Page 61 of Taken By the Devilish Highlander
“I think I’ll skip dinner tonight,” she said. “I’m still full from the picnic.”
“Aye,” he said, though she heard the hesitation in his voice. They could both feel the change between them, a coldness that was all the more noticeable after the joy of the afternoon. But she couldn’t keep herself from being short with him, from sending some of the anger she felt in his direction.
“I think I’ll lie down.”
She turned and pushed through the door, leaving Archer to return the picnic basket. Feya made her way up the curved stairs, pushing her legs fast up flight after flight. Something about theburning of her muscles felt good, a physical pain to pair with her emotional one.
When she reached the floor of her bedchamber, she turned down the hallway and walked fast to her room, praying she would see no one. As soon as she was safely inside, she slammed the door and pulled the lock across, relieved to be alone.
“Pull it together,” she whispered to herself. She dropped onto her bed, feeling the dampness of her dress from their time in the pond. “He was only having fun,” she lectured herself. “He was only following what his body wanted, enjoying himself while he could.”
But hadn’t Feya been doing the same? She didn’t feel shame about what she and Archer had done, only gratitude that he had shown her how good her body could feel. Still, it hurt to think it didn’t mean much to him. That he simply wanted her body, nothing more.
She let her mind wander to Morgana, imagining her sister was sitting beside her. What would Morgana say when she told her about this, which she most certainly would? How would she react when Feya told her her heart was breaking, and she didn’t know why?
Ye love him.
She heard Morgana’s voice clearly, so matter-of-fact. She could even imagine the way her sister would look at her with thatknowing smile, her eyebrows lifted as she told Feya the truth she could see so clearly. A truth Feya couldn’t see for herself.
“I love him,” she whispered to the air. And speaking it further solidified the truth of the words. All this anxiety she felt about going home, all these conflicted emotions—they had a singular reason. She was in love with Archer.
But what did it matter? Just because she loved him didn’t mean he felt the same way. He was simply carrying out his side of the bargain, after all. According to him, he would drop her off with her family and they would be square. An eye for an eye. Feya’s healing for Archer’s protection. In a few days, theirdealwould be over.
So ye must forget him. Just enjoy what it was. Move on.
It was easy to tell herself, but it didn’t erase the hollow feeling in her chest. It didn’t stop the pain that made tears prick at her eyes. Feya squeezed her eyes closed and pushed the tears away. She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed, forcing away all the thoughts of self-pity that were looming by her bed, ready to jump in with her.
She jumped up and remembered her family, the people whodidlove her. She needed to focus on them and the joy she would feel to be reunited with them. And then, there was her clan. They needed a strong healer, a woman who could help them through illness and crisis. After her months here with Holly, Feya had even more knowledge to bring back to them.
Yes, she resolved. She would go back with her head held high. She wouldn’t let these past few months be a waste. Instead, she would bring back what she learned to the people who cared for her. With renewed energy, Feya sat down at her writing desk and pulled a fresh piece of paper from the drawer.
She wrote the name ‘Holly’ in careful script, and then she paused, wondering how she could condense everything the woman had taught her into a few sheets of paper. But then, after a moment to compose her thoughts, she began to write.
29
“Are ye sure ye have to go?”
Ayla sniffed as she held hard to Feya’s hands. Feya could feel Ayla’s sadness in that grip, her reticence to let her go, and she swallowed hard, reminding herself for the hundredth time that she wouldn’t let herself cry. Of course, this was a much harder task with Ayla crying in front of her.
“Promise you’ll visit me,” Feya asked, feeling desperate. She couldn’t believe this would be the last time she would see Ayla. Shewouldn’tbelieve it.
“I will,” Ayla nodded. “And you’ll come here too. You’re a part of this place now.”
Instead of answering, Feya pulled Ayla into a hug, squeezing her tight. She had lain awake at night wondering if she would ever come back to Castle Dougal. Would Archer want her to? Would she even be welcome? Now that theirdealwas over, he mightput all of this behind him. He might simply close the door on whatever there was between them.
The horses were saddled next to them, Feya’s few belongings packed into the saddlebags. The large mares shifted their weight and sighed as they waited for Feya and Archer to depart. Now they lifted their heads as a figure rushed out of the door.
“Feya.” Holly came quickly, a small pot between her hands. “I worried I would miss ye.”
“I could never leave without seeing ye,” Feya assured her. She recognized the sapling in the small clay pot as one of Holly’s apple trees. They were the same saplings Holly and Feya had planted in the woods for Archer. Feya’s chest ached as she saw it, and she felt a pull between pain and gratitude. She wasn’t sure she wanted this reminder of Archer, wasn’t sure she could bear to plant this at McKenzie Castle where she would look at it daily. Where she would think about him…
“Ye should have a part of the orchard,” Holly said as she pressed the plant in her hands. “And when it grows larger, ye can plant more of them. A piece of this place will always be with ye.”
Tears flooded Feya’s eyes, and she blinked hard, fighting back the tears. These women were breaking down her resolve, making it harder and harder to remain dry-eyed.
“Thank ye for everything ye taught me,” she whispered. “I willnae forget it.”
“I ken ye willnae,” Holly smiled. “Ye were me best student.”
