Page 38 of Emerald Moon
That was fast.Apparently they weren’t even starting with pretend pleasantries this time.”Yeah, I’m bringing a friend.”Jo wanted to use the word girlfriend, but they couldn’t summon the courage.
”We’ll have to rearrange all the seating arrangements at the tables.”
“Sorry?”Just because they didn’t have the courage to say the word girlfriend didn’t mean they couldn’t gather enough spite to add a little bite to their tone.Knowing Cass was going to be there already made them feel a little more able to be themselves around their mother.
”I hope you’re not trying to steal attention from your sister.It’s her day, not yours.”
”I promise I don’t want any attention on me at all.”
”What, with all your little choices on parade and you bringing a friend.”She said the last word with a sharp bite.
Jo laughed, the sound dark and joyless.“What exactly is ‘on parade’ here?”
”People talk, Jolene.”
”And what does that have to do with me?”
”Did you get your dress fitted?”She asked, changing the subject, but what she had just said lingered.
”Yes.”Jo sighed.
Her mother went on and one with more of the same.Jo’s blood boiled.Everything was about the wedding and their mother’s weird notion that Jo was hellbent on sabotaging the entire thing.The call went on far longer than it needed to, much longer than Jo could handle, but when the conversation, if they could call it that, came back around to their mother’s favorite topic — how Jo is wasting their time at the bakery — they’d finally had enough.
”I’ve got to go to work soon,” Jo lied.
”You need a career, Jolene, not just something that pays you a little bit of spending money.You need to save.Buy a house one day for a family.”
“What if I don’t want all that?”
”You will.Just don’t wait too long.”
”I really have to go.”
”Of course, sweetie.Take some time to think about what I’ve said, alright?”
Jo agreed, knowing they’d think about it regardless of whether or not they wanted to, and hung up.
Jo felt the tingling in their body telling them the wolf was closer to the surface now than before.Their vision sharpened, they could smell the rich soil and pine trees surrounding the pack house, and every bird call sounded as though it were inside their own head.Jo felt hot all over.Their heart was an unsteady drum in their chest.
Fighting it, Jo closed their eyes and tried to calmly breathe their way through it, but the wolf scratched their way closer to being free.Frustrated, they gave up on trying to breathe and, instead, tried to think about enough happy things that it’d erase the emotional garbage that had just been dumped into their brain.
Wil came to mind first — painting on the floor together in their room.Laughing with Krista as they discussed the potential of rivals to lovers in their favorite sports anime.Talking with Cass by the river on their first hike.Learning about birds as Cass’ entire face lit up.
The tingling subsided.Their racing heart began to return to a steady rhythm.
Baking macarons and sharing them with their pack.Bickering with Harry over what to watch on TV.Sitting with Beta Seraphine and feeling like they finally had a big sister.Hiking with Alpha Parisa and being reminded that they were an important part of the pack.Singing Dolly Parton songs in the car as Cass listened intently to the lyrics because it was significant to Jo.
Jo stared at their hands.The tingling was gone.Their wolf hadn’t won.Jo had.
”Oh my god,” they said.“I did it.”They’d managed to keep the wolf at bay a handful of times before, but never this decisively.
Jo ran the rest of the way to the pack house, ready to tell anyone who would listen.
twelve
Theapproachingfullmoontriggered a restless humming throughout Jo’s body.For other wolves it was a good feeling, but for Jo it was a mix of excitement and dread.They wished they didn’t need the pack’s help to come back, and they also wished they could remember any of the good times after shifting.Jo knew that there was a point during the full moon when no werewolves maintained their memories of what they did, but most of the pack could remember before and after that point where the wolf completely took over.They remembered being a pack and running together.Jo only remembered the fear and pain of coming back.
Jo had already tried lying in bed, watching anime, and agonizing over the feeling while petting Dolly and, when all that failed to work, they went back to the bakery.
