Page 62 of Devanté
I shouted it into the air as if the ceiling was my diary. I shouted his name until it painted the walls and polished the surfaces. Until it melted from my lips because the air was too humid and dense to carry soundwaves.
“I’m about to come,” I moaned, my lips trembling.
“Wet this dick up, Blake.” He leaned down and sucked on my lips until my body unraveled for him. My thighs squeezed, pressing him deeper when I thought he ran out of dick.
I was wrong.
It felt never-ending. Like it would scrape the edges of my soul. Before I knew it, tears were rolling down my cheeks, slicking my skin. Devanté’s warm tongue chased the salty rivulets down to my jawline while he growled with more powerful thrusts.
It wasn’t long before he exploded inside of me and I felt my mind drift to the image of little brown babies with chubby cheeks, kinky, coiled hair, and dark eyes. I was seriously thinking about giving him babies. We’d only had sex twice. I was losing my mind.
After my heart rate returned to normal and the dew dried on my skin, I laid next to my best friend and let my eyes fall shut. I felt safe enough to sleep. Safe enough to let my guard down.
“Blake! I know goddamn well you and Mr. Model didn’t fuck in my house!” I sat up bolt right in bed. Devin’s deep voice and incessant banging on the door snapped me out of the sleep I was slipping into.
Devanté put his hand on my bare chest, halting me then climbed out of bed. I watched his powerful shoulders flex beneath the fabric of his silken midnight skin. In a few long strides, he was at the bedroom door, his boxer briefs slung low on his narrow hips.
“What is your problem, man?” His voice was ripe with frustration.
“You! You’re my problem. How the hell do you think you can come up in my house and fuck my woman?”
“She’s not yours. Never was. Now, unless you want me to knock your fucking teeth out, go back downstairs.”
“Blake you better get this pretty motherfucker.”
“Yeah, I got your pretty motherfucker right here.”
Their deep voices tangled together, bound by testosterone and anger. I rubbed my forehead with the heel of my hand and got out of bed grabbing the first shirt my hand came in contact with.
I wedged myself between two tall columns of rage and stretched my arms out. “Stop it!” My voice burst forth from my mouth rendering both men quiet. “I’m tired,” I said. It was true in more ways than one. I was physically tired from fucking Devanté all night and part of the morning. I was mentally tired from the tug of war I put myself through thinking about Devin and Kenzie. I was emotionally tired after accepting I was in love with my best friend.
“Devin, we’re done. There’s no fixing this. You’re just dragging out the inevitable because you’re a dick.” I looked at Devanté and said, “I love you but we’re not kids anymore. I can defend myself, Jodeci.” Anger was busy tugging his thick brows together but he nodded and stepped back.
I pushed Devin into the hallway and fixed my hands to my hips. “Do you see why I told you to leave, Devin? You wouldn’t have to know anything about Devanté. Now your feelings are hurt.”
“Fuck you, Blake. You must have been cheating on me. You can’t just call up Devanté fucking Morgan for dick if you haven’t been out here fucking around on me the whole time.” Devin took a step toward me but I didn’t back down. His scare tactics didn’t work on me.
“If you want to believe that to assuage your guilt for bringing Kenzie into my house and fucking her on my bed, then who am I to stop you? You know damn well before tonight, I’ve never cheated on you.”
“I don’t know shit anymore. You’re not who I thought you were, Blake.” He shook his head at me like I was the offender. Whatever. He could have his thoughts. It didn’t stop our relationship from being over.
“You mean I’m not the fat pushover you thought you could mooch off of without consequence? No, that’s not me. I’m sorry our wires got crossed somewhere along the line.” My heart was pounding relentlessly against my chest but it wasn’t because I was angry or scared. It was because I was standing up for myself.
I was letting him know that I was worthy and he didn’t determine how I saw myself. I was cutting off the dead ends and letting growth flourish. It was exhilarating.
“Listen,” Devin said, closing his hand over his mouth and nose. “Isn’t there some way we can work things out? I can overlook you opening your legs for Devanté and you can overlook what happened between me and Kenzie. We can get back to us.” He reached for my hand but I pulled back.
“We don’t have anything to get back to. There’s nothing you can say that would make me want to be with you. I’m not in love with you like I thought I was. I’ve known it for a long time. I was just too scared to let go. That’s my fault.”
“Oh, so now that you have another man and you’ve proved that someone else will stick their dick in you…you’re ready to let go of us?”
“Oh, you misunderstood me,” I scoffed. “I wasn’t scared of letting go because I didn’t think I’d find someone to replace you. I was scared of letting go because it meant I’d have to admit I made a fatuous mistake in deciding to waste a year with you. You’re replaceable.” If only he knew how badly I wanted to quote and belt Beyonce’sIrreplaceablewhile shoving him and his shit out the front door.
“Yeah, whatever, Blake. I’m the best thing that ever happened to you.” He took pride in being so stupid. It was astonishing to watch someone steep themselves in ignorance.
I was just glad I decided to stop our relationship before it got out of hand and I spent any more of my precious time trying to piece together something broken in a million different places. It was time for Devin to go and if he wanted to play the waiting game for four weeks…fine. He’d be relegated to the couch and I would bide my time after I served him with official eviction papers.
…
