Page 19 of Secret Seduction
“Thanks,” I reply, standing up, done with the way she’s acting around me. I’m a human being. I’m also an adult and don’t need to feel like I’m being talked down to.
“Sure thing,” she says with fakeness. Hopefully, this will be my only time having to deal with her. Well, minus coming back once a year for a woman’s physical. Doctor Gallo reiteratedthe news to me multiple times, and especially after he found the cyst.
We meander through the halls, walking by closed patient rooms. A couple of nurses are in the hall at a laptop stand. They glance my way, sending me a quick smile before returning to their work. I almost feel like I’m walking the plank with each step we take. Up until this time, I’ve remained optimistic, but now that I’m here, a dreadful sensation takes hold, making me think the absolute worst. The what-ifs plague my mind.
What if it’s cancer?
What if I can’t have children?
What if Luke wants them, and this is a deal breaker?
What if the world ends tomorrow, and I’m worrying about nothing?
What if I have nothing to worry about?
The minute I walk through the door, I think nothing of ignoring Marissa. I’m too in my head and need a moment to myself.
“Well, the results are interesting, to say the least. Let’s just say if I were you, I wouldn’t make any long-term plans with Luke. Doctor Gallo will be in momentarily.” This bitch. I’d just talked myself off the ledge, and here she comes, basically pushing me right off the cliff. Marissa, the cunt of all cunts, drops that bomb and walks out like she didn’t just try to wreck my entire fucking world. I’m stuck, standing still, feeling like the world is slowly fading away, a black void. It’s like when you drink too much red wine, fall asleep, the whole world fades away while your head is spinning, you’rehaving an out-of-body experience, and then you wake up the next morning wondering if it was all a dream.
My hand reaches out for something to hold myself up, sensing my knees are about to buckle. Sweat dots my brows, and luckily, I fold into a chair at the last minute. I have enough sense to put my head between my knees and breathe through the bleakness. I keep blinking my eyes. I’ll be damned if I let anyone see me break down, not out in public, and not in front of that twat waffle, that’s for sure.
I’m a yoga and Pilates instructor. Breathing is part of my direction. Pulling myself out of this is what I need to do. Then I’ll be texting my girls immediately. I’ll also ask them if I can add Coralynn to the chat, so I won’t have to double explain the situation at hand. The last thing I want is for my sister to hear it from Lyric at work.
I take a deep inhale, controlling myself, a hard task bent over the way I am. It’s also hurting my abdomen. I sit up, and although I’m lightheaded, I really don’t want to give Doctor Gallo a reason not to allow me to work at the desk at the studio. I clear my head and continue my breathing technique, connecting my body and mind to regulate my emotions, or try to, and deepen my awareness and presence. I repeat the process until I’m in a better state of mind, then I pull out my phone and get to work.
Me: Hi, I’m at my appointment. Can I add my sister to the chat? Some shit just went down, and I’d rather not repeat it. I also want to keep this between all of us. No boys!
@Coralynn has been added to the group
Lennie: I’m here, and she’s added.
Coralynn: Wow, I feel like I’m part of the cool club now.
Lyric: Please make this fast. A class is starting in ten minutes, and I don’t want to be late and have the boss lady down my throat.
Kenny: Oh, this is going to be tea, for sure.
Maci: I’m here, too. Well, while peeing for the eighteenth time today, and it’s not even noon.
Winnie: I’m with Lyric and Coralynn at LITHE. Which, by the way, Sebastian is loving this class. Please don’t stop them anytime soon.
Me: Well, this will be fast. Lennie, you are in fact missed here. It’s not the same, and I’m not sure if you know who Marissa is, but my god. The woman needs the prod taken out of her ass, a personality change, and to never work around people for as long as her miserable self is alive.
Lennie: Fuck, I knew the office would fall apart. I’m getting my sneakers on and driving into work. No way am I letting that little shit stain ruin my office.
Lyric: Omg, what did she do?
Maci: This must be bad, really bad.
Kenny: Right, because Shae never says anything this bad about people.
Coralynn: That’s because Shae has dad’s personality, whereas I’m more of our mother and like to kick ass and take names. Which, now that I have, I’ll be right back.
Me: Sit your asses down. I’m waiting for Doctor Gallo to make an entrance now, and the last thing I need is a pregnant woman charging through the door with my sister on her tail.
Winnie: Literally, have you met your husband, Lennie? He will lose it, like, stage five fire alarm will happen.
Me: Okay, I know Luke. You all know we’ve been hot and heavy minus the fun stuff since the party. Well, technically before, but that’s a story for another time.
