Page 87 of Love on the Rocks
“It was just never the right time. Then it was too late.” I pulled my wallet out and laid the bills on the table, staring at them numbly. “Don’t get your hopes up, though. I told you it’s over with Nathalie.”
I stood, ignoring the questions in her eyes, and scooped up her small suitcase. The last thing I wanted was for her to know about the silly pranks I’d pulled on Callie, but as we made our way over the hill, I found myself confessing all of it. As expected, she wasn’t pleased.
“Oh, Niko. I’m amazed that she was willing to forgive you. She must have a big heart.”
“Or else she couldn’t resist my charm.” I tried to joke, but it fell flat. There was nothing funny about what had just happened. I hated myself for not having the courage to tell her about Nathalie. It had been selfish of me to keep the truth from her for so long.
“I doubt that. You’re many things, my boy, but charming is not one of them.” We stopped outside my door, and she brought her hand to my cheek, rubbing her thumb over my scruff. “You really like this girl?”
“Yeah, Ma. I’m in love with her.” As soon as I said the words aloud, I knew they were true.
“Tell her then.”
“I’m not sure she’ll believe me. I haven’t exactly given her many reasons to trust me.”
“It’s never too late. Be honest with her.”
Honest. What did that even mean? If I was completely honest with her, I might scare her away. If I was completely honest, I’d tell her that she’d become my one obsession since she first stepped foot on the island in those ridiculously unsuitable shoes. That she was the first thing I thought about in the morning and the last image in my head at night. That I wasn’t joking when I called herasteri moubecause my life was brighter with her in it. That I was ready to abandon my promises to my grandfather just to have her stay for another year, another month, another day. And most of all, that she’d realize I wasn’t good enough for her.
After getting my mother settled, I made my way over to Callie’s. All the lights were out, except for the bedroom.
I knocked on the door but there was no answer.
Undeterred, I hopped the wall onto her bedroom patio and tapped on the window. “I know you’re in there, Callie. Can we please talk?”
No response.
“Look, I know how this seems.” I sucked in a breath, knowing what she needed to hear from me. It was past time I admitted it. “I didn’t mean to lie to you. I’m sorry. Will you just let me explain?”
“I think you’ve said enough.” Her muffled voice came through the window. “Please leave me alone.”
“No. I don’t want you thinking the worst of me again.”
She jerked the French doors open and stepped outside. I’d never seen her look so coldly furious, and that was saying something considering all the other shit I’d pulled on her.
She crossed her arms. “Go ahead, explain. I know how stubborn you can be. And I really don’t want to think about you at all after this.”
“Yes, I’m technically still married, but it’s been over for three years. We just hadn’t gotten around to finalizing a divorce because her father is running for senate, and they’re catholic, and it would look bad . . .” I was babbling, couldn’t help myself. Everything I said just seemed to make it worse. “I was going to tell you about Nathalie, dozens of times. It just never seemed like the right moment.”
“Oh, no? In all the nights we spent together, you couldn’t have said ‘by the way, I’m married’? Because your mother was quick to drop that bomb. She must think there’s a chance of you getting back together.”
“There isn’t. In fact, I called Nathalie last week to see where we stood on the divorce papers. It’s complicated . . .”
She held up her hand and her lips pressed in a thin line. “That’s what they always say. I don’t want to hear excuses. I had the right to make the decision to sleep with a married man or not. You didn’t respect me enough to tell me.”
“Well, the first couple times, I don’t really think either of us were thinking clearly. At least, I wasn’t.”
“Why didn’t you tell me after that?”
“I was afraid you wouldn’t trust me.”
She let out a hysterical laugh. “Well, guess what? Now I definitely don’t trust you. I should have listened to that voice in my head that said you were hiding something. Iknewit. This was all a game to you.”
“Oh, come on, you know me better than that. This isn’t a game to me! I didn’t want to ruin what we had.” I wanted to take her into my arms and kiss her, make her kiss me back. I was ready to get on my knees, but she was already closing the door.
“No, I’m done listening to you right now. I need to think. Please, just at least respect my wishes.” Her voice quavered. She sounded as defeated as I felt and knew that she was in no place to listen to my arguments tonight. Even though I was desperateto touch her, to make her understand why I’d lied to her, I backed away.
“I’m coming back tomorrow,” I warned as she closed the door in my face and left me out in the dark.
