Page 18 of Devanté
Alone…
That’s how I’d always be. I had no friends. Not anymore.
When I reached my apartment, I rushed inside, slamming the door behind me, making sure to lock it and put the chain on. It was a good thing too because when I fell onto the couch, ready to finally let my tears roll, Devanté tried the door with his key.
The door opened a sliver. Just enough for me to see a slice of his midnight dark skin and a hint of his eye. I stared at him like that for a few tense beats.
“Come on, Blake. Open the door.”
“No.”
“I didn’t have shit to do with that…whatever it was Gabi did. An intervention for eating? You really think I’d be a part of something like that?”
“I don’t know, Devanté. You’ve been up her ass for damn near a month straight. She’s your girlfriend, right? Why should I believe anything you say?” I stood from the couch with my arms folded, walking to the door.
“You know me.”
“Not. Any. More.”
“Blake…come on.” He begged on the other side of the door.
“Did you have anything to do with that shit that happened?” I asked flat out.
“Yeah, but not what you’re…”
“That’s all I needed to hear.”
“No. Blake not that shit she did. I just…”
I was done listening to him. “Drop your key through the crack. I don’t want you to walk into my apartment whenever you want to. We’re done, Devanté.”
“What?” Disbelief saturated his deep voice. “Done? Nah. You’re my best friend since third grade. We’re not done. This was a misunderstanding.”
“I don’t want to hear your voice anymore! Just…drop your fucking key.” The longer I listened to his voice, the more I wanted to believe him. The more the stupid soft parts of me wanted to bend for him. To let him into me like he was before. He used to be a part of me but now, I didn’t know him.
“Okay, if I drop the key will you listen to me?” I heard him rustling around in his pocket then there was the soft jangling of keys. I watched the silver metal catch the light in the hallway then I saw Devanté’s fingers push the key through the crack in the door. The key fell to the carpet and I bent down to pick it up. The depth of what holding that key in my palm stung me in places I didn’t know I had. Deep places. Places that made me wince.
Private heartfelt places that I’d only allowed Devanté to access…even if he never knew.
“Can you please listen to me now?” He asked, his voice turning desperate. I pushed the door closed and pressed my back to it. “Blake,” he called out softly.
“Go away, Devanté. Go be with Gabi.” I held my breath listening for his footsteps to fade away but they never did.
“Blake.” My name fell from his lips again. “You still there? Can you please hear me out?” He pulled in a breath. I didn’t say a word but my greedy ears listened. “Please? I know this seems fucked up but it’s all a big misunderstanding.” I was tired of hearing that word already. “I just want to make it right because I can’t lose you. If you just open the door, I can tell you what really happened. I can tell you how I feel.”
Silence.
It dragged on for several beats.
“Blake, I love you. Not like…not like a friend loves a friend. It’s more than that and you feel it too.” His words struck me in a way I wasn’t expecting.
“Liar. You fucking liar!” I shouted, sliding down the door until I was sitting on the floor with my knees pressed against my chest. Hopefully, it would keep my foolish heart locked inside where it couldn’t fall out and crawl to Devanté like it wanted to.
I had to stay strong. What if this was more of the plot? What if this was the ultimate humiliation from Gabi? I didn’t know who or what to trust but everything felt stretched out of place.
“I’m not lying, Blake. Please. Let me in so we can talk.”
“No. And how fucking dare you try to exploit our friendship by telling me that you love me? We both know that could never be true.”
