Page 90 of Capacity
I ran my uninjured hand through his hair then bent down to kiss the top of his head. He smelled like shampoo. My eyes dropped shut and a few lone tears leaked through.
“To know I could have lost you today…to know my entire life would have crashed and burned…” He shook his head against me and dug his fingers into my skin deeper.
“I’m right here, Knight. I didn’t go through with it.”
“Don’t ever fucking go through with it.” He pulled back and held my hands in his then kissed my scars one at a time. He kissed me through the blood, taking his time to make sure I felt every intention he had. “I’m here to kiss your scars so that you know how beautiful they make you. Remember? I can’t do that if you’re not here, Lumi. That’s a part of it. You have to fuckingbehere.”
I sank to the floor with him and tugged on his collar until his handsome face was level with mine then I put my forehead against his. “I’m here,” I said with a stronger voice than the last time I spoke. He nodded then kissed my lips.
His kisses were sweet, desperate prayers begging me to stay with him. I searched my mind for the small voice of despair that always sounded in my brain and told me how much easier life would be if I were dead. I didn’t hear it. It wasn’t beating through the background of my thoughts like it usually did. Like a deep bass drum you never realize is there until it isn’t.
Knight stared down at my hand and his brows furled together. “Let me clean you up, Lumi.” My blood was smeared on his shirt and his smooth skin like exclamation points shouting the loudest parts of our love that we were keeping quiet.
I sat on the bathroom floor and cried silently while Knight washed my hand and bandaged it up gingerly. His touch was feather-light and so sweet.
“Thank you,” I said through dry lips with a hoarse voice. My hand throbbed from being wrapped and I knew I’d have more light scars from gripping the shard of glass so hard. My skin was freckled with tragedy and struggle.
Knight led me to the bedroom then cleaned up the bathroom in deafening silence. I heard every broom stroke against the floor and every crunch of glass as it rolled under his shoes.
How could I not love that man? He was my person. We called on each other when we hit rock bottom because we knew there was nobody else who could reach into the belly of the abyss and yank us out. He was my anchor.
“Lumi,” he said from the bathroom doorway. “I ran you a hot bath, come get in.”
“Get in with me,” I said before removing my shirt. He nodded and we undressed in front of each other. Each article of clothing that fell revealed us in more ways than one. We weren’t just free of clothes. We were free of facades. We were free of barriers and comforting lies.
We were truly naked.
When I sank into the hot water, it felt like my pain was melting away. When he climbed in with me, it felt like we were creating oceans between who we used to be and who we were becoming.
I wanted to be on top of him. I wanted to absorb the feel of his warmth against me and kiss his lips while I let the events of my hectic day drown. So, I climbed on top of him once he was settled and I peered down into his eyes. His beautiful gemstone eyes.
“I need to tell you something,” he said circling my waist with his hands.
“I’m listening.” My wet fingers sifted through his corn silk strands.
“I’m in love with you, Lumi. I’m past the point of return. I thought I couldn’t love another woman after Hazel. I thought my heart and soul didn’t have the capacity to love as truly and as deeply as I did with her but…” he shook his head and dotted my throat with quiet kisses. “The way I feel about you is the strongest I’ve ever felt about anyone.” He cupped my face in his hands, running his thumbs along my cheekbones. Rivulets of water skated down my skin. “I love you, Lumi Foster.”
My lips trembled with the force of his declaration. I buried my face in the crook of his neck. “I love you too, Knight. I love you so fucking much.”
“I know you do because you would’ve gone through with it if you didn’t.”
Our words turned still and quiet but our bodies spoke loud and clear. My lips on his and his tongue dancing against mine. Sweeping, probing, and possessing. His dick turned rigid beneath me in seconds and my hips drew circles under the water, grinding down on him. I was a hungry, needy thing and the only one who could satiate me was Knight.
“I need to feel you inside of me,” I said, angling his cock against my entrance. I was empty and I needed to connect to Knight. I needed him to pour into me not only physically but spiritually. I moved on top of him slowly, feeling his thickness stretch me.
Water sloshed against the side of the tub as my pace picked up. Knight shut his eyes and held onto my hips while I rode him. His deep groans let me know I was giving him what he needed too.
“I love you,” I sniffled, letting the tears fall freely. My body clenched around him as lightning sizzled at my core spitting out bolts of fire.
“I love you too, Lumi.” He dug in deeper and forced moans from my mouth like sugar rain. “Fuck, you feel so good.” He showered kisses all over my throat and chest. “Please don’t ever leave me.”
“Never,” I whispered against the top of his head.
Making love to him right then was less about the physical and more about everything else. It was about shedding pain and finding something deeper to grab hold of when I felt like I would float away.
Our bodies pressed together until our hearts kissed and our breathing turned into one chorus. The agony pressed against my ribs finally broke free dissolving in the hot water.
Knight pressed into me harder. Driving his dick deep. I felt every emotion he was trying to convey. All the love and concern. All the fear and relief. Making love to him was therapy. It was Sunday service for my weary spirit and I left every single burden right there in the water.
