Page 42 of His Highland Duchess
“She does not feel that way for me, I assure you.”
He scoffed. “Is that what you think?”
He winced. “It is not as simple as that.”
“It almost never is.”
Lysander meant to argue further. To put his foot down and tell his friend to mind his own damn business! Only before he got the chance, he felt himself begin to break. This was not him. He did not care – he was never meant to! But for reasons he had yet to fathom, Margaret was taking hold of him and his emotions so that he was acting in ways that made him almost unrecognizable.
“I don’t know what has become of me.” Lysander’s shoulders slumped, and he slunk down on the couch. “I have never felt this way before, Julian. I have never wanted to. It is as if a… a demon has possessed me, forcing me to act in ways I do not understand.”
“It sounds like love.”
“No,” Lysander said firmly. “It is notthat.”
And that was the truth. This was not above love, but lust. Raw attraction that had Lysander acting like a jealous teenager, so that all he could think about was Margaret and how much he wanted her. And just the thought that she might not want him or might want another… it made him ill.
Julian scoffed. “As you say. But only you could turn such a simple thing as this into a point of absolute complexity. You are overthinking it, Lysander. You are letting it get to you.”
“I am aware,” he said dryly.
“Do you want my advice?”
“I don’t,” he said with a sigh. “Although I know that I need it.”
“Ha!” Julian finished his glass of whiskey, rose from the couch, and walked to the liquor cabinet. “I might not know a lot about women, but I know this. The smallest arguments are like snowballs rolling down the side of a mountain. Left to their own devices, they have a tendency to escalate, and before you know it, you have an avalanche coming for you.”
“Speak clearly, please,” Lysander sighed.
“Go and talk to her,” Julian said as he poured a drink. “You are confused? You are unsure? Learn why and be done with it. And most of all…” He looked right at Lysander. “No matter what she says, you are in the wrong, even if you are not.” He laughed. “Truly, an apology made early will save you a headache in thefuture. And who knows…” He took a sip and smacked his lips. “Perhaps you might even come out the other side having learned something.”
Lysander sighed again, his stomach still turning, although now it was with nerves. He knew his friend was right and that he would need to speak with Margaret. Not just about what happened today, but about everything. Confusion still hovered between them and until it was cleared up fully, he would never be comfortable.
“What are you going to do?” Lysander said as he rose from his chair and started across the room, committing himself to seeking out Margaret now, before it was too late.
“Me?” Julian shrugged and then winked. “I will find a way to busy myself, worry not.” He raised his glass. “This whiskey, for example. I might finish the bottle.”
Lysander shook his head but smiled for his friend, glad that at the end of the day, he had someone who cared about him like this in his life.
And then he strode from the room, brimming now with a sense of determination. He and Margaret had come a long way in the past day, further, truly, than he’d thought was possible. But it wasn’t enough, and it wouldn’t be until all that had been left unsaid was finally brought into the open.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Margaret was furious as she stormed from the manor and through the back garden. Thanks to the way that Lysander had just treated her, she was literally shaking with anger.
I just dinnae understand him! One minute he cannae keep his hands off me and I ken how much he wants me. The next, he dismisses me as if I am nothing, as if he is embarrassed by me.
Again, she could not help but feel that same lack of control that had existed since this marriage began. She had no agency. No sense of place. Worse still, it was not entirely Lysander’s fault.
What did Margaret want? She wanted Lysander, plain and simple. Last night still sat firmly in her mind, and it made her body quiver even now, hours after the fact. His lips on hers. His tongue down her throat. And his fingers…oh, those fingers!But was that where it ended? Was that all this marriage would ever be? She had no idea. Nor did she know if she wanted it to go beyond this.
It was raining as she left the manor, but she did not care. Although to call it rain felt like an understatement. The winds howled and gusted, making it hard to walk. The rain was sharp and cutting, and she was forced to cover her face, but still it stung her eyes. Lighting cracked through the sky. Thunder rumbled.Perhaps coming out here was nae such a good idea.
She was upset, however, which is why she had chosen to exit the house and make for the stables. Needing to improve her mood, she figured that a few minutes playing with Spotty would cure her. Plus, she did not like the idea of the poor little puppy being alone as the storm howled above.
When she reached the stable, she realized immediately that something was wrong. The stall where Spotty was being kept was open, and her stomach sank and then dropped out completely even before she came upon the empty stall.Oh nae…
Spotty was gone.
