Page 55 of Capacity
“Yeah, she’s a nurse,” I muttered, clenching my jaw tight.
“Then she knows what the fuck she’s talking about. I’m sure she’s seen horror stories and alcohol poisoning. I’m sure she’s seen alcoholics come into the hospital and not leave. I don’t think this is a case where she was nagging you. I think she cares. I think she wants you to succeed.”
Hearing T’s words unearthed all the shit I suppressed deep down. I knew Lumi cared. I knew she wasn’t trying to come down on me but it still felt like an attack.
“I don’t understand why she wouldn’t leave well enough alone. That bottle has been up there for two months and I haven’t touched it.”
“Knight, stop the fucking bullshit.” Terrance stopped shooting the ball and aimed a sharp brown-eyed glare my way. It hit me in the chest and made me feel the sting of regret and embarrassment. “You know why you have that bottle in your cabinet. You don’t want to admit it but you know. I know too.
If it’s still in your house and you’re keeping it there voluntarily, it still has control over you. You still listen to what the bottle says and not what your damn common sense says.”
My heart slammed against my chest after I shot another ball with way too much force for it to go into the basket. “Don’t push away a good girl because you can’t see that you’re still the addict you’re trying to forget.”
“I’mnotan addict anymore. I’m clean.” My mouth flattened into a tight line.
“If you think you’re not an addict anymore then you’re mistaken. Come to the meeting tomorrow and voice it in the circle. I’m not talking to a brick wall today. You need to apologize to Lumi though.”
His words echoed in my head even after I got home. I stared at the Johnnie Walker on the counter for a long time. Thinking. Hearing T’s words. Hearing Lumi’s.
“Fuck!”
Why didn’t they tell me it would be this polarizing when I first walked into that back room inside The Mystic Crystal? They told me it would be hard but not that it would split me down the middle and turn me into two different people with two different schools of thought.
I rubbed my forehead and grabbed a bottle of water even though my taste buds cried out for the sweet heat of whiskey. Water ran down my throat like air. It didn’t carry the bold taste I was craving. When I was done, I crushed the plastic bottle in my hand and dropped it in the recycling bin.
I checked my phone several times to see if Lumi called or texted but she hadn’t. Why would she? I knew she was still pissed off. Hell, I was still pissed off. I couldn’t dwell in it though. I had my first meeting with a couple who wanted me to shoot them. The client’s wife had been in hospice care for two weeks when he stumbled across my page on Facebook. He sent me a message asking to meet before they decided if they really wanted the session.
I was scheduled to arrive at their house in an hour. I’d have to put my complicated thoughts about Lumi and liquor aside until I got back and had time to think.
…
Part Three: The Light
CHAPTER 14
I hated fighting with Knight. I wanted to call him and ask how his meeting went with his first clients yesterday but then I remembered how he kept shifting the point of our conversation and how angry he got. It sent frustration rattling through my bones again.
How could he be so stubborn when I was only trying to help him?
Realization hit my brain like a lightning strike. I shut my eyes and rested my head against the back of my couch with a weighty sigh.
Dammit.
I wet my lips and picked up my phone, scrolling to Coco’s number. I hadn’t talked to her in weeks. Neither of us was budging. Now, I had to though.
I called fully expecting her not to answer. My eyes went wide when she picked up after the second ring.
“Coco, hey,” I said my voice timid and quiet.
“Hey, Lumi. What’s wrong?” Her voice was monotone but I heard the curiosity.
“Nothing. Um…you busy?”
“I’m a nurse. I’m always busy.”
“I know that. I mean right now.” My eyes rolled reflexively even though I was the one who needed to apologize. It was so hard getting over myself that it was easier to let the argument fester. I couldn’t rightfully do that though. Not with Coco. She was too good of a friend. Sisterhood was important to me.
“I’m off,” she said quietly.
