Page 11 of Bear
“Wow, you really renovated the hell out of this room, Bear.” I looked around at the mirrored walls on the left side of the room and the weight plates hanging on the other side. The floor was completely rubber and foam. There was a treadmill, an elliptical machine and a couple of multipurpose weight machines I wasn’t going to try to pronounce or figure out.
When Bear went all out…he went all out.
Once my tired, swollen eyes took in the new gym, they took in Bear. I didn’t linger on him long because as close as we were, Bear scared me. Not because of all the dangerous shit he did but because he didn’t realize that there was a life for him outside of that stuff. The only things he saw were his father’s wishes. It was terrifying. Bear was almost like a robot when it came to his dad. I swear it was like he was under some kind of curse.
“I needed a small gym closer to my room since I can’t ever sleep. Sometimes, fucking bitches gets old. It doesn’t physically exhaust me like it did when I was younger.”
“Yet you still do it,” I sniffed. I realized how tightly my arms were folded against my chest and dropped them, wiggling my fingers.
“Gotta kill time some way, right?” He looked at me like a smile was supposed to accompany his words. It didn’t though. Sometimes Bear forgot how to smile and I had to remind him.
“You could read the bible,” I pointed out playfully.
“Why? So I can read how they cast Lucifer out?” He picked up a barbell and started doing deadlifts. The muscles in his back and shoulders rippled and flexed begging me to stare.
I always had a little crush on Bear but it never went beyond that. He never looked at me as anything more than a little sister and that was fine with me. Outside of Kareema, Bear was my dearest friend. He meant the world to me even though I knew he didn’t have the capacity in his heart for me to mean the same to him.
He wanted to love me. He just didn’t know how.
The closest he came to loving me was fussing after me and making sure I stayed away from the seedy shit him and his father were in to. He was an amazing protector too but love always evaded Bear.
It used to make me so sad. I even cried over it once. Mom told me that some people can’t love. Their hearts are in a bind for some reason. Like I said, it felt like Bear was under a curse.
Oh, he’d say the wordslove youall the time. He never attached himself to it though. He never said I love you, Cecily. It was always just…love you. Like they were two words he knew were supposed to go together so he put them beside each other and shoved them out of his mouth robotically.
I still took it whenever I could get it. After all, he was my best friend.
“So you wanna talk about what’s going on with you yet?” Bear asked. I looked up at him and let my eyes take a trip along his muscled biceps as sweat glistened against his silky dark skin.
“After you told me how you have to fuck a bunch of girls to get remotely sleepy? Not exactly warm and inviting, Bear,” I scoffed and rolled my eyes.
“Hey, I never said a bunch. You’re putting words in my mouth.” He set the barbell down and looked at me. “You’re still a virgin, right? None of the reason you’re home has to do with anything like…that?” His voice was still monotone and deep. I knew there was supposed to be inflection tucked between his words so I added it myself and replayed his question in my mind.
“Why?” I smirked.
“Cecily, don’t play with me.” He grabbed a white towel and wiped the sweat from his brow then hung it around his neck. His skin was so deep and dark that the white towel seemed obnoxiously bright in contrast.
“You know I hate talking about that shit with you. It’s weird.”
“That’s nice. It doesn’t answer my question though, does it?” He took a step closer to me and the intensity in his energy nearly overwhelmed me. I pulled in a quick breath and looked across the room at the mirrors instead of into Bear’s bright eyes. He towered over me and I was tall for a woman. His head hung down as he looked at me for an answer to his question. His cropped locs brushed his eyebrows and the veins in his neck pressed against his skin just enough to be traceable.
I wasn’t thinking about tracing them though.
I was just noticing.
“I guess not,” I swallowed.
“You guess not? Baby doll, what did I tell you about answering questions?” His thick brows fell low on his forehead making it harder for me to breathe. It also could have been the humidity in the gym after Bear worked out. I reached up to tighten my ponytail a little. My hands were restless and needed to do something.
“Be direct,” I answered, rolling my eyes.
“Exactly. And fix that attitude.” He gripped my jaw tight enough to draw my attention but he let it go in the next second.
“No, it didn’t answer your question, Bear the giant,” I smirked at him and bounced up on the balls of my feet. Bear glared at me and I bit my bottom lip unable to contain my smile.
“What did I tell you about calling me that?”
“So? You still call me baby doll,” I reasoned.
