small laugh. “You spoke to me as a person. You weregentlewith me. And you set me free. It was as if you planted a seed within me and it grew within that emptied space. I do not know what fruit that seed bore, but it was nothing of my nature—nothing demonic. It was… good.”
“I’m not good,” Charles insisted.
“You are not perfect, but youarevery good. In my burrow I knew that, left to myself, I could not survive. I needed you. You see? Very much as you need me.”
Now Charles sighed because he did see, and he was sad that Tenrael had ended up with him. What if the Chief had sent someone better to Kansas to investigate the reports of the captured demon? What if he’d sent Ferencz and Donne, for example, or Sam Leonard, or any of the other agents who lacked Charles’s icy spark? Wouldn’t that have turned out better for Tenrael? Even if it would have left Charles with a void in his life. Selfishly, he was glad the void had been filled.
“Fine,” he said. “We need each other.”
“It is more than that. Iwantto need you. I… I do not know if I am capable of love. Demons generally are not. Yet you have changed me, so perhaps…. Well, I do not know. I do not know what love feels like. But I know that when I left my hiding spot, I sought you specifically. Of all the beings in the world. No other soul would have sufficed. And I would give anything—my eyes, my voice, my wings—to remain with you. I could forsake everything but you.”
Charles didn’t know either if that was love. He’d had very little personal experience with the emotion. But he knew Tenrael’s words warmed him and smoothed the shards within him, and that was very good indeed.
He brought Tenrael’s hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. “Sleep. We have work to do tonight.”
The Cherry Tree Carol
Tenrael always seemed biggerand more confident after dark, and tonight was no exception even though he walked the streets disguised as a human. He was delighted with the bustle and activity, frequently pausing to stare in shop windows or watch cars and streetcars go by. He especially liked the Powell Street cable car and admired the thrumming ropes that pulled it up the hill. Charles, who wasn’t in any particular hurry, happily followed Tenrael’s wanderings.
“A city is so much busier down here,” Tenrael said as three expensively dressed women passed by. “From the sky it seems orderly, but it is not. And there are so many scents and sounds.”
“Like being in an anthill,” Charles groused. He wasn’t fond of crowds.
“But ants all look the same. Here there are so many differences. I could watch for years and never grow bored.”
Charles felt a bitter stab of guilt. His own loner tendencies meant that Tenrael also spent most of his time in isolation. Maybe he would prefer to live somewhere more exciting than a bungalow in a quiet neighborhood near the beach.
Perhaps catching Charles’s mood, Tenrael turned to face him. “You have not eaten since breakfast.”
“I won’t starve.”
“No, but you will not be comfortable either.” Tenrael grinned. “Take me to a restaurant, Charles. I have never been to one.”
“Uh, maybe we should go somewhere fancy. But we’re not really dressed for it.” Charles glanced down at his cheap suit. He didn’t enjoy spending money on clothes.
“No. Take me somewhere you would want to go.”
They ended up at Bianchi’s Grill, a place on Donne and Ferencz's list. Bianchi’s turned out to be exactly the type of place Charles liked to frequent: cheap, timeworn, and with employees who didn’t much care what you looked like or what odd things you ate, as long as you paid your bill and didn’t cause problems. It was crowded now, with most of the patrons displaying the tired look of people who worked hard for low pay. Christmas lights brightened the windows, and printed wreaths and Santas hung on the walls. The air was thick with the scents of coffee, bacon, and cigarettes.
Tenrael slid eagerly into the booth and studied the menu. “So many choices!”
“Not for me.”
“Does that make you sad?”
Charles shrugged. “I’m used to it.”
