Page 12 of A Forbidden Night with a Scot
But how could she refuse? Laird MacTavish, the king, and even her own father wanted this wedding to happen. How could she escape it? How could she ever fight the three powerful men who wanted this?
Does Samuel ken? He must.
Alicia wished he would have said something to her. She wished he had prepared her so she could stand in front of her father with a plan, ready to change his mind. But of course, Samuel had not said a thing, perhaps not only because he didn’t think it was his place to speak, but also because he probably wanted to spare her the pain for a few more hours.
The tears that gathered in Alicia’s eyes finally began to fall and there was no stopping them now. She quickly pulled her hand back, trying to dry her cheeks, but the more she tried, the more tears fell, unbridled. Her father’s expression had contorted into one of pain, but Alicia couldn’t bring herself to care, not when she was the one asked to make such a sacrifice.
It wasn’t easy for her father to marry two of his daughters to such people—yet it was even more difficult for Emmeline to be wedded to her husband and Alicia knew it would be the same for her.
Before her father could say anything else, Alicia stood and made for the door. Even as he called her name, she didn’t turn around.She couldn’t face him, not when all the pain threatened to choke her, to turn her into a person she didn’t want to be.
As she turned the corner, unseeing, her vision blurred by tears, she fell right into a solid wall of muscle. At first, she thought it must have been one of the guards, but then she looked up to see none other than Samuel there, his hands flying up to her shoulders to steady her.
She hated how much she wanted that touch. She hated how she immediately collapsed in Samuel’s arms, letting him hold her as she allowed a few sobs to escape her before pulling herself together again.
She didn’t want anyone to see her like this, especially not Samuel.
“So, he told ye.”
As he spoke, Samuel wrapped his arms tightly around Alicia, but she was quick to pull back from him, as much as a part of her—a big part—wanted to stay in his embrace forever. Not only did she not want to lose sight of the fact that she had to keep her distance, but she was also heartbroken that Samuel would allow such a thing. Could he not speak to her father? Could he not make him see that this was madness?
When she pulled back from him, Samuel let his hands fall by his sides with a sigh, not trying to pull her back close. “I’m sorry, Alicia,” he said. “I understand ye must be very upset about this.”
“Upset?” Alicia spat, her tone dripping with venom. “I’m nae upset, Samuel. I am devastated. An’ ye would be too if ye were in me shoes. Ye cannae understand what it is like. Ye’ll never have tae dae anythin’ like this. Ye’ll never have yer own faither betray ye like this.”
She knew she was being harsh, but this was precisely what it felt like—a betrayal from one of the people she trusted the most. How could her father do this to her? How could he agree to this without even putting up a fight?
“It pains him tae even have tae consider this,” Samuel said. “Trust me, Alicia, the last thing yer faither wants is fer ye tae wed Laird MacTavish.”
“He doesnae seem tae be so bothered,” Alicia said.
“He is,” Samuel assured her. “He told me himself that he doesnae wish tae see ye wedded tae him, but how can he refuse when the king himself has decreed it? I promise ye, he doesnae want this but he doesnae ken how tae stop it.”
Alicia had to turn away from Samuel to hide the fresh wave of tears that spilled out of her eyes. She knew what he was saying was true—of course she did. She had seen the look on her father’s face as he delivered the news. But she still needed to be angry at someone; she still needed to blame someone for all this, and her father was the one who was essentially allowing it.
A warm, heavy hand rested on her shoulder as Samuel tried to comfort her and Alicia drew her bottom lip between her teeth,biting hard to ground herself so that she wouldn’t collapse in his arms once more. As tempting as it was, she had made a promise to herself to stay away.
“Come,” he said. “Shall we take a ride tae the loch? Some fresh air will help ye.”
Despite that promise, Alicia nodded.
CHAPTER FIVE
By the time Alicia and Samuel made it to the stables, her tears had dried. Samuel had even made her laugh a few times, though the cheer was always short-lived, the knowledge that she would soon be married off to Laird MacTavish still looming over her.
She didn’t think she would ever get over it. If anything, as the wedding approached, she would surely fall deeper and deeper into despair.
But for now, she was with Samuel and the two of them were riding to the loch near the castle, where Alicia had spent many summers of her childhood. She had always liked that place—cool in the summer and the water freezing over in the winters. As a child, some winters had been so cold that it had allowed her and Katherine to play on its icy surface without fear of falling inside, but it had been a long while since she had last dared such a thing.
Now, it was one of those rare days when the air was nice and warm, the sun shining brightly in the sky. The recent storms hadpassed and it seemed to Alicia that they would get a couple of days, at least, of this fine weather.
Perfect fer swimmin’. I should bring Katherine here too on the morrow.
It struck her then, the thought that they wouldn’t have many of these days left together. If there was no way for her to avoid this marriage with Laird MacTavish, then she would soon be whisked away to his castle and would rarely, if ever, visit her home and her family, just like Emmeline. Even if Castle MacTavish was closer, easier to travel back and forth from, she would be expected to spend her days there, with nothing but short visits home, if she was lucky enough to have them.
Had she known she would be forced to wed for convenience, she would have made sure to cherish every moment she had with her sister.
“It’s too bonnie o’ a day fer ye tae be so gloomy,” said Samuel, pulling Alicia out of her thoughts. “This willnae happen fer a while still. Dinnae think about it right the now.”
