Page 43 of When a Highlander Vows
Lucas resisted the temptation to throw the pewter tankard at his friend before he disappeared. He waved a hand to a passing servant who filled his tankard once again, and he settled back against the wall. It was going to be a long, bloody night.
22
Caitlin gulped at the wine, hoping it would quell the trembling in her legs. She tried to tell herself that it was a fear of the crowd that had her in its grasp, having not heard or felt so many people around her in some time. The fact that she could not see them all very clearly irritated her and made her feel like an animal in a cage being prodded and poked at by strangers.
But truly, it was the dance which had made her muscles feel as though they didn’t belong to her, like someone else was pulling the strings and controlling her movements. Lucas had been grim, but he had not been displeased when he’d agreed to dance the first dance with her.
In fact, she had felt safe in his arms as they’d moved, her following his lead as best she could. With the rest of the room blurred to her vision, only his face was clear. The face that was becoming burned into her mind, appearing in her imagination even when he was not there. The eyes, so dark they looked nearlyblack, were actually dark brown, and the green flecks in them had been even more visible in the firelight.
He had begun to grow a beard, the color of charcoal just like his hair, and it gave him an even more fearsome, manlier appearance. But to her, it only made her want to run her fingers along his jaw to explore the new planes of his face. The beard had also drawn her eyes to his lips, remembering what pleasure he had wrought by simply kissing her.
It is just yer grief that makes ye want him so. It is nae real. It cannae be.
Her mind tried to remind her of sense, even though her heart wavered, pattering more quickly when Lucas was near. And now, she stood alone by the Laird’s table. He’d left her as quickly as possible after the dance, and she could no longer see him.
It is because he is telling me without words that he does nae want me. I must learn to listen to that.
She took another sip of wine when a few people began to approach her, greeting her kindly. Smiling at them, she spoke as friendly as she could, trying to remember that it would be over soon, and she would be able to be in her chamber again on her own. A servant came by, filling her wine, and she thanked him with a smile, turning back toward the others when she saw Paige in front of her.
“Miss MacLennan,” Paige said briskly.
“Caitlin, please,” Caitlin replied.
The others who had been standing nearby gave their goodbyes and returned to the merriment of dancing and feasting.
Paige put her hands on her hips, looking Caitlin up and down. “Ye have had a tryin’ day, I am sure, the buryin’ of yer brother and all.”
“Aye. But this was a way to remember him. I shall always be grateful to Lottie and Lucas for preparin’ this in honor of his memory.” Not knowing what to say next, and curious that Paige should be a little kind to her, Caitlin drank instead of saying more.
But that kindness was soon lost as Paige’s expression turned icy. “I see the two of ye are already on a first-name basis, even though ye have only just arrived.”
“Aye,” Caitlin said with a flush. “I suppose it is rather odd, but he asked it of me.”
“I see.” One brow arched on Paige’s face. “Well,” she said in a low voice, stepping closer. “Even though ye have been shown great kindness here, Lass, daenae think that I too am so easily swayed by yer polite demeanor and bonnie looks. I ken ye are waitin’ for the Laird to ask ye for yer hand, so that ye can rule as the Lady of McDougall Clan.”
Caitlin’s mouth opened, shocked by Paige’s stark words. “Paige, ye are mistaken.”
“I daenae think so. I have lived a life and seen many things, most of all people who would dae anythin’ they can for money and power. But I willnae let ye. I care about the Laird and his heart, and ye cannae simply come into the Castle and take him as ye please. It is I who deserve him after so many years servin’ this Clan and this Castle. I have loved him for a long while.” Paige lifted her chin and stared directly into Caitlin’s surprised eyes.
Embarrassed by her own desire for Lucas, she reached out an arm to touch Paige’s. Paige stilled, looking down at the gesture with confusion.
“Please, Paige, dae listen. Ye cannae think that I have any hope of catchin’ the Laird’s eye, or for gettin’ him to propose marriage. It is only Lottie who pushes us together for a reason I daenae understand.” She chuckled morbidly. “I am nearly blind. Ye cannae believe that a man like Lucas would ever consider me. I am a broken woman and can hardly live a normal life. Nay man would want me for a wife.”
She smiled, and Paige’s angry expression slowly smoothed. “Och, aye,” she said, removing her arm from Caitlin’s grasp, now looking uncomfortable. “Quite right.” Her tone was calmer now, not so filled with anger.
“Since I am to live here for some time, I dae hope that there is a chance we may be friends, of a sort. I have nay wish to takeanyone, and I dinnae even wish to come here. I was perfectly satisfied in me little home. This was all Lucas’ doin’.”
Paige nodded. “Aye, true enough. I will leave ye be, Lass.” Without answering Caitlin’s plea for friendship, Paige turned and left, looking at least suitably chastened for the time being.
Sighing, Caitlin turned back to the Laird’s table, and she found a seat. The others joined her, and food was served. She ate and drank, feeling warm and giddy with the wine in her veins. Lucas was so busy talking to the others at the table, they hardly spoke.
But Sarah and Archie told a few charming tales, and Caitlin found herself laughing loudly with the rest of them.
“And then he fell right into the hearth, naked as the day he was born,” Sarah said, laughing, the others following suit.
Archie chuckled, turning only slightly red. “Aye, I think I had a pair of twin bruises on me ass for about two weeks.”
Caitlin laughed, joining in the merriment, enjoying feeling a part of something. The castle was beginning to feel like a home, even though there was so much uncertainty around. A new friendship could bud with Paige, and she knew where she stood with Lucas. The amount of wine she’d consumed over the last two hours was beginning to make everything look a little brighter and happier.
