Page 43 of Lucy
“Thank you.” He took a long drink of water and let his eyes flit over my face. “Tell me about your siblings. You seem like you love them a lot.” I nodded eagerly and pulled up a picture on my phone.
“This is us. Abel, Nora and me. We hung out today and it was amazing.” Hush blinked a few times and looked at me.
“There are two of you? Jesus.”
“Yeah. We’re twins.”
“Wow. I knew you had a sister I didn’t know it was your twin.”
“Yeah. She’s cute isn’t she?” I laughed.
“Very cute,” he chuckled. “You must be the baby.”
“Didn’t you hear me say we’re twins?” I quizzed after ordering another whiskey.
“I did. You must have come out last. You know what the hell I meant, Lucy.” God, there he was saying my name again. My spine caught a chill and I squirmed around in my seat.
“I did. How can you tell?”
“You’re carefree. The baby always is. Doesn’t matter if it’s by minutes or not.”
“You think I’m carefree?”
“You are. At least that’s how you seem to me. You don’t have to worry about getting locked up or making curfew.”
“I worry about stuff.” Thoughts of Abel danced in my head and I pushed them away.
“I’m sure you do, I didn’t mean to imply you had nothing to worry about. I guess I just wish I were carefree too.” The waiter sat another drink in front of me and I started sucking it down while Hush shook his head.
“Why do you drink so much, Lucy?” Since his question didn’t sound judgy, I answered him.
“I like it. It makes me forget.” My eyes dropped to my drink and I stared directly into my painful memories.
I saw myself sitting on the edge of the tub, holding a pregnancy test, shaking like a leaf. I was pregnant and it was Abel’s. He was the only person I’d ever had sex with. I sucked plenty of dicks and gave a mean hand job but sex was reserved for Abel. I remembered wondering how the hell we could be so careless.
It felt good but I couldn’t let my family know I was pregnant and by my brother no less. I panicked and ran into his room, holding the test. He hugged me and kissed my forehead. He told me it would be okay but I was too scared. I told him we had to get rid of it.
I could see the pain in his eyes but he agreed. He took me to the clinic and I got an ultrasound to determine how far along I was.
Three months.
I was three months pregnant.
With twins.
I aborted them both and I worried every day that Nora or my parents would find out. When I drank, I didn’t think. I didn’t worry. I didn’t wonder how old the twins would be or when their birthdays would have been. I didn’t wonder if they would have been boys or girls.
“Lucy?” Hush’s voice pulled me out of the glass of whiskey and I realized I was crying. I sucked in a breath and wiped my eyes.
“Yeah, sorry about that. Sometimes I get lost in my own thoughts.”
“Seems like you have a lot you want to forget. I’m sorry that it makes you cry.” He was so sincere that the tears rolled again.
“It’s fine, Hush.” I knocked back the rest of my drink and sighed. “Well, just know that I have deep, dark shit I worry about too.”
“I guess I shouldn’t have assumed otherwise.” We got lost in each other after that, laughing and talking. I refused to talk about anything that wasn’t happy. I lost track of the time and so did he.
“Shit, Lucy, I need my phone.” I was staring at him so hard I barely heard him. I shook my head and pulled the phone out of my bra, slapping it in his hand. “We gotta go.” He stood up and dropped money on the table then yanked my hand and dragged me outside.
“Hush, what’s wrong?” I put on my seatbelt and looked at him.
“I have fifteen minutes to check in.” He hauled ass and I laughed every time he hit a speed bump without slowing down. “You are so wasted.”
“I know but it feels like I’m flying.” I laid my head against the headrest and made flying noises while hush drove. I must have fallen asleep at some point but I had no idea when it happened.
**
