Page 46 of Song of the Caged Duchess
“Really?” Esther frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that she told me to go downstairs and into the sitting room and ask to join you.”
“What a ridiculous thing to do!” Esther exclaimed. “She wasn’t in the least concerned that you would make a fool of yourself doing something like that?”
“I don’t think that mattered to her,” Eugenia said. “She considered it more important that I simply be in the room with the Duke. She thought that if came in, His Grace would take pity on me and allow me to stay.”
Esther shook her head. “And then what did she think would happen?”
“I don’t know,” Eugenia said. “She expects me to do something, but I’ve never fully understood what. She wants me to turn the Duke’s attention from you onto me. I wouldn’t know how to do that even if it was something I was interested in doing.”
“Of course you wouldn’t,” Esther agreed. “You’re too kindhearted for the manipulative tactics your mother wants you to use.”
“I’m just not as pretty as you are,” Eugenia said. “No gentleman would ever look at me when you were in the room. My mother surely knows that. She reminds me all the time that I don’t have enough to recommend me.” She shook her head. “And yet she thinks I could steal the Duke away from you. It doesn’t make sense.”
“Looks aren’t everything,” Esther said firmly. “I’ve told you many times that I think you’re lovely, Eugenia, and I’ll say it a hundred times more. But you know that the Duke isn’t pursuing me because of what I look like. I first got his attention by speaking up to him.”
“Are you saying I ought totalk backto a gentleman?” Eugenia laughed. “Mother would tear her hair out if she knew I was even imagining such a thing.”
Esther laughed at the thought of what her aunt would say. “That’s not what I’m saying,” she said. “I’m just saying you should be your true self. There are gentlemen out there who admire kindness and generosity in a lady, and those gentlemen will adore you. You need to let them see who you are.”
“Mother has always said that being who I am is the worst thing I could do,” Eugenia said quietly. “She says I shouldn’t let gentlemen see howstrangeandawkwardI am.”
“You aren’t those things,” Esther said. “The only thing that’s strange about you is the fact that you’re decent and not conniving. So many people are just the opposite.”
Like me. Aren’t I a lot more conniving than I am decent?
“Esther?” Eugenia said. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” Esther said. “Why do you ask?”
“You seemed very far away,” Eugenia explained. “Lost in thought. What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing important,” Esther assured her.
“You’re thinking abouthim,” Eugenia said, smiling. “The Duke.”
“Well, all right. I was.”
“I think you have feelings for him,” Eugenia said.
“Don’t be silly,” Esther protested. “I hardly know him. We’ve met each other only two times.”
Still, she couldn’t help remembering the way he had kissed her fingers before taking his leave this morning. The way he had hovered for just a moment over her hand, looking up into her eyes, a small, soft smile on his face.
Does he have to be so attractive? It makes everything that much more difficult! It’s hard to keep a level head when you’re in the presence of someone so good looking.
“It’s all right to have feelings for him,” Eugenia said, almost as if she could hear Esther’s thoughts. “If anything, it’s a good thing, Esther. You deserve a chance to fall in love. I know you’re dedicated to marrying for advantage, for your family’s sake. But that doesn’t mean you can’t love him, too.”
“You sound like Amelia,” Esther said. “That’s exactly what she’s been telling me. That I need to concern myself with love. But honestly, Eugenia, who has the time for it?”
“You’ll only marry once in your life,” Eugenia said. “If you do it quickly, this may be the only Season you ever get to enjoy as an unmarried lady. Don’t you think you ought to try to have a good time? You were the one who told me to relax and enjoy myself at the Bolton Ball.”
“But that was different,” Esther said.
“I don’t see how,” Eugenia said.
“You’ve been so anxious,” Esther explained. “Your mother has you so worried about living up to her expectations. I told you to relax and enjoy yourself because I couldn’t stand to see you missing out on the joys of the ball because you were so caught up in your worries. That’s all.”
