Page 64 of Unworthy
Please, let me give you the sea
Heath
“Well, of course she’ll come home with us,” Fern Hardcastle had decided and in her mind that was that. “She can’t do anything for herself with her arm out of action. It makes sense for her to come home.”
“Mam, no offence, but she won’t want you fussing. She’ll be reight with us, won’t she, Mia?”
“I’d love to have you stay, honey,” Mia said. “Youlooked aftermenot so long ago, remember?”
“She can stay with me,” Dee put in. “I had a bad feeling about Bodhi. Always boasting about his mad skills on the water and how he only worked with Yaz so she could bring in the rich blokes when we all knew who the talented one was. I’m the one that should look after her. This is my fault.”
“It’s not your fault, Dee,” said Yaz. “Don’t say that. You did try to warn me, and I didn’t want to listen. I’m the one that got taken in by him. I’m the idiot that set up a business with him.” Her voice was flat and lifeless, and it was making my chest feel tight. Some of her spark had been knocked out of her. “Thanks everyone, but I’ll be alright at home. I’m used to injuries. My shoulder has come out before, you know.”
“What?” Fern shouted, and the room fell silent.
“It’s not a big deal, Mum,” Yaz said. “I did it about four years ago in a comp. Washing up was a bit of a bugger for a couple of weeks, but I managed.”
“You dislocated your shoulder, and you didn’t tell me?” There was real hurt in Fern’s voice now. To my shock, I saw her eyes fill with tears. “My little girl was hurt, and I didn’t even know about it?”
Yaz shrugged, then winced – shrugging not being the best idea with her shoulder. “I’m sorry Mum but–”
“That was when I was onDream Homes, wasn’t it?” Max said. “Four years ago – that was when all that shit was going on. Is that why you didn’t say owt?”
“Max I–”
“She’s just used to taking care of herself,” I put in and everyone turned to me. “We’ve all treated Yaz like some flighty incapable child, when she’s actually stronger and more resilient than the lot of us.”
An awkward silence followed my words.
“Ialways knew you kicked arse, Auntie Midge,” Teddy said, and Max pushed his shoulder. “What?” he said, shoving Max back. “I did, Dad. I knew all about her career and stuff. You lot never followed any of that shit. She’s one of the most badass windsurfers around. And she really helped me with my exam anxiety last year.”
“Not so badass now, squirt,” Yaz said, giving him a small smile.
“What are you on about? Ten stitches and a dislocated shoulder is like… the height of badass.”
“See, it’s confirmed,” Yaz said. “I’m a badass. And this badass can look after herself.”
“If it was just a dislocated shoulder, Yaz, then maybe, but you’ve had a significant head injury, too. I’m sorry, but you can’t go home alone,” I said.
She sighed and rested her head back against the pillow again. “Right,” she whispered. “Of course.” Turning her head away from all of us to look out of the window, I saw her throat bob as she swallowed, and her eyes shine a little brighter with unshed tears.
“I’m sorry, love,” Fern said, stroking his daughter’s hair back from her forehead. “But I think Heath’s right. It’ll just be for a little while then we can– ”
Yaz laughed then, but it was entirely without humour and it cut through me like a knife. “It’s fine, Mum. I’ve got to get out of the flat now anyway. It’s going on the market soon now Bryn’s gone. His daughter’s decided to sell up.” Her voice cracked over Bryn’s name.
“I’m sorry about that too, love.”
“You and Dad were right after all,” she went on, still in that hollow, emotionless voice. “Ihavebuggered up my life. Business down the drain, losing my home. I’m right back at square one. I should have listened when you–”
“Don’t you bloody dare!” I burst out and Yaz’s mouth snapped shut, her eyes widening with surprise. It was the most animated I’d seen her for the last hour, thank God. “Don’t youdareput down all you’ve achieved. You built up that business despite that utter prick working against you behind the scenes. Yaz, I’m sorry I ever contributed to making you feel you didn’t deserve to be treated fairly. Nobody should ever have made you feel less than you are, and it kills me that I used to be the one to do it. But please, please know your value now. It’s your talent and warmth that’s made a success of all this. It’s you who gives and gives to all us ungrateful sods. You who supports everyone, expecting nothing back. You will not give up on this business and we’ll all be there to back you.” There was a long pause as Yaz looked down at her hands on the bed, then her shoulders began to shake.
“I worked so h–h–hard,” she said, her breath hitching on her sobs. Mia was moving toward her, but I just couldn’t stay away. Not having her in my arms when she was this upset was intolerable. I pulled her gently to me as I sat on the bed. Her good hand clutched my shirt, and she sobbed into my chest.
“I know you did, darling,” I murmured into her hair. “Everyone knows you did. And it wasn’t for nothing. You won’t lose the business. We won’t let that happen.”
“B–but–” she tried to say as she pulled back slightly.
“But nothing. There’s no shame in taking some help from the people that love you, Yaz. I’m sorry if the way we’ve all treated you has made you feel that you have to go it alone. That’s on us, and I promise we’ll make it up to you. But you’ve got to let us help now.”
