Page 31 of Knot In My Plans
Isadora shook her head, as if she didn’t think about it that way. Then she stopped, her pretty eyes darting from each of us. Her hands wriggled on top of her lap, yet she couldn’t say the words and look into our eyes.
“I hate the idea of being with someone else,” she finally confessed.
“And your house? And the money?” Anders pushed.
Her face softened, and she swallowed something stuck in her throat. “The house was the only thing I had. That’s why I was hanging on to that. But what if it’s not the only thing for me?”
“It’s not,” I said with all my might.
No, an empty house wasn’t the only thing for her. She deserved much more than that, and I was going to do everything to make sure she got it.
Isadora looked at me for a long moment, and then she nodded. “So I’d like to stay. And I don’t want to do any tests. I-I want to stay here with you all.”
The fear that I carried around my heart finally lifted at once with her words, so sudden I felt lightheaded. All the hate, all the misunderstanding, all the guilt suddenly meant nothing. It was just something that happened to me and was finally in the past.
Isadora smiled shyly, something I wasn’t used to seeing from her with all that attitude, but I liked all versions of her, especially this one right here. Naked and satisfied.
I let go of a breath and thirty years of rage and lay back, her hand found mine as she cuddled between Per and Anders. My heart quickened inside my chest, but I told myself it was all great. She was here, in our nest, and she was ours.
She was forever ours.
Epilogue
Isadora
They said I didn’t need to give away the house, but I sold it anyway. After a few months in Sweden, I came back home with the three of them. They helped me pack the rest of the house and organize the things I had in storage, and finally, I was ready to say goodbye to that part of my life.
My dad wasn’t in that house. He wasn’t in Sweden, either. It took time, but I finally understood that people who loved us never left. I carried Dad inside me every single day. His memories were mine, his multitudes I thought about every single day. He was in me, screaming in my ear, smiling when I saw something he liked. Proud any time I forged my own way in this world, just like he did.
With the pack, I had to learn and understand more than a dad. My dad was a real person. He was flawed, he made mistakes, but he loved me fiercely, and I loved him back. I didn’t mind that he was flawed because I was too.
Anders, Sven, and Per let go of a lot of anger once we officially mated. It wasn’t just because they loved me and they couldn’t keep hating my father like that, but because that hatred was misplaced when we accepted that destiny joined us. Dad had to leave and find happiness outside the pack to lead us here. Accepting the love we had for each other was also accepting that sometimes we had to hurt to build our futures.
Per lowered the flowers he brought to Dad’s grave, a somber expression on his face. He reached for me, and I held his hand. I had gone to Dad’s grave every month since he died, and every time I felt like the world was crushing down on me and I had no way to protect myself.
This time, I knew everything was going to be okay.
Sven cleaned the grave, and Anders watered the flowers. Together, we cleaned up the place, silently and respectfully. I had always cleaned his grave alone. No one ever held my hand, no one ever grieved as intensely as I did.Until now.
Per hugged me close to his chest when the others were done fussing over the grave. We stood in loud silence, my eyes filled with tears, but this time, I was grateful too. My days of standing here alone were over. No more me against the world. I could stumble and fall; I could be vulnerable and difficult. I could beanything at all times, and I was never going to be alone again. That was my first lesson in being part of a pack. A lesson I learned happily.
The universe was so funny, right? It created pathways never traveled, never imagined, but always delivered you to your destination. This was how I felt standing beside my pack with the warm breeze of Brazil and a watery smile over my lips.
I was finally where I needed to be.
The tears rolled down my cheeks, but I wiped them away before kneeling over the grave one last time. I traced Dad’s name with the tear-soaked pad of my finger and sent him a smile in heaven.
“Thanks, Dad.”
