Page 73 of Honey Sugar
I scribbled it on paper in my mind alongside hearts and doodles like I was twelve. It made me smile inwardly. Could I ever be Titan’s wife though? As fast as happiness blossomed in my chest, it turned troubled. My thoughts were bitter and I wanted them out of my head. I didn’t want to think about what everyone else would say about my love for Titan.
“What’s the matter?” Titan opened the passenger side door for me and I slid inside. When he sat beside me, I could smell his familiar scent. The soap on his skin mixed with the earthy smell of marijuana and I knew he’d been baking. I wanted to bury my nose against his neck while he held me close.
“Why do you think something is wrong?” I asked him.
“Because your eyes are distant. I study you more than I’ve ever studied weed so you can’t lie to me, Ivy.”
“Wow, more than you’ve studied weed? I’m honored,” I chuckled. Titan eyed me when I crossed my legs and my thighs felt like mush. He was some sort of wizard the way he sparked magic inside of me.
“You should be extremely honored,” he deadpanned. “Now what’s up, baby girl?” Even if I wanted to keep everything inside, I couldn’t once he said those two words. I was putty for him.
“When I signed my name back there, I thought about how it would feel to sign Ivy Devereaux instead of Marchand. It’s what I’ve always wanted anyway. I used to wish I could wash my last name off like a stain. I used to wish I had your last name.”
“You did? I’m going to have to do something about that then.”
“But how? That’s what I started thinking about. What if we’re never able to get married?” I tugged on the plastic hospital bracelets fastened around my wrist until they bit into my skin. I hated being a slave to every damn thing. Either it was pills, tugging my ear, or crippling self-loathing. I had to hurt myself in some kind of way. I stretched my fingers out so that my hands were flat against my legs then I pulled in a deep breath.
“Who’s going to stop us? Your father? He’s so high half the time it’s a fucking wonder he remembers who you are. We don’t have any other family who knows we’re cousins, Ivy. All those phony ass people that showed up to the funerals don’t give a fuck about us. They don’t know us, and they never have. I’m not worried about them or anyone else,” he said. His words were full with so much confidence it ebbed away the uncertainty swelling in my mind.
“What if people find out we’re cousins, Titan? That shit is illegal. I looked it up. I had time,” I said. Pinpricks stabbed at my skin as I tried to keep my hand away from my ear. I honestly felt like keeping away from my ear would be harder than cutting off my pill habit.
“Who’s going to find out though, Ivy? That’s what I keep trying to figure out. You said you had time to look things up. Well, so have I. We don’t need a blood test and we don’t have any family besides your father who would out us. We’ll need two witnesses to get a marriage license and after that, we’re all good. Nobody and nothing can stop us.” He must have seen me digging my fingers into my legs like a crazy person because he took my hand in his and kissed my knuckles. “Stop worrying. I know you can’t wait to marry me but we have time,” he joked. My anxiety tumbled down in pieces as I glared at him. I slapped his arm and he laughed.
“Did my father even ask about me?” I wondered.
“I didn’t see him at all. I’m guessing he found a way to get high.”
“I wish I could erase him from my life.” I rubbed my forehead and looked out of the window at the passing scenery. “How’d things go at Honey Sugar today?”
“Everyone asked about you. I told them you were under the weather. Other than that, it was a normal day. Nothing fell apart because you weren’t there. I had it all under control.” Titan paused then said, “Itdidmake me want to hire some help in there though. We can’t run it by ourselves forever. It’s a lot of fucking work and I’m already starting to get burned out. I can’t imagine how you feel. You have to take a break, baby girl.”
“Honey Sugar has always been my escape though. Whenever I was there, I didn’t have to worry about Daddy hitting Mama or wondering if he was going to hit me. The only thing I had to worry about was ringing up customers or making candy. The rest of the world fell away.” A simple smile pulled my lips up.
“Let’s think about hiring some help and then we’ll work on creating a life you don’t need an escape from.” I smiled at him and reached out to touch his beard. It was so soft and silky I could play in it all day.
Instead of Titan taking me to Honey Sugar like I’m sure he knew I wanted he took me home. “If you say a damn thing about Honey Sugar, I’m going to choke you.”
“Chokeme?” I quizzed, lifting my eyebrow. Titan laughed a little then got out to open my door. “So…about this choking,” I said, tapping my chin with my finger.
“What about it?”
“All I have to do is mention Honey Sugar and you’ll choke me?”
“Maybe. I mean…if you’re into that kind of shit.” When he winked, I thought I would pop. “Iamyour cousin, after all. Most people don’t want their cousins choking them. Not the way I’m going to choke you.” He walked up to the front door and opened it. I was trying not to completely soak my panties. I failed miserably.
“Well, I’m not most people. I like things everyone else turns their nose up at.” I walked through the front door closed and tugged on Titan’s shirt.
“We have a lot in common because I like shit like that too.” He wrapped his hand around my throat and I whimpered at the pressure. The way he choked me threatened to make me come right there in the foyer.
“What else do you like, Titan?” I asked quietly while he cut off my air supply.
“I like when you call my name while I’m eating your pussy.”
“What else?” I whispered. My pulse thumped right where his hand was. I wanted him to choke me harder. I wanted to barely be able to breathe. I was so slick between my legs it was a miracle that my panties didn’t melt like sugar in the rain.
“I like when you scratch my back when I’m deep inside your hot pussy.” He pushed me against the wall with a thud before kissing my lips. “Don’t ever fucking leave me like that again, okay?” His eyes drank mine in. I nodded quickly then kissed him hungrily while his hand stayed in place.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
