Page 33 of His Highland Duchess
“Would you like a drink?” he asked as he stepped around her, making for the drinks cabinet in the corner of the room.
She would have liked one, yes. If for no other reason than to calm her nerves. But Margaret assessed the situation, that she and the duke were alone, never a good start in her experience. He was standing back from her, but his presence was indomitable and commanding. It was as if he had brought her here so that he could use it to his own will, giving her a chance to argue, knowing that at the end of the day, his word was law.And oh, I how relish his firm hand…No. Alcohol would only dim her senses, and who knew what she would say and do then?
“I am fine, thank ye.”
“As you wish.” He poured himself what looked like whiskey in silence, letting the tension build.
Margaret frowned as she studied him, her heart gently quickening in pace. There was something different about him, although she could not say what it was. He was still stern. He was still commanding. His presence was as powerful as ever. But it was not overwhelming, nor did she sense he was trying to intimidate her with it. Rather, he was relaxed, and this in turn saw her do the same.
If only a little… her heart was still beating, her mind unable to stop going back to the last time they were alone like this.I must be on me guard, careful nae to say the wrong thing. If I do that…a shudder ran through her body, one that excited her. Even if she wished that were not the case.
“I needed that,” he chuckled as he took a large sip of his drink and then set down the glass.
“Long day?”
“Long week,” he corrected, although he did so with a smile that he held on her. It reached his eyes, and Margaret’s stomach flipped. “There is something we need to discuss,” he said finally.
“Y–yes,” she said. “You said that.”
He approached her. She stiffened, but he stopped several feet back. Then he studied her for a moment, his deep brow furrowed as he considered what to say. She could see the argument raging behind his eyes, a fight within himself. Although he had said that he had been looking for her these last two days, she wonderednow if he had been the one avoiding her. At least until he could decide upon whatever this was.
“I think I owe you an apology.”
The confession startled Margaret. Enough that she was certain she’d misheard. She looked at him, waiting for the follow-up. He gave none, his expression sincere and open.
“Oh…” She blinked. “You… I am sorry?”
“That’s what I said.”
“Nae…” She gave her head a small shake. “My meaning is… well, what is yer meaning? Ye wish to apologize?”
“I do,” he sighed and then exhaled. “No doubt this comes as a surprise – likely the last thing you were expecting.”
“I did nae ken ye understood the meaning of the word,” she laughed awkwardly.
“It is rare for me, but not uncommon. Although how awkward I am being might suggest otherwise.” He laughed softly, met her eyes a moment, and then looked away.Yes, very awkward.
“And this apology pertains to…” she began.
“Right. Yes.” He straightened up and fixed his stare on her, serious now, a sense that this right here was why he was acting so strangely. “When you first came to this house – before that, really. This marriage. Since it began, I have been treating you as if it were your doing, as if I were the one who had been treated unfairly. I have not considered, nor did I care to, your own feelings and how this most strange and sudden circumstance has likely affected you.”
“Oh…” She blinked again, caught completely by surprise. “That is… thank ye?”
He nodded once. “More than that, I have treated you as an imposition. Worse than that, a problem. Commanding that you behave yourself as if you were a stray cat. Refusing to allow you to spend time with my daughters. Changing my mind suddenly, only to change it back. I cannot imagine the confusion this has created for you, of which I am the chief instigator. None of this is your fault, you have done nothing wrong, and it is time that I…” He shook his head at himself. “It is time that I begin to realize it.”
“I… I do nae ken what to say.” She truly didn’t.
“I do not want you to feel alone in this home–your home,” he continued, his voice turning soft, his eyes turning regretful. “I do not want you to walk on eggshells, afraid that one wrong thing done or said might see me lose my temper. And most of all, I do not want you to spend the rest of the Season existing in a state of uncertainty, worried you are doing the wrong thing, feeling a need to act out to prove your independence, not knowing what tomorrow might bring. This is your home, as much as it ismine. And…” He exhaled further; relief was evident on his face at having come to the end of his piece. “And you should act accordingly. Whatever or however that might look like.”
Margaret stood frozen, her mouth half hanging open, her expression one of bewilderment, her mind railing against this apology as it was so sudden and unexpected that she could not say how she felt about it. Or if it was even real.
Where did this come from? What does he expect of me? And what shuid I say?!
She ran through the apology in her head, ignoring the probing eyes of the duke. Biting her lip, she considered what he said the best she could. It was an apology well overdue, to be honest. The right one, but no less confusing because of it. It would have been better if he’d said this to her a week ago, before all the confusion had set in.
“I… I do nae ken what to say.”
“You do not have to say anything,” he said quickly. “Just understand that I was wrong. I have seen how you treat the girls. I have seen how they adore you. And where I find some of your antics a little…” He chuckled. “Odd for my liking, there is no doubt that you are not the agent of chaos I originally presumed.”
