Page 8 of Hot for the Fire Chief
“I think more than a few might say that’s me.”
“How do I know I can trust you? I don’t even know what you do or anything about you.”
Sighing, I stare out at the ocean sparkling like diamonds in the moonlight, the soft whisper of the waves a gentle soundtrack to the cool, salty air.
“I’m a firefighter. Or I was. Now I’m nothing.”
She grumbles a protest. “No. Everyone is something.”
I nod my head. “Right now I don’t know what I am so to me that means I’m nothing.”
“Why aren’t you a firefighter anymore?”
I nod my head at my left leg. “I’m sure you saw the limp. I had to have my knee replaced and it’s not doing as well as they’d hoped.”
“What happened?”
“I was out on a call. I wouldn’t necessarily always be but we’re a small station. I’m the fire chief. Or I was….whatever. The point is that I was in the building with my guys and the damn floor I was on collapsed into the basement. I was the only one on that floor, thank god, but a bloody damn beam came down on my knee and crushed it. The reconstruction worked but it’s not strong enough to go back to doing my job.”
“All my life I’ve only done one thing. I’m a firefighter. So now I don’t know what I am.”
I need to shut the fuck up.
Glancing over, I see the sympathy welling in her sparkling, pale eyes. “Don’t look at me like that, woman. I don’t need your sympathy. I’m fine. I just…I have a few things I need to figure out. So I’m retired now. And I don’t like to birdwatch or go boating or any number of things that men my age like to do when they’ve got time. I just worked. That’s all I’ve ever done.”
“And now you can’t. I see.”
“Do you?” My brow lifts and I glare at her. “Do you really understand what it’s like to have no idea who the hell you are without your job? Your reason for living.”
“Yeah. I do. I lost myself for awhile after I broke up with my ex. He made me feel small. Made me feel like I was worthless and yet too much. I haven’t been able to write for about six months now. Every time I sit down I hear his voice in my head and it’s messed with me so badly that I couldn’t write at all. So yeah, I know what it’s like to lose yourself.”
He pulls me to a stop and lifts his big hand to my face, cradling my jaw and making me look at him. The balmy air whips my hair into my eyes and his fingers come out to gently sweep the soft tendril clear. “He was an idiot. And you should never let someone mess with you like that. You’re not worthless. It’s obvious that they believe in your work or they wouldn’t have offered you a contract.”
Shaking my head, I jerk my face away from him. His fingers burn a trail across my cheek and down and my breath catches.
When I look up at him, his dark eyes gleam in the dark, glinting with a controlled burn that has me shuddering, aching.
“It doesn’t matter.”
He pulls me around and his arms close around me, holding me tight, holding me steady.
“Hey, itdoesmatter.” He pauses and his chin rests on my head. He sighs. “I was married. A long time ago. Before I became chief. She didn’t like the long hours or the time I was away and she finally got sick of it and walked out while I was on shift. After about a week of wondering if she was coming back or not, I was served with divorce papers. I signed them and I never saw her again. She left town. Left me and she never looked back.”
“I’m so sorry I brought up your bad memories, Lance. She sounds like an idiot. She knew what you were and yet she got mad when you did your job.”
She holds me tighter and I can feel her heart beating against my skin. I can’t breathe. My dick jerks in my jeans and I fight to keep from behind down to catch her pretty pink lips.
I swear I’ve never felt anything like I do when she’s in my arms. I’m seriously fucked because I don’t do casual and I don’t want anything serious. I just want to be alone.
But now I’m thinking that I want this woman more than anything I’ve ever had in my life.
The feelings swirling in me for a woman who’s almost a stranger are stronger than the ones I had for my ex.
I shudder and close my eyes, breathing in the salty, sweet tang of her. Huffing her like a damn drug.
I’m a sick, sick fucker.
But I can’t make myself let her go and that’s fucking terrifying.
