Page 17 of North
I wanted to bury myself against his chest and melt into his energy. I wanted to lie there forever feeling safe, warm, and protected. Feeling like I was in a perfect bubble with the only person who really loved me.
Several quiet minutes passed listening to his breathing and I realized my muscles weren’t drawn into a tight knot and my splitting headache was subsiding. It wasn’t an instant fix but I was grateful not to feel as shitty as I did before Kane came in.
“How you doing, Shortcake?” He asked quietly, pushing hair behind my ear. His breath was cool and smelled like spearmint.
“A little better,” I told him honestly. When I turned to face him, my brain went blank. There was only room and space to memorize how handsome he looked all cleaned up. His facial hair was trimmed and neat and his usually flowing wavy hair was pulled back in a small smooth bun at the nape of his neck. He didn’t have on a suit but he wore a black button-down shirt that made his olive skin glow. Maybe it was the lack of light in my room but I swear Kane shone like a star.
How did Mom fuck up with a guy like him?
I reached a shaky hand toward his hair and touched the silky mahogany strands. “Your hair looks nice,” I told him.
“Thanks. Your old man knows how to look human sometimes.” I smiled at him but to me, he always looked human. He looked like a man in love with his dreams. He looked like someone speckled with paint and passion. I loved seeing his hair hang down past his ears with those burnt golden strands peeking through.
I realized that I also loved this version of Kane. With him all neat and smooth. I stared at the freckles on his face and laughed a little at a few stray memories making their way into my otherwise blank mind.
“What’s so funny, North?” He smiled before he even knew what I was thinking. It made me feel like my smile was infectious. Tingles swarmed my legs crawling up my calves to the backs of my knees, finally settling on my thighs.
“I was thinking about how nobody at my school questioned if you were my real father or not because we both have freckles. I guess everyone figured I got red hair from Mom.” It was true. I had her Irish red hair, fair skin, and blue-gray eyes. I had almost nothing from my donor and I was grateful.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about Mom right then but I knew for sure how I felt about my sperm donor. Ihatedhim. I didn’t want any part of me to look like him. I’d take my mother’s genes any day.
Kane smiled and stroked my hair while he nodded. “I remember that. I was concerned when you were in middle school because nobody bothered to check my ID the first time I picked you up early.”
I remembered that day. It was still crisp in my mind because of how all the women in the front office looked at him. Every one of them had hearts in their eyes staring up at this tall, rugged man who picked me up. One of them even asked if Kane could take them home early too.
“I don’t think they cared who you were. They just wanted to gawk at you. Kind of like Melanie every time she comes into the gallery.”
I was working my way around Telluride applying to every small business on Main Street. The shops around there still took paper applications. I was stunned. Tomorrow, I was going to put in an application at Starbucks.
Whenever I got done marching up and down the street, I hung out at the art gallery and every time I was there, Melanie was there too. She never glared at me but her bright white smile may as well have been a glare. I felt it crackling around her.
Kane laughed a little louder then cringed when he remembered my migraine. Luckily, it was receding. “I’m sorry, North,” he said. “You really think Melanie is gawking at me? Laughter splashed subtle color on his face. He looked happy even on a day like today.
“She’s absolutely gawking, Kane.” Our laughter was hushed. It nestled between us filling up gashes left on my soul. When his laughter quieted, his warm stare caressed my face. It moved from my eyes to my lips then along my neck.
Heat blossomed in my chest. It absorbed so much space I couldn’t breathe for a few moments. I wanted him to look at me that way forever. Like I was beautiful and normal. Like I wassomeone.
I spent so long feeling invisible to my mother while trying to fight for her attention that I forgot what it felt like to be seen. Not only did Kane see me but he also prioritized me. Well, at least he was prioritizing me now.
“Sometimes I don’t even notice her.” There was something else he wanted to say. Something that was whispered between the lines in words he never said. “How’s your head, Shortcake?” His long fingers slid through my hair, fanning it out behind me on the pillow.
“It’s tolerable now,” I answered. I hoped he didn’t think the way I watched him was creepy. I couldn’t stop wading through his green eyes and mining for those warm golden flecks.
“Good. I’m gonna go look out for Elijah.” Kane didn’t budge from his spot beside me in bed. His arms loosened a little but his hold was still snug. I still smelled him and my thighs were still alive with sensation.
“Kane, you don’t have to go.” He’d been there for five minutes already. What was a few more minutes?
“I really should.” His hand slid up and down my back spreading heat wherever he touched me.
Fuck…
I wanted to feel his handsotherplaces. I wanted to feel them slip beneath the hem of my skirt and touch my thighs. Thighs that were so hungry for his fingertips.
Stop it, North.
He’s your dad.
I snapped out of my brief fantasy and slid my arms around his neck. Hunger filled my belly until it spilled out of my mouth in the form of short, rapid panting. I was quiet as possible but I wondered if Kane knew the way he made me react just by sliding his hand up and down my back. What if he could tell I was so ravenous for his touch that I was panting?
