Page 87 of Capacity
“I heard about what happened to Kaiden in the news, Lumi. I didn’t know how to…” I slapped him as hard as I could, splitting the skin at the corner of his mouth. He pressed his tongue against the cut and balled his fist like he was really going to do something, then he looked over at Bear who was busy on his phone, sending a text. Something about the calm demeanor he possessed in the face of such a charged situation told me things weren’t going to end well for Jacob.
“You don’t get to say his name. Youdo notget to say my baby’s name.”
“I’m gonna go because it’s clear you’re not ready to talk. You still live in the same house? I’ll stop by when you’ve calmed down.”
“Fuck you.” I spat the words at his feet before turning away. I couldn’t stand his face.
Bear looked up from his phone and gave me an out of place smile then placed his hand on my back and opened the car door for me. I got in and watched Jacob hurry to the car and wondered what lies he’d spew to his wife about me. I wondered if he even told her about Kaiden. Clearly, he knew about our son if he dared use his name.
“Would you ever wish death on him?” Bear quizzed as he clicked his seatbelt in place. I met his copper eyes in the rearview mirror and swallowed a lump. The question seemed deceivingly philosophical.
“As much as I hate him…no, I wouldn’t. I do wish someone would knock some fucking sense and compassion into him though,” I huffed.
“I can understand that,” he nodded before starting the engine. Jacob’s car pulled off quickly and we pulled off directly after. When we drove out of the garage, an all-black car with mirrored tinted windows pulled alongside us, rolling the driver’s side window down.
“Gray Benz. Headed east,” Bear said to the guy in the car. He was a striking man with high cheekbones and silky jet-black hair in two braids. He had dusky brown skin and eyes as dark as night.
“Vacation time?” The guy asked.
“Nah. Don’t send him on vacation.”
“Got it,” he nodded.
“I’ll be at the house. Ivy there with the kids?” Bear quizzed.
“Yeah. They just ate.”
“Cool. Thanks, Shadow.”
With that, the black car rolled up the windows and pulled off. Something told me that my refusal to wish death on Jacob just saved his life and I didn’t know if I was happy about that or not.
I didn’t dare ask Bear any questions. Cecily sat beside her husband like he’d just pulled up to a drive-thru window and ordered food instead of something far more insidious.
“Lumi, you sure you want to be alone right now? You can come to the house with Cecily and me. We have a home here in Dallas. You’re welcome to spend the night or whatever you need.”
“No, I’m fine, Bear. I can’t thank you enough. I just want to be alone.” He didn’t bother me about it and neither did Cecily. We rode back to the hotel in silence. When we arrived, Cecily got out to walk me in while Bear stayed put. I made sure to hug him and thank him. I didn’t know what to thank him for but I felt like I needed the silent strength he offered. He seemed to understand without my words.
“Lumi, I am so sorry you had to go through that today.”
“Thank you, Cecily. I’m sorry you even had to witness any of that.” I was drained. There wasn’t an ounce of energy left inside of me. I fell to the couch in the sitting room and kicked off my shoes.
“You don’t have anything to apologize for.” She sighed and wrapped her arms around me in a hug. I wanted to pull strength from it but I couldn’t. I was empty. “Why don’t you have dinner with me and Bear tonight? Our friends Ivy and Titan are here with us and…”
“No thank you, Cecily. I want to be alone with my thoughts right now.” I knew she meant well but I couldn’t be around people. I wanted my bed. My house. The safety of my four walls.
I hated seeing the dejected look on her face but right then I couldn’t do anything about it. “Okay but will you please call me if you change your mind? My number is the same.”
“I will.” I didn’t even get off the couch to walk her to the door. I was underwater. In a daze. Spent.
I don’t know how much time passed while I sat on the couch staring at nothing but when I climbed out of the haze, I wanted to go home immediately. I felt sick to my stomach.
Visions of Jacob’s little boy kept running through my head like a cruel joke. I wanted to pour bleach in my brain and blank everything out. It was too painful.
I moved to the bedroom and packed all my things then found an earlier flight back to Connecticut for later tonight. Even Texas wasn’t big enough for me and Jacob to coexist. I put my phone on airplane mode and drowned myself in mournful tears until it was time for me to go to the airport.
…
CHAPTER 19
