Page 94 of The Payback Plan
She deserved that but that didn’t make it hurt any less. And she wanted nothing more than to persuade him to see it from her point of view. To beg his forgiveness. But he was right. Thiswaswhat she’d wanted. To be able to walk away from here and all the potential of public exposure and go back to hidingbehind that peach emoji.
So she needed to suck it up.
Lifting her chin, Paige looked him square in the eyes. She refused to trade any more blows with him or let him see just how affected she was by his words and the path she’d chosen to tread.
‘Well, congratulations.’ He clapped slow and hard for several beats. ‘You got what you wanted. Now you canleave.I hope you’re happy having a good laugh with your little karma club.’
Paige pressed her lips together to stop them from trembling as his disdain reached across the room. But he’d given her an out and she was taking it before she changed her mind. Legs shaking, she picked up Pavarotti’s cage and, leaving everything else, she once again walked out of his house.
This time for good.
* * *
Two weeks. It took Oliver two weeks to simmer down. Two weeks of stewing and not walking and not writing. Hell, he barely ate or showered. He just lay on the couch in the media room, watching TV in the dark. Working his way through his alphabetised CD collection that Paige –purposefullyand probably withgreat relishhe realised now – had constantly messed with.
He didn’t answer calls and didn’t bother responding to messages, notifications or emails. He was far too pissed off to be pleasant to anybody. The only exception had been Doris who knocked on the beach-side door every day and refused to stop knocking until he answered that he was okay.
And then a text arrived from Paige.
Oliver glared at it for long moments, wanting to hurl his phone across the room but wanting to read it desperately. He suspected it would be her saying she was sorry because she sure as shithadn’tsaid it the day she’d told him the truth and despite telling himself he didn’t care, a perverse part of him revelled in the idea of a grovelling apology.
His throat as dry as the three-day-old toast sitting on the crumb-covered coffee table, Oliver tapped on the text.
Hi. Just emailed your document. I wasn’t sure if you wanted anything to do with it straight away so I’ve left it til now.
She was right, the book had been the furthest thing from his mind as he’d wallowed in self-pity.
It’s good, Olly, you should keep going.
That was it. Three lousy sentences. Nothing remotely grovelling about it but it did have a weirdly soothing effect on the boiling acid that had been gurgling in his stomach for the past fortnight.
It’s good, Olly, you should keep going.
It was the fourth time she’d called him Olly and he hated how much he liked it.
Rolling up into a sitting position, Oliver grabbed his laptop that hadn’t been opened since Paige left. He winced at the bright light from the screen as he navigated to his inbox and located Paige’s email. He opened the attachment straight away, a tiny hum of joy resonating deep inside at all the neatly ordered tabs Paige had set up.
He hadn’t wanted to write in two weeks but looking at it now all laid out, ready to go, his mid buzzed with it again.
Minimising the document, he read the email.
Dear Oliver,
I’m writing this because I realise I never said sorry that day. About pretending to lose the document or about lying to you. That was remiss of me so I must now apologise twice. One the actual apology, the second time for not apologising in the first place.
So… sorry. And sorry.
I’m also sorry that I minimised your experiences over the years at the hands of tabloids and the paparazzi. That was particularly egregious and deserves special condemnation.
I’ve been thinking a lot these past couple of weeks about my passivity. And you’re right. I have been punishing myself. So… if those images ever do come into the greater public domain I’ve decided I will make that stand. To turn them around in my favour and use them as a way to speak out against the crime of revenge porn. To become an advocate for people who have experienced it and lobby for meaningful change in the legal system. I don’t expect it will be easy but things worth doing seldom are, right? And I might as well put that three quarters of a law degree to good use.
I don’t know if I’d be brave enough to do it without my hand being forced – maybe one day. But the point is, I’m no longer terrified of what happens if it is. And I couldn’t have got to this place without you giving me a push. So thank you for that.
I’ve also been thinking about what you said about our time together all being an act. I just want you to know that while a lot of what happened between us was manufactured, my feelings for you never were. I don’t expect you to believe me, but it’s the truth.
Lastly, I want to thank you for my time in Cornwall. I know I was there for all the wrong reasons but it was the first time in four years I actually got to be someone more closely resembling me again and for that I will forever be in your debt.
Love always,
