Page 41 of Honey Sugar
CHAPTER EIGHT
My family wasn’t big but there were enough of us to fill up the house for Mama and Aunt Sarah’s funeral. On Mama’s side, we didn’t do funeral homes or churches. We did old school in-home funerals. It cut down drastically on costs. We were superstitious too. We didn’t want anyone we didn’t know handling our family’s dead. Mama used to say we didn’t know what kind of juju was being put on the bodies of the deceased so it was best to let family handle it.
That’s what Titan and I did.
We would have made both our mama’s proud.
We made sure a trusted family friend made both of their caskets. We also enlisted the help of strong and able-bodied men in Sugar Bayou to help dig the graves in the cemetery. All the women did the cooking and I worked my ass off for two days after Mama died to make enough chocolate candies and liqueur truffles for the crowd we were expecting.
I had to do something to take my mind off the terrifying scene that kept playing over and over in my head. Finding Mama dead in the tub haunted me. I wondered if there would ever be a time when it didn’t.
Smelling flowers made my insides uneasy because the scent reminded me of Mama’s perfume and I could still smell it clinging to her bed sheets right before me and Titan found her. Seeing anything within the four walls of my home left me shaken. I had to get a grip and I prayed that having Mama’s funeral would help give me the closure I needed.
I barely remembered anything from the service other than I sat beside Titan instead of Daddy because I couldn’t stand to be shoulder to shoulder with him. He was the main reason my mother was in a box and not with me.
Even though I warred over how I felt about my mother after she died, she was still my mother and I would have taken her over my father any day of the week.
I watched the entire funeral unfold from behind a black mesh veil because I didn’t want everyone seeing my bloodshot eyes or the fact that I was extremely out of it. Before the service got underway, I took four Xanax. I’d snuck away from Titan and into the privacy of my bathroom where I downed four white rectangular pills with a few swallows of water. That time, I made sure to eat something before taking that many.
Right before I woke Titan up that morning, I sent an email to Dr. Beaumont and asked for another prescription since my mama had passed and everything. He replied immediately and told me he’d bring some by the funeral.
I was set for another month. I knew he put extra pills in my bottle. I didn’t ask why nor did I care. I needed something to keep me submerged because facing reality was too hard. It was much easier if I had something to help take the edge off.
Off and on all day, I smiled and nodded while people blew by like feathers in the wind. I thanked everyone for their well-wishes. I hugged people who were frequent Honey Sugar customers. I listened quietly to distant family members share memories and I took pictures with people I’d probably never see again.
I watched Titan across the room and he was doing the same thing. When most of the people cleared out of the house, a straggler walked in. He looked around like he didn’t know where he was. A brown skin girl followed closely behind him in a dress that was in no way appropriate for a funeral.
How did they even find the house?
I walked over to them and forced a polite smile. “Hi, are you looking for someone?”
“Damn, I might be looking for you. What’s your name?” He held out his hand for mine but I didn’t offer it. I was more concerned with who the hell he was and why he was at my house like he belonged.
“Yo, Mario. What the fuck are you doing here?” Titan’s voice came out of nowhere but it was a welcome sound. He moved in front of me like he always did when he was in protective mode.
“Shadow, my man.” He slapped Titan’s hand and everything clicked into place for me. He was Titan’s friend from New Orleans. The friend he didn’t trust. “I came to pay my respects.” Mario placed a hand over his heart and feigned sadness.
“I didn’t invite you though,” Titan frowned.
“I know. I had to find out where the funeral was going to be by actually reading the obituary. I’m hurt, bro. You can make it all up to me by introducing me to the green-eyed shorty behind you though.” He peeked around Titan at me and I folded my arms across my chest suddenly conscious of everything I was wearing. Nothing was inappropriate but it seemed Mario’s brown eyes had x-ray capabilities.
“That’s my little cousin. I’m not introducing you to shit.” I saw the way Titan’s muscles flexed and I knew he was ready to pounce like a lion on the prowl. I put my hand on his back gently so that only I could see and only he could feel.
“Damn. Is she your cousin or your bitch?” I cringed then the embarrassment subsided and was taken over by anger. He was such an asshole.
Since my hand was on Titan’s back, I felt his shoulders contract before he got ready to throw a punch. I snagged his arm and moved in front of him. “Don’t do this right now,” I begged. I knew he was my superhero. I knew he was trying to protect me and I knew he didn’t tolerate any disrespect but we were so close to being done with the day. I didn’t want anything to ruin it.
“Damn, Shadow. I didn’t mean any disrespect. You know how I can be sometimes.” Mario grinned and the girl behind him rolled her eyes. She looked to be over it. I wondered why the hell she was even with someone like him. I’d barely had any interaction with him and I was ready to put him out and never look at him again.
“I know you need to watch your motherfucking mouth talking about her like that. Mario, what are you even doing here? You could have paid your respects with a phone call.”
“Not really. Your phone must be cut off because I can’t get in contact with you.” I could tell Titan was growing tired of the back and forth. His eyes were tired and his patience was thin.
“Why do you need to get in contact with me? I told you I was down here with family.”
“You also told me you’d be back in New Orleans. You never came back. You hiding from something?”
“Listen, I don’t know who you are, but can you leave? I had to bury my mother and my aunt today and whatever your purpose here is…it’s not good.”
