Page 10 of Status Undefined
“Yes. I saw you.” Liam blushed but didn’t ask when and where. It’s better not to know some things.
“And, uh… what do you think?”
“I’m happy for you. A bit jealous ‘cos you’ll have less time for me…” I said smiling.
“Oh, stop. We’ll still have our ‘Saturday-morning-beautiful-beach’ tradition.”
“Why did you pick today to tell me?”
“Well, I wanted to tell you. But I also want to ask your advice. I want to tell my parents, and I figured you’ve been there because you’re… you know…”
“Gay?”
“Yeah, that. I guess I’ll have to get used to the word.”
“Try saying it 100 times every night in front of the mirror. It helps.”
He laughed and his tension seemed to ease. “You’re insane!”
“For real. I’ll help you. We can practice until you get comfortable enough to talk without choking on the word like you did just now.”
Liam looked ashamed.
“It’s ok, Liam. This is unknown territory. I’ll help you prepare. And when you’re ready to tell them, I can even be there if you’d like. The coming out conversation with your parents was one of the easiest I’ve ever had. There’s nothing to worry about.”
Liam seemed relieved but on the verge of tears. A good sign. It meant the tension was broken. I got up to give him a hug.
“It’s so great to have a big brother,” he said quietly.
We spent hours in my apartment working on Liam’s coming out speech and laughing. I held up photos of Naama and Eli and mimicked them. I knew this was all unnecessary because Naama and Eli were enlightened and accepting, but it was important for Liam as he readied himself to say the words he feared so much. He wanted me to be there when he told them. He also wanted to be sure that Keren wouldn’t interrupt. “She’ll find out next. It might make her love me more, that weirdo.” He smiled. I knew how important she was to him.
About a week later Liam was ready. He turned off the TV and called his parents, looking to me for a last shot of courage. I smiled at him, and he gave me a tight-lipped smile in return. His parents came into the room and looked at the two of us expectantly. And then it was done. Liam told them and was rewarded with the hugs he had so hoped for. No big deal. Just two parents loving their kid. I couldn’t hold back my tears. I was so happy for him.
“So when is Alex coming over to meet us?” Naama didn’t waste any time.
“Soon,” grinned Liam shyly.
“I think the more important question is when Amit is going to bring someone home,”Eli said.
Everyone laughed. I’d been a silent witness until then, not saying a single word, but I was never invisible in this family.
“Don’t count on me. I’m a lost cause.”
“I’m glad you are – a lost cause. That way only someone really special will be the one for you.” Naama smiled at me lovingly. I knew I would never be able to express how grateful I was.
December 9
(visa expires in 36 days)
“Keren! Come on! We’re eating.” Naama yelled for the tenth time.
“Just a sec!” came a voice from the shower.
“She’s been in there for two hours,” Naama said shrugging, emoji-like.
A few minutes later we heard Keren emerge from the bathroom.
“At last… wow,” Naama’s jaw dropped as Keren came into the room smiling shyly. She was wearing an off-the-shoulder black dress with a neckline that Naama probably wouldn’t have signed off on. Her hair was straightened and even I noticed something different about her makeup. The zit she’d sported yesterday had disappeared completely. I didn’t know makeup could do that. It would have helped me out a lot in tenth grade. On the other hand, my dad would have walloped me when he realized I was wearing makeup.
