Page 72 of The Payback Plan
And if Oliver had been here when she woke up, she may well have decided why the hell not? But he wasn’t and putting things off was not who she was. Add to that a very timely notification on her phone from a client panicking about some urgent work and she reluctantly left the bed to face the music.
Twenty minutes later, freshly showered, she was standing in the kitchen near Pavarotti’s cage, coffee in hand as she stared out the window. Oliver was on the beach and she tracked his path as he trudged towards the end in his standard coat and beanie to ward off the chill of yet another grey day.
Was he dictating his book or was he on the beach trying to digest what had gone down between them this weekend? Like she was.
She couldn’t believe the events of the last thirty-six hours. Not the sex. Not the way she’d checked all her baggage and common sense at the door to his room and left it there. Not how she’d opened up to him yesterday about what Harvey had done to her.
Outside her family she’d only ever told three other people – Bella, Sienna and Astrid. They weren’t the only ones who knew, of course. Several police officers, a couple of lawyers,hundredsof people at Oxford University and probably azillioninternet users were all privy to her secret shame.
Unfortunately, she had no control over that. Only over whoshetold. And she’d chosen to tell Oliver.
A flock of seagulls took flight in front of him and she wondered if he was missing Casper dashing around, chasing birds and waves and fetching the ball as many times as Oliver was willing to throw it. He looked over his shoulder for a moment and Paige could see his mouth moving. Dictating his book, she assumed.
It made her ridiculously happy that he was persevering with the book and that it was coming together so well. She smiled then caught herself, her mouth slackening.
She hadnothingto smile about.
Okay yeah, she’d got herself laid six ways to Sunday.With Bella’s ex. Who she was supposed to bemessing with, not… going down on in the shower.
Oh God,idiot –do not think about the shower. They’d had their tryst and now she’d stepped out of the room and was back into reality.
The guilt piled in like she’d known it would but the real problem was, she didn’t know what happened next. From the time she’d pulled herself out of the pit of despair four years ago, determined to start from scratch, she’d always known what was next. She’d had a strategy to get her life back on track and she’d stuck to it, seen it through.
The same thing had happened with the payback plan. She’d had a strategy and all she’d had to do was stick to it. But, her heart was no longer in it, which meant not only had she betrayed Bella, she’d sent a wrecking ball through the group objective.
She’dbroken the chain.
The weight of her guilt was oppressive as she followed Oliver’s progress. It had all seemed so simple in the beginning – a spot of harmless karmic rebalancing of the universe. But now it felt like the universe was having the last laugh. Getting its own payback and maybe it was just what she deserved?
She’d not only wronged Bella but she’d also been lying to Oliver, coming into his house under false pretences. And while that had felt righteous –nobleeven – back at O’Hare in December, it felt plain deceitful right now.
Sighing heavily, she tried to think of a way forward but it felt impossible, her brain a quagmire of indecision. She contemplated ringing her sister and dumping this all in her lap but she didn’t want to drag her into the mess, not when there were three women who were already involved.
She should be talking tothem.
Well, not Bella. She couldn’t even contemplate that right now, fresh out of Oliver’s bed. But Astrid and Sienna? Yes, they’d know what to do, right? After all, a problem shared was a problem halved. Her pulse tripped a little as she picked up her phone.
WhatsApp. Monday 14.00GMT.
To: Sienna, Astrid
Subject line: SOS!!!
Paige
I fucked up. Are you guys free for a call??
Paige waited, her eyes fixed on Oliver’s back as he trudged ever closer to the end of the beach. Her heart was in her mouth, hoping her friends would be around. It was nine in the morning in both New York and Massachusetts so the timing wasn’t bad and she didn’t think she could sit with this any longer, having decided to get it off her chest. Also, if she didn’t do it now she may well chicken out altogether.
Strike while the iron was hot. Or the guilt was hot anyway.
But, oh God, what if they didn’t want tobeher friend any more after revealing she’d betrayed Bella in the most heinous way a woman could betray a friend.
Three little dots appeared and Paige’s throat constricted even further.
Sienna
I can jump on a call.
