Page 56 of Sins of a Scot
“The sun is up,” he declared, as he pushed himself up off the bed. He then came to stand beside her so she could see him, though she still felt embarrassed even now. “I will away tae find Thomas. If these pains come back, ye could dae with something tae ease yer suffering.”
The following few days, Iseabail had little choice but to persevere the discomfort, though the pain lessened by the day. Owen had managed to obtain some laudanum from Thomas, and thus, some afternoons, she just slept with its heavy effects.
On some occasions when she woke, Owen was not in the room with her, but on the occasions he was, he remained seated by her bed. At times, she caught him gazing at her, at others,he remained, reading a book to himself. But for the time they remained at that village, and for the length of time she continued to bleed, Owen booked another room, giving Iseabail more privacy to deal with her condition.
On the fifth day, her courses were gone entirely. It was on that same evening, eating supper together, that they decided to leave the village early the following morning and make their way back to John o’ Groats. Enough time had now passed, and, according to the sailor they had spoken to, the weather ought to be settled enough for them to travel.
The last few days, however, and particularly when she had been left alone, Iseabail had not been able to help wondering about things that had not been said. For example, the kiss they had shared. She certainly did not want to bring it up, and seemingly, Owen was in no rush to do so either. And yet, she was well aware that something had happened between them.
Iseabail had felt entirely captivated afterwards, and while no words had been said, the gaze they had shared when it was over had spoken volumes.
Of course, she had not mentioned that he was the first man to lay his lips upon hers either. She had felt embarrassed about such a disclosure, fearing that such news might make Owen judge her somehow, or worse, have him ask her why. It was the reason she had pretended, when he made the request to kiss her, that it was of no real consequence, even as her stomach had tumbled.
But indeed, it had been of great consequence, and not only because it was her first kiss.
Her body had reacted in ways she had never before experienced, and all of it had been pleasurable. So much so, she had relived the moment several times in the privacy of her own mind. But with Owen’s silence, Iseabail had begun to wonder if it had meant anything to him at all.
As they readied their horses before sunrise the following morning, Iseabail felt a desperate need to clear the air between them.
“I must ask ye something, Owen,” she said, after ensuring the straps on the saddle of her horse were tight.
Owen looked at her expectantly.
She could already feel the heat travelling from her neck into her cheeks, but she could not keep quiet about it any longer.
“The kiss we shared,” she said. But then she hesitated, for the embarrassment grew too much.
“The kiss ye compelled from me, ye mean,” Owen said, a slight smirk dancing on his lips. “What about it?”
She couldn’t help but wonder if he was making fun of it to cover his own discomfort, but something pushed her on. “Well, we havenae spoken about it since.”
Owen held her gaze, and for a slight second, she saw something flash across his face. But then, it disappeared as quickly as it had made its appearance. “I cannae say I didnae enjoy it, if that’s what ye’re getting at.”
She continued to look at him for another long moment. The truth was, she wasn’t sure what she was getting at. She didn’t even know what she really wanted to discover. Perhaps it had been a mistake to bring it up at all.
“How daeyefeel about it?” Owen pressed.
Iseabail shrugged, unsure of what she ought to say. She couldn’t deny she had enjoyed it either, but whether she wanted Owen to know that, she still wasn’t sure. Besides, if she made too much of it, and he didn’t, it would make her look like a fool. This was now a game of who could be the bravest. But given the fact that they may well be stuck with each other for some time longer, Iseabail wasn’t willing to show her hand. Not yet, at least.
“I dinnae ken.”
Owen nodded. “Then perhaps we ought tae pretend it never happened.”
“Aye,” Iseabail said, sure that he was avoiding the subject as much as she. “And perhaps we can forget about the last few days while we’re at it.”
She blushed just thinking of what they had gone through together, but Owen refrained from making any comment and instead, only nodded.
Once he had helped her onto her horse, Owen mounted his own and travelling into the mist of the glens as they left the village, they began their journey. There was not much conversation as they ventured on, leaving Iseabail to battle with her thoughts.
Pretending the kiss had never happened did not make it so. And besides, she knew he had felt something. It wasn’t just she who had found herself speechless afterwards. Did he truly want to forget about it, or was that just a way for him to avoid having to talk about it? A way for him to hide, like she herself was?
Iseabail couldn’t know without asking him outright, and though she was tempted, she kept quiet. If Owen wanted to forget all about it, then perhaps she ought to do the same. They were on a mission after all. A quest to save her family, for her father and brother’s lives still hung in the balance.
They arrived at John o’ Groats before noon, and headed straight to the harbor. There were several boats docked, and by the looks of the activity surrounding some of them, a few were getting ready to set sail. Clearly, the weather was now safe enough for the boats to travel again.
While Iseabail stood back, Owen went to speak to the sailors to try and discover if he could secure them a place to South Ronaldsay.
He returned to her after a short while. “There is a boat leaving now,” he said hurriedly, reaching his arms up to lift her from the horse.
