Page 39 of The Scandalous Deal of the Scarred Lady
It was everything the coming out ball had been, but more. The looks were more brazen and just as unfriendly. The confusion with which many gazes turned upon the Duke bespoke of what this outing must cost him, he could afford too little censure at such a time when it was crucial that he rebuild his fortune.
Helena wavered on her feet, wondering if she would faint.What have I done? Have I been so selfish as to ruin this man for my own pleasure?
Chapter 24
The spell did not last long although it seemed like forever. It was a young man who came forward, his expression curious and without animosity.
“Your Grace, it is ever a delight to see you.” Bravely he came forward to clasp the Duke of Durham’s hand as though there were nothing amiss. His action broke the spell, a quiet murmur rising up around them, but lacking the gaiety. There was a harshness to the whispers spoken behind the fans of the ladies present.
Helena found herself drawing nearer the Duke who tucked her hand in the crook of his elbow again as though it were the most natural thing in the world to do and with a bow introduced his friend though the title flew over Helena’s head, the name vague in her ears. Barton or Marwood or some such.
She curtseyed when Phoebe did, murmuring how it was a pleasure to meet him, all the while wanting nothing more than to turn and run. But the Duke held her hand fast and so it was she had no recourse but to see this through, moving with relief when he did, as he led them into a long hall with many doors and a handful of other theatre patrons likewise seeking out their seats.
“Hold your head high. Remember you are better than they are, My Lady,” he advised so softly she was unsure whether she even heard him correctly.
Helena gave him a startled glance but did as he bid, forcing a smile upon lips that felt cold and numb, nodding pleasantly as they passed someone walking the other way.
Phoebe was on her other side somewhere slightly behind them. Even without seeing her, Helena knew she would be walking stiff, her spine, straight and unyielding. How disappointed her aunt must be to have this outing spoiled in such a way. Helena took a breath and resolved to see this through, to make the evening as pleasant as possible for her aunt. Did she not owe her that much?
They stopped before a door, opened by a uniformed attendant, revealing a box, a tiny balcony all their own that was placed just above the main floor, away from the crowds. The seats were plush and exquisitely comfortable as Helena discovered when she sank into one gratefully.
Was this where the Duke normally sat for theatre performances or had he been as thoughtful as this, to provide a small space away from the prying eyes of those around them? She had little time to think on it for she was distracted by the first instruments singing out in the discordant concerto of that seemed so much noise that came of tuning instruments and preparing to play.
The lights dimmed, gaslights turning low, as the crowd around them quieted, until there were only soft rustles of clothing from those attending and the occasional cough.
What followed should have been the pinnacle of everything that Helena had witnessed thus far in her life. The music was exquisite, the pieces familiar but played in such a way that they transported her outside of herself. More than once she felt tears upon her cheeks, as some particular refrain coaxed some deeper emotion from her.
But she could not forget the censure, the glances. By the time the intermission came, she could not think at all now that it was time to socialize. The lights came up, and the musicians sat back to shuffle sheet music and talk. What she would have given to be down there upon that stage, cradling the harp against her, using it as a bulwark against all this unpleasantness.
Phoebe had relaxed considerably, talking comfortably with their neighbor in the next box, a matronly lady that Helena remembered as coming to their house for the literary discussion group, though she’d never attended.
She wondered what such a fine lady as that would think to know she had been observed in her comings and goings by one lonely girl, half-hidden by the curtain at the window every week.
Would she, being one of Phoebe’s friends, turn such an unpleasant gaze upon her?
“What do you think of the music?” The Duke asked, and she realized with a start that he was asking this a second time, so caught in her wool-gathering that she had not been aware of the question the first time.
The music. This she could answer honestly enough. Perhaps he had not noticed the unfriendly looks. Men were often not aware of the subtleties of expression that women employed to express their displeasure.
“I found the piece by Beethoven inspiring, did you not?” she replied with certain enthusiasm. She wanted him to know she appreciated this evening, despite how it had begun. “Were you not simply in awe of the violins in the second movement?”
He chuckled, sitting leaned back comfortably in his chair as though he had no care in the world. “I have never in my life been in awe of violins until this moment,” he said with a smile that she felt all the way down to her toes.
“Are you mocking me, Your Grace?” she asked but could not help laughing with him.
“I am every bit as serious as you, if not more. I too found the Beethoven to be a better rendition than I had heretofore expected, though I think if you were left inspired by the music here, you would be doubly so in London, were you given a chance to listen to it played there.”
“Is London so grand then?” she asked wistfully, for she knew now how far out of reach such a place was to her, with her face being as it was.
“I think that is a question best answered by your own self, once you have gone. Am I correct in understanding that you have never been?”
“Once. We went once for my coming out.”
There was a world of things she didn’t say in that answer, as brief as it was, but he seemed to understand all the same. His eyes left hers, moving instead to pass over the crowd below. “You should go again, My Lady,” he said finally, but even as he said it, the neighbors on the side opposite from where Phoebe sat in deep conversation returned from stepping out into the hall and settled again in their seats.
“Did you see that hideous girl? I wonder at what her family was thinking, to allow her out in polite society like that.”
A woman tittered. “On the arm of that Duke as well. I suppose though there is not another as would touch him. I heard he has lost his entire fortune. Imagine!”
