Page 44 of North
Sierra fell backward on my bed and pressed her hand to her forehead. “I’m gonna pass out in your bed, North.”
“Ooh, shocker,” I laughed. “Well, before you pass out from one fucking drink like a lightweight…thank you for coming over. It means a lot.” She lifted up on her elbows and smiled at me.
“Aww, North. Like I’d miss a chance to visit Telluride.”
“You just came over to see the town? Really, Sierra?”
“Oh god, I came to see you too. Stop bitching.”
“I’m not bitching.” I flipped her off and watched as her heavy lids slid closed.
She wasn’t lying about stealing my bed either. Luckily, I planned on sleeping in Kane’s room so she could have my bed. I looked at her, still fully dressed and slipping deeper into sleep.
I dug through my drawers and found a pair of pajama pants then tugged her stiff jeans off and wiggled her limp, sleep-laden legs into a pair of fuzzy white pants. I was exhausted after putting pants on her so I left her t-shirt on and draped my blanket over her.
Flashbacks of my mother assaulted me. Memories of getting her undressed when she was passed out then putting her into clean pajamas smacked into me. I still smelled the thick ammonia of urine after she had an accident and was too high to clean herself. I still felt piss dampening my palms and the heels of my hand as I shoved cold, stiff clothes into the washing machine. I relived the disgust and pity like Mom was still alive.
I stepped out of my bedroom and closed the door quietly behind me before the sour memories made me cry. I headed down the hall to Kane’s room and sat on his bed, wrestling with the stubborn knot of grief in my throat. I don’t know how long I sat there staring at the wall, trying to piece together the deep feelings of resentment churning at my core.
When Kane came in, my trance was broken. I blinked away stray tears and wiped them from my cheeks. “Hey,” I sniffled, standing to my feet. “Sorry. Sierra fell asleep in my bed.”
“Were you crying?” His thick brows pulled together and his eyes crinkled at the corners. His concern put a match to the remaining composure I had. My lips trembled and my emotions liquefied rolling down my face. In seconds, Kane swept me into his arms, holding all my broken pieces together.
“It’s okay, North. Whatever is weighing you down, you can let it go.” He spoke with his lips nestled against my hair, pouring love into my warped brain.
“I thought I’d moved past crying over Mom. I mean all those sessions with Dr. Allen and all the progress I’ve made feels like nothing. It still hurts like it’s fresh. I don’t want to feel this right now.” Kane sat down on the bed and pulled me into him. He was refuge from the storm.
“Tell me what you want to feel, baby.” His fingers skimmed up and down my spine through my sweater. Lightning followed his touch. “Tell me how to make it better.”
“I want to feelyou,” I told him. I’d never felt so sure and clear about anything in my fucking life. I slid my hand against the side of his face and he nodded before kissing me. His lips worked wonders on my aching soul. He patched together the shredded pieces of my heart and rubbed salve on the places where memories burned me. The spots that had been charred black with pain.
Kane laid me on the bed gently before pressing kisses along my jawline while slipping under my sweater. I loved how his hands felt on my skin. Warm and rough but never jagged or scratchy. They were perfect.
“I love you,” he said with his lips to my throat. My stomach fluttered and my body temperature soared. Those words were more than decoration on a pretty moment. I felt them settle inside my DNA healing whatever fucked up trauma Mom planted there.
A sob caught in my throat but I choked it down because now wasn’t the time for my mother to crash the party. I meant what I said. I didn’t want to be sad over her. I didn’t want to go through those memories and drown under them again.
I wanted to feel free and happy.
I wanted to feel loved and seen.
I wantedKane.
I found his mouth with mine and sucked on his tongue hungrily. He tasted like vodka and heat. My hands discovered perfect muscles beneath his shirt and I traced every dip and divot from memory because for countless nights his body had been my roadmap to salvation.
“I love you too, Kane.” I breathed when my lungs would finally allow it. Lava replaced the blood in my veins when I felt his stiff dick press against me as it had done countless times before. God, I was so hungry for this man.
The way he shoved my legs apart and massaged my clit with his thumb was electrical. Spiky currents surged through my limbs as my back arched toward the ceiling. Kane’s thick long fingers spread me open and dipped inside of me shallow at first then deeper while our tongues danced.
I still needed more.
I needed to feel all of him inside me.
I reached down and gripped his dick through his pants sliding my hand up and down. He pulled back and looked at me with savage need dancing in his irises.
“I want to see you,” I said with lust lingering in my voice.
He stood at the foot of the bed and pulled his shirt off. My eyes ate up every dense muscle. Every inch of perfect skin. I traveled from his sculpted pectorals to his abs then to the devastating V-cut starting at his hips.
