Page 27 of Violet Moon
“Seem to.”Parisa pointed with her glass before she took a big swig from her drink.“I seem to have it together.”
Sera turned towards her, a hint of concern etched in her features.This was far too open and honest for Parisa, even with the joking tone.
Parisa had her head propped up on her hand, and her other arm rested on the back of the sofa.“Don’t look so surprised.I’m all over the place as much as anyone.”
“No, you’re not!”Sera’s volume surprised her.She scooted back towards the faded fabric arm of the sofa to face Parisa fully.“Please don’t talk about yourself that way.It’s based on nothing.”
“I think that’s the most formal way anyone’s ever told me I'm full of it.You included.”
“I’m just surprised.You don’t normally say things like that.”
“Must be my age creeping up on me.I’m getting soft.”
The way she said it with a bite in her tone didn’t sit right with Sera.“Is that a bad thing?”
“For an Alpha?Absolutely.Without a doubt.It’s a terrible thing to go soft.”
“There’s more than one way to lead.When we talk like this, you’re way more relaxed, but with the pack you are, while still every bit as wonderful, maybe a bit —” She let her voice trail off.
Parisa finished the thought, “Authoritative?Dominant?Intimidating?Yes, that’s all on purpose.”
“Have you ever considered letting them see this side?”
“Never.”
“Why?”
“You should know better, Seraphine, honestly.”
At the sound of her full name, Sera knew she’d stepped on a minefield.She felt Parisa’s Alpha walls being rebuilt at an alarming rate.
“There are few spaces where I can let my guard down.So few.Perhaps only here, with you, in this tiny bit of time between when we sleep and rise to another busy schedule.I try to allow myself this one outlet, but sometimes I think this is wrong, too.”
“What do you mean?”Sera’s chest tightened.
“Alphas and Betas are partners, yes, but there is a hierarchy that must be maintained.Perhaps I’ve let the line blur too much.I don’t act this way with Wilma, after all.Only you.”Parisa glanced away, fingers curled tightly around her glass.“And Clyde doesn’t act this way with Gabriel.”
Sera felt the chasm between them widening even further and wished desperately that she hadn’t opened her mouth.“You deserve a chance to let loose once in a while.”
“Once in a while,” Parisa repeated.“Not every day.The pack watches us, you know.They see how we interact.I don’t try to hide anything because I thought there was nothing to hide, but it eats away at my authority.”
“How?”Sera sputtered, not believing what she was hearing.“What made you even think that?”
“It’s how they approach you, Seraphine.Approach me.Our pack speaks with me differently than, say, Clyde and his pack.”
“Isn’t that what you wanted?A pack that didn’t rest on outdated traditions?”
“Traditions matter!And so do rules.There are rules that are etched into our bones the moment we first transform.”Parisa raised her voice.“There are things we can control and there are things that are unchangeable, no matter how much we might want to change them.”
“What are you talking about?”Sera matched the ferocity in her tone.
“See!This is what I mean.I want you to feel able to approach me with things, but this?This questioning isn’t right.I am the Alpha of this pack.Period.By definition my word is law.”
“And that’s not been in question!”
“Hasn’t it been?I’m the one chipping away at it the most.I let my guard down.I ask for opinions and feedback.I sit here and rest with a drink in my hand while my strength fades and my weaknesses show.”
“This is weakness to you?”
